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Love
What is it? Heh. Don’t ask me. I’ve never known. I wasn’t one to be loved, just one to be treated as if I’d break.
So don’t ask me what love is. I have never, and will never, know.
I fight alone. I walk alone. I exist alone. No one will ever love me. Ever.
I used to think that was the one and only truth. Before he came into my life and ruined it.
Bandits never worried me. I was a fighter, a warrior; I could’ve handled ten at a time. But they didn’t send just ten, they sent their whole clan.
I didn’t have any money. It didn’t matter to them; they wanted me for what I was worth.
A slave.
I swore to myself long ago that I would never return to that trade, and here they were, trying to capture me, send me back. I wasn’t going to forgive them for that.
I don’t recall exactly what happened, one moment I was battling a foul looking one, and the next, I had been stabbed. In the shoulder.
The wound wasn’t deep, but it was the blade. It had been seeped in poison, tainted. I couldn’t survive against something like that.
I was dizzy, hurt, and extremely angry. At myself, if not with those filthy bandits. I felt my mask yanked off and heard a mummer of delight. They liked my face. I would fetch a high price.
Heh. I wouldn’t go without a fight.
There were too many of them. I felt my wrists being tied up. They wouldn’t hear a single whimper from me.
I was dragged up, and a cloth was forced into my mouth. They were just in the process of blindfolding me when the bandit nearest me got an arrow embedded in his arm.
It was almost humorous, the way they acted like frightened sheep, wildly looking around for the attacker. They didn’t even realize I already had my dagger out and was working on the ropes.
“Who’s there?” growled the head bandit, unsheathing his sword.
Fwoosh was the answer, as another arrow made itself at home in his arm.
“Let her go,” a voiced called from the trees.
I could’ve laughed, the way the entire group was panicking. They flocked around their fallen leader, flapping like a bunch of terrified hens. Cut off the head, and the body will die sooner or later. This group was already a corpse.
In the next few minutes, all the bandits had either been shot with arrows, or had fled in terror. And by that time, I had already spat out the gag and cut loose the ropes.
“Are you alright?” I head a voice say anxiously by my arm.
“Fine,” I replied coldly, finally working off the ropes and tossing them in the direction of my so-called “rescuer.”
“But…you’re hurt,”
“I’m fine. I can take of myself, you know,” I replied, turning around and glaring at him.
I had expected a dark, hooded mystery. But what greeted me was as far from that as could be.
He was short, barely taller than I was, and he had flaming red hair, wild and untamed, which he tied back with a thin ribbon. His face was slightly freckled, light enough so you couldn’t see unless you looked closely, which I realized with a start that I was doing. His eyes, they were the most peculiar color. They were hazel, with speckles of gold in them.
He was wearing simple warrior clothes, and armed with a carved bow, a quiver on his back. In his hand he held an arrow, fletched with the feathers of a hawk.
But the most mysterious, most curious thing about his was…that he wore a smile. Not a jeering smile, a kind, gentle smile, one that made the edges of his eyes crinkle. You didn’t seem many people like that in this type of wild land.
I was intrigued.
He laughed slightly. “Alright, my warrior princess, then what were you doing bound and gagged?”
“None of your business. I could’ve handled them all on my own.” I muttered as I started to walk away.
He followed.
“So says your wound,” he replied sarcastically.
“My wound is-” I gasped suddenly at the sharp pain in my shoulder.
“Not fine.” he said anxiously. “Let me check it out.”
“No!” I snapped. “I can take care of myself.” I gripped my aching shoulder and inspected it. The poison was turning the skin there a nasty shade of black.
“If you say so,” he sighed, and turning around, walked away.
“Good riddance,” I muttered to myself.
I found a small grove of trees where there was an efficient amount of shade and rested there, cleansing my wound with water from a nearby stream. It started to hurt more and more, and the pain was starting to affect me. The sun beat down mercilessly, and even the shade did no good. I couldn’t identify the poison, and so did not know which antidote to use. It started to hurt. A lot.
I don’t know, but I think I almost passed out when suddenly a pair of cool hands lifted me up. I lashed out feebly.
“Wait…it’s ok. Just me,” murmured a voice.
It was a familiar voice. His voice.
