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Dearest Gaia,

Ten years is a long time, and we've been through so much together. I loved you once, back when you were fresh and fun, even if you were in terrible shape. I look back on your sushi errors and rollbacks and laugh. It wasn't funny back then, but we've been through so much since that it's nice to look back on the way things used to be. Remember when we could stay up for hours (WAY past our bedtime) trying on clothes, finally finishing quests, or lurking around Towns just for the heck of it? Remember all those idiots looking for hookups and trying to get my password? Remember how funny that was? Grinning for hours at people listing prices for 1g less than the price above them in the Marketplace, and then doing the same to THEM when they had "DON'T UNDERCUT ME OR U'LL REGRET IT!1!" messages in their store profiles? Just for jollies? Remember when we'd list ten of the same item just under them, and undercut them every five seconds because knowing it pissed them off so much made us giggle into our hands like maniacal little demon monkeys? Remember the whiny PMs and the "OMGAWDIMGONNAREPORTU!!!"s? Ah, I laugh just thinking about it. biggrin

Then, somewhere down the line, you started to change. It was gradual at first, and it should have sent up a red flag. I just shrugged and assured myself it was only a phase, and that everything would be alright. But it wasn't. You became interested in different things, and I guess that's okay. Things just change, and sometimes relationships just stop working. I wanted you for something you just couldn't give me anymore. I wanted you to stay the way you were.

And you? Back then you seemed to appreciate me just for being there, for supporting you when you needed it the most. In return you flourished and shone, and I felt good about myself for being there for you. Now I just feel as if you saw I what I was willing to do for you, and instead of being appreciative, you decided to try and take advantage of it.

That's what happens when people suddenly get hot. I GET that. The old stuff just doesn't cut it anymore, and now you're not even interested in talking to me. I guess that shows where I really stand these days. You aren't fun anymore (THERE, I SAID IT!). Like the stereotypical popular chick, you're just shallow and manipulative now. It's just like in that movie! You know the one, where the main character gets a makeover and all the cool kids suddenly like her and she starts treating her old friends like crap? Even though the old ones stuck with her and the new ones are only there until they get interested in something else? In those movies, that character generally figures out that she's abandoning something good, something she NEEDS, and at LEAST tries to find a middle area. I don't think that's going to happen for you.

I said we were going on a break, and I'd see if I felt the same way when I was ready to try to make it work again. Every time I check to see how you're doing I only feel more terrible. I stuck it out for as long as I could, and watched many of the people that cared about you start to leave. I should have listened to them a long time ago. You only want me for my money now, and what I can do for you. You're not going to change, and I shouldn't expect you to. Not for me.

It's been about two years since the real downward spiral started. Two years of defending you to my friends, to OUR friends, many of whom are no longer here. You pushed them away. I guess it's just my turn now.

Well, we aren't Ennis and Jack. It turns out I really CAN quit you.

Goodbye, Gaia, and please don't cry (or contact me). Best of luck to you in your future. You'll always hold a special little place in my heart heart (OMG, remember that time when....no, no you apparently don't. You probably won't even read this).


Sodoshiin/Lunatic Lace/Pumpkitten/Aria T-Loak
Erin

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