For most of my adult life I have had a rain cloud hanging over me.
The sun rarely broke through the dense, gray clouds to warm my face.
Many times I often wondered to myself if I had been cursed, and why?
I was never a bad kid, maybe a brat when I was younger but anyone is like that.
So what had I done to be shunned in the way that I had?
For years I wondered this and what it all meant.
I have learned many things through horrible events,
all in which I am always left wondering...why did it have to happen to me?
Why did I meet him only to lose him? Why did I love again...only to be scorned in it?
Is there ever going to be an answer? Will I ever find a resolve?
The rain just kept on pouring.
No matter how far I ran, there was no break in the clouds.
There was no sunshine.
All that was left to do was to accept there was no escape.
I had to learn to adapt or try to solve the mystery to my great sadness.
Its hard to believe in hope sometimes when you have only been met with lies and disappointments.
Somehow hope stayed with me and kept me driven.
I continued to look for those elusive answers.
In my journey I discovered many things, I went through many changes.
Some bad, some good.
Truths revealed themselves to me and then some things only made me question more.
You must put a lot of faith in what you want, and have the willpower to achieve it.
Through a lot of hardships and tough times...I believe I have found my answers.
For the first time in over a decade...I have felt the sun.
It is not as warm as I remember it, but it is still bright and shining.
When I look around me, I can see the clouds off in the distance, as if waiting for me to fall again.
I want to believe that the rain has stopped, at least for a while.
Life will always have its ups and downs.
There will always be tragedy to counter the bliss.
My only hope is that my life will have finally found its balance so that I can meet these challenges with the same strength and determination that I have come to rely on.
But memories....
Memories will always linger....
So I will always keep my umbrella ready.
