|
|
|
The ducks have populated the mountain side, digging with their webbed feet to create shallow ponds when it rains. I have held out against the invasion longer than most. The radio silence was necessary as I developed a transmission code in a language almost entirely unknown to ducks.
When I returned to the pond, it seemed a bit larger, and there were 16 ducks.
Being cut off from society wasn't so bad. I hear that in some countries, duck is a delicacy. But last week I got a letter by sky mail inviting me to join a medical study on anemia. It had been so long since I had seen my doctor, that I wasn't quite sure that I did not have anemia, and so I have returned to the city.
Every thing seems normal here...
 Keembah · Tue Apr 17, 2007 @ 06:00pm · 0 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
|
I bought my german shepard from a nice woman who had a whole lot of dogs. She had all sorts of types, and so many puppies! It was hard to pick from them, but when I told her that I was looking for a German Shepard, she narrowed it down for me. It's a thourough bred, although I don't have the papers to prove it yet, and its name is Mangy. I'll get you a picture later.
I brought Mangy to the supermarket but he wasn't small enough to hide in my pocket, so they wouldn't let us in. Then he chased birds on the street. We had a lot of fun, but for some reason, a little kid started crying. I tried to tell him not to be afraid of dogs, but his mother was not helping one bit. Silly women.
Keembah · Thu Nov 03, 2005 @ 10:59pm · 0 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Deacon and Discourse were eating outside a small restaurant right next to a store I never go to. When I told Deacon that I was there to buy milk, he seemed very suspicious. That man is too smart for me.
So I went inside and bought milk, just to prove that I am an honest man who goes by his word. I loitered around the inside of the store, though, knowing that I don't have a place in my refrigerator for milk. I tried offering it to a woman outside the store but she just nodded and turned away.
That's when I noticed that Discourse and Deacon did not seem to be hitting it off. That is, they weren't kissing yet. So I sat myself at their table and introduced every one to every one else. "And this is my pet bottle of milk."
Deacon took my pet and accidentally spilled it all over me. Discourse started yelling at him for no reason and then took me to her place behind the supermarket, where I got hosed off. It didn't look like a nice place to live, bad neighborhood you know, so I offered for her to stay with me. She said "let me think about it," went into the store, bought another bottle of milk and lost it over my head.
I think she did that on purpose. I'm going to get a cute german shepard to impress people with so that they'll be nicer to me.
Keembah · Thu Sep 15, 2005 @ 06:23pm · 7 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
|
I have decided that I no longer need money. After that fiasco at the carnival, I have enough duck meat stuffed into plastic bags labeled evidence to last me a life time. I don't need heat because I have an axe and there is plenty of firewood growing vertically in the valley across from the high way. (If I ever run out of meat, I'll just pick it up there). What could I need?
This is a big relief because I was fired from my job throwing boxes unto trucks a month ago while I was off training ducks. I just got the notice today along with five other letters. I didn't know that many could fit in my mail box! It's this sort of thing that explains why I never got promoted. I am a man of poetry.
Speaking of which, I wrote a poem about a lovely woman I saw at the police station today.
O fire demon sing to me
the song of your serenity
your gothic pants portray your thoughts
by emphasizing where they are not
you reek of Discourse softly seeded
to grow wher'er you might be heeded
and your dented hat protects your head
from furry fans we all need dead.
And then I learned that she has a date with the Deacon tomorrow. But all is well, for he will find her too sensible for his tastes when the date is over, I'm sure. And then I will show her my poem, and viola!
Keembah · Sun Sep 11, 2005 @ 12:10am · 4 Comments |
|
|
|
|
Now I will surely be famous |
|
|
|
|
|
|
I'm afraid that I have accidentally been hired at the carnival. This is a very bad thing, as I hate the carnival very much because sixteen years ago the Gigantitron made a little boy throw up and it landed right on my cotton candy, not to mention my date. Or was that Danny? I can't remember because I didn't keep a journal back then, but Danny told me it was him. I asked him if he was my date but he didn't answer me satisfactorily.
How I have been hired and not arrested is the crux of the mystery, as the carnival leader has now explained to me that I could be arrested at his whim. I have no choice but to believe him because he is the King. He wears a crown that says "King" and a red robe with gold colored trimming. I believe that he runs the entire crime syndicate that is the carnival in this country.
Danny and I had gone dressed up as pregnant people. A teenage punk who looked a lot like that boy that threw up on us sixteen years ago yelled "Look at the carnie freaks!" I guess he thought we did not make very attractive pregnant women.