I growled softly. “Get away from me!”
“No, no. I’m here to help. Here, eat this,” and he forced something rough down my throat. I gagged at the pungent taste.
“Are you trying to kill me?” I sputtered, choking and gasping for air.
“I don‘t need to. The poison is already doing its work,”
I opened one eye and glared at him.
“What are you doing here?” I demanded.
“Saving your life yet again,” he retorted. “That poison in the blade, I’ve seen it before. It’s quite rare down here, only seen up in the mountains. I went and fetched the antidote.” And he stuffed more of that disgusting stuff down my throat.
“Aack!”
“Eat it! It will help your immune system cleanse out the poison.”
I swallowed it despite the taste and glared up at him.
He merely smiled.
So, from then on, we traveled together.
Correction: I traveled where I pleased and he tagged along. Turns out he was lost, the idiot.
He…taught me things. He knew a lot about herb and plant lore, and he had a way with animals. He was very gentle, and the birds would flock around him, while I would glare at them sourly. I refrained from using my blade to knock some sense into him occasionally, but only just.
Days passed, and we were walking through some dangerous terrain, where bandits and other ugly and unpleasant things lurked. He was going on about some flower he had just found a few miles back, when he suddenly stopped and stood very still.
“Listen,” he said.
I tilted my head. What were we listening for?
And then I heard it, a terrified scream a little ways ahead. It sounded like someone was in trouble.
“Let’s go,” he said, and had started running before I’d registered what was going on.
The scene we came across was devastating. A wagon lay broken, all its contents scattered everywhere, and a young girl was crying over the bodies of her slain parents. It was horrible, but I remained impassive. It was none of my concern.
Bandits had surrounded them, and were advancing, intent on the loot in the wagon.
“Wake up, wake up!” the girl was screaming, sobbing over the bodies. “Please, wake up and stop them!”
He was staring at the scene with a look of disbelief and anger etched across his face.
He turned to me. “Well, aren’t you going to help her?” he asked.
I think my mouth fell open. I had never heard of such a ludicrous idea in my life.
“I don’t think so,” I growled, and turned away, ready to go, but he caught my arm.
“Look at the girl,” he said. “She’s about to be killed. Don’t you have any feelings whatsoever?”
I was taken aback by the remark, but my decision was still the same. “No, now let me go.”
“Fine,” he said. “If you can stand around and let an innocent be killed, then so be it. “
I cocked my head. “So you're not going to help her?” I asked with a raised eyebrow.
He smiled without warmth, “Actually, I think this is your battle.”
“What do you mean?” I demanded, but he merely turned away, walking back.
I glanced desperately over at the girl, who had stopped sobbing, but was now looking at the bandits in terror. One of them advanced, knife in hand. He smirked wickedly.
I glanced at where he had retreated, the forest concealing him so that only his flaming locks were visible.
I bit my lip.
The girl was now pressed against the overturned wagon, looking urgently from side to side, hoping to see an escape. The bandits closed up their circle more.
It was as if he was mocking me, daring me to leave her like that.
I growled under my breath. “Idiots,” I muttered, and ran forward, blade in hand.
For one thing, the element of surprise was on my side. The bandits sure didn’t expect me, and these were mere thieves. They didn’t stand a chance.
He suddenly appeared by my side after the last bandit had ran.
“That’s what I thought,” he said softly. I didn’t answer.
There was a small village a little ways ahead, and we dropped the girl off there, along with as many of her possessions as we could find.
“Thank you,” she said timidly, her eyes downcast.
I suddenly felt a burst of sympathy towards her.
“It’s going to be alright,” I said. “Just…hold on.”
She nodded meekly.
I turned to go, heading towards where he was waiting in the woods, but I suddenly felt a small tug on my tunic.
“Here,” she said. “Take this.” And she placed a single white lily in my hands.
My eyes opened with surprise, and I opened my mouth to thank her, but she had already run off into the village.
When I returned to where he was waiting, I was lost in thoughts, admiring the beauty of the lily. I held it up, marveling at how it caught the light. He reached over and gently took it out of my hands. Working with nimble hands, before I could protest, he tied the lily into my hair.
“See,” he said with a smile, “Now its beauty is enhanced by yours.”
I resisted the urge to punch him in the face.
