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What's the point of existing man?
All I do is suffer day to day, struggling to find ways to survive in this ******** hell existence. Every waking moment of my days are filled with regret, waking trauma, abuse, and exhaustion.
I am tired of simply surviving, I want to live, but to live in this world you have to FIT in this world. That is something that I do not do.
I was not built for this world, I was not built to suffer in silence every day.
Though I am twenty five years old, I still suffer emotional and physical abuse from my mother. I still suffer every day with debilitating depression and dysphoria over my body. I have to fight my brain to eat and when I do all I do is cry because why do I deserve to eat? Why do I, an over weight pathetic disgusting flesh monster, deserve food?
I don't. I don't deserve anything. I don't deserve to breathe. My entire family has made that clear since my birth. No one has cared about me enough in my family for me to function. My mother keeps me around so she can abuse my meager paychecks.
I cannot escape.
I am trapped.
I want to die, but I'm too much of a coward to do it myself. I'd leave such a mess that someone else would have to clean it up.
How pathetic am I?