Our attack ducks also did not like the arrangement, so we let them out of our bellies and into the crowd to reck havok. I had hoped that they would eat all the cabbage, or whatever it is that makes that awful cabbage smell at carnivals, but now that I have stayed here a few hours I am sure that we are failures in this.
After drawings much blood from little children, the ducks seemed unhappy to be corraled in the goat pen. That is when the King, after noticing that he had quite the nasty gash in his left ankle, slapped his handcuffs on me. I'm not sure where Danny boy has gotten off to.
Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling
From glen to glen, and down the mountain side
The summer's gone, and all the flowers are dying
'Tis you, 'tis you must go and I must bide
But come ye back when summer's in the meadow
Or when the valley's hushed and white with snow
'Tis I'll be here in sunshine or in shadow
Oh Danny boy, oh Danny boy, I love you so
And if you come, when all the flowers are dying
And I am dead, as dead I well may be
You'll come and find the place where I am lying
And kneel and say an "Ave" there for me
And I shall hear, tho' soft you tread above me
And all my dreams will warm and sweeter be
If you'll not fail to tell me that you love me
I'll simply sleep in peace until you come to me
I'll simply sleep in peace until you come to me
Keembah · Sat Jun 04, 2005 @ 06:02am · 0 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
|
An old friend called up recently, and that's one of the reasons I haven't been able to write in this journal for a while. Deacon Nuno is his name, if you remember him, but I like to call him Danny because it is easier to remember. He asked me if I was interested in a certain enterprise, then told me I couldn't tell any one about it!
This included writing in my journal. Fortunately for me I found my diary he had taken from me so I can get the story straight for when we rule the world, are rich beyond belief, or at least appeared in the Enquirer. I'm concerned that Danny might find out I'm going behind his back, but I'm sure that even if he does all he'll do is take the diary away again. Oh no, do you think he would burn it? I'll be sure to keep it safe. My recorded thoughts are more important to me than anything because other wise how would I remember what I've been doing?
So, to catch you up, he had called and asked me how I was doing. Apparently he had gotten a call from that mentally unstable old man who thinks he owns the pond. I guess Danny is listed as my legal gaurdian or whatever. I was joking when I put his phone number down on all my legal documents but I guess people take that sort of thing seriously. So apparently they had a nice talk and Danny heard that I liked ducks.
That's where his idea comes in! I like ducks so much that I moved to another state to live with Danny in a secluded forest where we can really perform all his super cool high tech experiments that we need to get this thing going!
Oops! I have to go because I hear him coming home!
Keembah · Thu Feb 17, 2005 @ 09:55pm · 0 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Last night Zero came over because I told him he could have one or two of the ducks he saw me buy. When he heard they were at the pond he shrugged his shoulders and decided he would go get a few later. Instead he showed me this new drink called beer. I wasn't sure I liked the taste of it but I was drinking it any way to be polite.
Then things started getting strange. All by itself, the beer started tasting better. Zero started talking about profound things, although I can't remember what they were. We must have stayed up all night because I didn't wake up until about noon with a horrible headache. I think I remember throwing up.
I almost called a doctor but then I decided to wait and now I'm starting to feel better. I'm almost well enough to start cleaning the house and getting dressed again. Why are so many clothes strewn about?
Keembah · Sat Oct 30, 2004 @ 02:31pm · 0 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
|
So I knocked on the cabin door and some grouchy old man answered. It was not uncle hoodi, not by a long shot! The old man may have been there by mistake because he said that he owned the pond and he'd never heard of an uncle hoodi. Maybe I should call the mental hospital for him, because I think he's so delusional he doesn't even know he is sick.
I did call hoodi when I got home, though, and he asked me if I had a fun time at the pond. I said yes, that the ducks were lovely. Then I told him that I had written a poem for a special lady and he said sure, show me, so I did:
I love you with all my heart
Its so full I don't know what to do.
All my heart belongs to you.
He said he had to go, so I didn't get to hear what he thought of it.
Keembah · Fri Oct 29, 2004 @ 01:14am · 0 Comments |
|
|
|
|
I hope this was a good idea. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
It's my fault that Katwina didn't show up. I called her and asked what happened, and she told me she'd gone up to that lake 40 minutes away. Apparently she has a car. It's no problem, though. I had a few of the ducks sent to her place. I hear they don't really need water near by, just food and love like any other pet.
What was a problem was that I had set aside this whole time to spend with her and now I have nothing to do. I've got work in a few hours and the rest of my day is planned down to the minute, but until them I'm a hopelessly unproductive human being unless I can find something to do right now. The cabin by the pond looks like it has a candle on in the window. I think I will stop by there.
Keembah · Thu Oct 28, 2004 @ 04:37pm · 0 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
