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Grr dammit, i busted my lip! here's the story: i'm looking through some ringtone downloads and picking out the ones i like, and my dad calls. he askes me to run down to cv's and get a newspaper. so i get my bike out and leave. i'm riding and trying to keep my hood on at the same time, so i hold it with one hand, hold the handelbars with the other, and hold the bike steady with my legs. getting near the end of the second street i decide to start slowing cause theres a dip and bushes on both sides of the road, so you can't really see cars coming. with one hand i use my back brakes, but they don't ease like my front ones i usually use, and the hand i was holding my hood on with is the one i use for front brakes. the bike jerks, i get caught, and BAM! my face hits the pavement almost perfectly. i'm talkin mouth, nose and forehead touch at the same time. i also scratched up my palms a bit. i'm all like "oh s**t" when i see the blood dripping on the sidewalk and get up. i finish my ride and walk in cv's with my hand over my mouth, asking for the bathroom. they tell me where it is and so i went and rinsed it off. first though i took a picture of it with my camara phone ^_^ wanna see? ok then, follow this link: http://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h100/azubaz/Bustedlip-2.jpg

sometimes when i'm really pissed off and i've had a bad day i feel that if i was to get in a fight i would claw and bite at the person, ripping at them with my teeth and finally ending the struggle by tearing out their throat. is this normal? it's kinda weird i think...

okay, forget anything you've read in my journal so far. too much has happened since my last entry, and i won't bother you with the details. main events: i have a new boyfriend (sorry takkun), theres still something wrong with my moods, and i'm pretty much the same (except the mood thing, thats gotten worse)

either way, theres my update

if i was to finish it and name it, i might call it "break" ^_^

home alone
so much to do
but my mind is busy
thinking of you
cant concentrate
can harldy wait
till i see you again
because as of late

i feel so down
when your not around
i need you near
baby can't you hear?
my heart is beatin
my hands they shake
my mind is racein
i can feel the ache

oh baby why
do i
need to see you
need to see you
oh why
do i
need to see you
i need to see you before

i break

This year for my birthday i got turtles! to be exact, 2 baby red eared slider turtles. there really pretty, and i soon as i can i'll take pictures and post them in this entry ^_^ i havent quite named them yet, because i don't know if they are male or female. i'm hoping one of each, cause i have a really good name for each gender ^_^ if not, i hope they are both male ^_^ i have more boy names than girl names for some reason ^_^ i'll keep updates on them and stuff for sure ^_^

OMGOMGOMG!!! i was randomly looking through the hot topic website, and i found some awsome boots! they don't have a huge heel, they are knee length and lace up, and they are only 45 dollars! better yet, i have enough money to get them!!! tomorrow i'm gonna give my mom my money to put in her checking account, and as soon as she puts it in i'm gonna use her debit card to pay for them! if i get fedex shipping, they can get here in the next week ^_^

edit: got em!!! ^_^

omg, i just put a saftey pin through the skin on my arm. i just pushed it through, under the skin, and back out then closed it. i can't even feel it, except where i got it back out. either way, my heart is beatng really fast and my hands are shaking so bad i can hardly type. i wonder how long i'll keep it in? i think awhile, i just gotta be careful not to snag it on anything ^_^

Dang... the stuff I say in my emo moments sweatdrop

anyways, i got a job ^_^ it's just babysitting, but these kids are monsters. at least i get paid 15 dollars a day ^_^ i've also started my summer class at UAFS. i'm taking freshman english, cause i got a scholarship for it. i'll be in 12th grade next year, so taking this class gets me out of a semester of 12th grade english ^_^ yay me ^_^

possible reasons why people are nice to me now:

- they feel bad for being mean to me before
- they grew up
- they heard i talked to a counseler every week
- they remember what i said about psycho axe murders in elementry school
- they saw my scars and feel sorry for me
- they want to feel better about themselves
- they actually like me (doubt it)
- they realize i'm kinda crazy
- ...what else is left?