That night, it began to snow. The flakes drifted down to earth like miniature wings of fallen angels. The snow came early this year, and it quickly wrapped the world up in a soft white blanket. We found a small grove of trees to rest for the night, and started up a crackling fire. The small flakes of ice fell slowly, landing delicately around us. I couldn’t resist, I loved the snow. I got up and tilted my head, trying to drown my face in snowflakes. The bits of ice numbed my face, but I loved it. I couldn’t help myself. I jumped up and tried catching the snowflakes. A small wind blew in, scattering the falling snow everywhere. Unconsciously, my feet fell into the dance I learned as a child, a danced passed on in my tribe for eons. A dance known only by me now. I danced with the snow, arms raised to catch the flakes. This was the most content I had felt in ages. Without notice, the tie in my hair fell out, and ebony locks tumbled out. I didn’t care. This was fun. Finally, as the wind died down and the snowfall lessened, I returned to the fire, glowing with contentment. I heard a small chuckle and immediately turned and glared at him, a threat in my eyes.
“I’m sorry,” he amended. “But you should let down your hair more often. It looks good like that.”
I continued to glare.
“That was amazing, where did you learn that?”
My back stiffened. The question brought back painful memories. “Clan,” I said shortly.
He raised an eyebrow. “Your clan?”
I nodded stiffly. I didn’t want to remember.
“I would love to meet them,” he said.
“Can’t,” I whispered hoarsely, the memories invading painfully. “They’re all dead.”
His smile wiped off his face. “What happened?” he asked.
I stayed quiet. If I talked, the tears would come. After all these years, I still couldn’t let go.
I didn’t look over at him, but despite that, the words tumbled out over each other, as if they couldn’t be released soon enough.
“They were murdered,” I whispered, my voice already choked. “All of them. It was a blood feud. A war between clans that started long, long ago. So long that no one knew the cause anymore. The leader of my clan, my father, he wanted peace. Didn’t everyone? So he asked for a treaty, and the other side agreed. We met on neutral land and decided that ending the war would be best. But there were traitors everywhere, and in the dead of night, the leader of the other clan was murdered. By one of our own. They used my dagger, and so everyone, even my own clan, though they wouldn’t admit it, thought I did it. Why shouldn’t they? I couldn‘t explain how it got there, and no one would believe me.”
Here I had to stop, the recollections too painful to voice aloud. He didn’t say anything, so I took a shuddering breath and went on.
“The heir to the other clan, he was devastated. He was around the same age as me, and we both wanted peace. Unknown to our clans, we had snuck out as many times as possible and met, getting to know each other. We were so young then. We made plans on how to get our clans to meet, to sign a treaty. We wrote our own treaties, but never had the courage to show them to our elders. The idea of peace, though long sought, was ridiculous. But we were stubborn, and decided that peace would one day come. So we taught each other of our cultures, exchanged information, and…we had fun. It may sound crazy, but in the midst of the war, we shared good times. We did impressions of stuffy generals on both sides, and I remember laughing so hard I was unable to breathe because of his jokes.”
I buried my face in my hands; I could feel the tears threatening to come.
“We exchanged wares from our clans, and we slowly realized that our two worlds weren’t so different after all. Then we started to grow up, and the war affected us more. Everyday, we heard news of someone we knew dying out on the battles field. It sickened us. And so we decided to prepare ourselves. We taught each other fighting techniques from our own clans. He taught me how to properly handle a dagger in close combat, and I taught him the correct usage of bows and arrows. With this knowledge, we realized that someday, we might have to face each other on the battlefield. That’s when we made a pact. We were to never harm each other or ones that the other loved. It seemed like a brilliant idea at the time. As we grew older, however, the war became burdens on us. We were expected to make decisions, to help our sides win. The responsibilities came onto us, and so we couldn’t sneak out anymore. We saw each other less and less, until we stopped completely. The day we heard that a treaty was going to be signed, we were ecstatic. Like our childhood dreams, peace would finally come, and we could see each other again…How wrong we were.”
I couldn’t cry. Not after all these years. I could hear the fire crackling merrily. It did nothing to comfort me.
