|
How the ******** Do I Keep Doing This?!?! |
|
|
|
|
|
|
A few days ago I copied down something I wrote in my journal for that friend of mine to read. (You know, the one from two entries ago, who said he loves me.) He wrote me this reply:
Sam
Wow I dont really know what to say. I love you so ******** much. I actually hurt to read that. I wanna help you but every time I try you become more distant and eventually I fear I may lose you compleatly. I wish it could be just you and me, no stress, no problems, and no other people. When your with me I feel like I could take on the world and I dont have to fear anything. I wish that with just my touch I could heal you. I'd give my life just for you to be happy. I cant take seeing you hurt or cry.
If all I am doing is causing you pain then I'll leave you alone and never bother you again, but you shold know I will always love you.
P.S. please give me a chance I want to show you how much I love you
I wrote him a reply and finally told him that I wanted to be his friend but I didn't like him in that way. He wouldn't talk to me for a few days, but today I finally found out why he was mad at me. Shame on me for passing notes in class!
me: You wanna know why I didn't say something sooner??
him: Hell yeah
me: I was trying to make myself like you that way.
I NEED to make SOMEONE happy....
him: but I don't want you to make yourself like me I want you to be honnest
me: I know that, but....
In my defense, I did tell you straight-up that I would flirt with any of my friends who flirted with me first.
He said something about I boy I mentioned in the note. I swear I was merely using him for demonstration purposes to show how much I care for all my friends. This was a boy from my German class I barely knew, but like okay, and people were making fun of him, so I was going to defend him if I heard any of it again. (At first I didn't think it was bothering him.) Anyway, back to the note I guess.
me: What did I say about anyone else? I don't remember that.
him: The person who was made fun of for changing his style.
me: I don't like him! He is so not my type!
No, I was using him as an example of what I would do for any friend.
him: It sounded like you did.
why wont you be with me then.
me: How did it sound like that?
And I told you, I'm sorry, but I can't make myself like you that way.
him: Ok then. Just know that because of you I felt happy. You broke my heart but whatever right
So what the ******** am I supposed to do now? He's acting really immature compared to how he acted before, and it's pissing me off. But if I tell him off I might regret it. I'm pretty sure he has rather low self-esteem anyway. stressed Whatever. I don't care.
 Eternity Haloheart · Thu Jan 18, 2007 @ 01:44am · 0 Comments |
|
|
|
|
New Game (Small Consolation, Tool of Distraction) |
|
|
|
|
|
|
I got several gift cards and some cash for Christmas, so I went out and bought a new game today. I'd never heard of it before, but it looked like it had good graphics and a great storyline, so I bought it (only $20! xd ). It's called Indigo Prophecy. I totally love it so far.
You play through the game as the killer guy and the two detectives trying to catch him. The thing is, the killer wasn't himself when he killed the dude, so while you're him you gotta try and figure s**t out and keep the cops off your trail.
I also love the controls. It took me a second to get used to them, but now it's pretty easy and it just kinda flows, ya know?
It's kinda creepy and I just managed to get myself stuck for awhile, but I'm takin' a break to be here on Gaia for a bit. 3nodding
Eternity Haloheart · Sun Dec 31, 2006 @ 05:55am · 0 Comments |
|
|
|
|
Ohdearlord, How Do I Do It? |
|
|
|
|
|
|
A friend of mine said on the phone to me today that he's falling in love with me. sweatdrop So what the ******** am I supposed to do about it, right? *sigh*
I just want Isaiah back... but... I can't ask him to take me back.... That wouldn't be right... would it...?
Eternity Haloheart · Sat Dec 30, 2006 @ 07:56am · 0 Comments |
|
|
|
|
Lol, Am I Getting Conceited? |
|
|
|
|
|
|
I had a weird dream the other night.... I don't remember much....
sweatdrop Kevin wanted me back, plus Isaiah was there along with his younger brother and best friend who both wanted me too.... rolleyes Crazy, huh? It was really wacko. I was so confused. But... it was kinda cool, lol.
Eternity Haloheart · Sun Dec 03, 2006 @ 06:42am · 3 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Yay for the alternative school! heart heart
It's so much smaller and we work more on our own and at our own pace and I LOVE IT!! whee
Eternity Haloheart · Wed Nov 08, 2006 @ 01:46am · 1 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ahh, end of the quarter, switched to the alternative high school, and just got new medicine.
So now I'm taking Paxil instead of Prozac. Hopefully this will work, but I'm not counting on it. I don't want to be disappointed again. Life sucks.
Is it possible that these changes will help me?
Will things ever get better?
Eternity Haloheart · Tue Oct 31, 2006 @ 03:44am · 0 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
|
I went to my grandma's house last night and we made two apple pies this morning! whee I brought one home with me (mostly for my mom's boyfriend - he LOVES pie). It was yummy. xd
Eternity Haloheart · Sat Oct 28, 2006 @ 03:46am · 0 Comments |
|
|
|
|
Just the Usual - Everything Sucks |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Gah... I hate my life. emo Why does everything go wrong? But you know, I'm not a complete idiot. I have at least learned to not ask, "Hey, it can't get any worse, right?" Big huge no-no. Never ever say anything like that. No matter how bad it is, it can always get worse. sweatdrop
Sometimes I wish I could just disappear. gonk
Eternity Haloheart · Wed Oct 25, 2006 @ 01:41am · 0 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