“The clans were in chaos after what had happened. Our enemies were furious, and of course the treaty was off. Our clan left the neutral land immediately afterwards, returning to our own territory to plan our next move. I was devastated. Not only did our enemies think I had committed murder, but my own clan, my own father did, too. And the fact that the treaty, the peace I had so longed for, was called off, most likely because of me, that just hurt more. I didn’t even want to see hisreaction, not after our pact, our shared memories, our friendship. It would shatter my heart. They attacked a few weeks later, their army coming in the dead of night, destroying us any way they could. And they succeeded. Our army wasn’t as big as theirs was, and they were ruthless, driven by revenge. I survived, but only just. He wanted me alive, but not for the reasons I had hoped. After his father’s death, the leadership role fell onto him, and the one who ordered the death of my entire clan was he. He didn’t know that I wasn’t the murder. He only wanted revenge, he wanted me captured and humiliated. He wouldn’t even talk to me, and I was forced into the servant ranks as a slave. Their clan was disgusted by me, and so all the hard work was put to me. I endured it, and hated him for it all the time. I don’t think I ever saw him again.”
I took a deep breath. I had never told anyone that before. I didn’t know if he’d believe me. No one else ever did.
But he didn’t laugh, didn’t even comment.
“Then how did you get here?” he asked gently.
“Escaped,” I said, my voice muffled. “I managed to, somehow. And I ran as far away from there as I possibly could. I’ve trained, and now I’m strong enough to go back and take revenge. He’ll die by my hands.”
“Terrible,” he said softly. “What he did was terrible, but revenge is not the answer.”
I looked up. I never expected a response like that. “How come?” I growled.
“Well, look at it this way. Your clans have been fighting for so long, and because of one misunderstanding, a peace so desired fell apart. All these generations, they’ve all been making the same mistakes. One side does something offending, the other side takes revenge, and that causes more deaths to be avenged, which in turn does the same. That’s what’s been happening. Someone has to let go, they have to break this unending cycle and forgive. Trust and forgiveness, it’s all it takes.”
I looked at him sadly. He didn’t understand. “But it’s more than I can give…” I whispered.
“But there is goodness inside you, inside everyone. We just have to look deeper. There’s a small flame of hope within you that has not yet been extinguished. You still want peace.”
“No, there isn’t,” I growled. How could he think that? After all that…
“But I’ve seen it,” he replied. “When you saved that girl, you didn’t want her to die, did you?”
I looked away. The tears threatened to burst forth again, but I couldn’t show any weakness.
I started when I felt his hand on my arm.
“It’s okay,” he said.
“I don’t want to,” I choked out, but the tears that started said otherwise.
So we traveled again. We both knew what I was searching for. But somehow I had a feeling that he was going to prevent me from taking my revenge.
Days later, as we crested a hill in a barren land, we came across the remnants of a bloody battle. It seemed that one army had defended the land and had chased away the invaders. But at a high cost. The winners didn’t seem too well off, either. He immediately started down the hill, intent on helping the survivors. I wasn’t as enthusiastic. I had no business here, and this will only delay us. I walked slowly across the battlefield, surveying the destruction. Again, memories surged forth of a similar scene so many years ago, when the clans were at war.
“Tally the damages,” I heard a voice say a little ways off. It sounded familiar, but I was probably just being paranoid. The battlefield brought forth too many unpleasant memories.
I turned around, and froze. I wasn’t being paranoid.
There he was, after all these years. Him. I glanced around. No one else seemed to pay attention to us. This was my chance. I unsheathed my dagger, the one that he had taught me to wield all those years ago. My revenge was so close.
But the fates wouldn’t allow it that easily. He turned around just as I lunged, and dodged too quickly for me to catch.
“You!” he said, eyes wide.
“Think you’d be rid of me?” I growled, and lunged again. This time he was ready. He unsheathed his own dagger, and parried me, move for move. But I wouldn’t give up that easily. Even if I were killed, I’d take him with me.
This must’ve been a fight between his clan and another one. He was already weakened with the battle, so I’d have a good shot.
I blocked him, and suddenly, I saw my chance and took it. I dodge his lunge, and my dagger dug into his arm. He winced in pain and clutching it, jumped away from me. I was about to finish him off when a call snapped my concentration.
“No! Don’t!”
I turned around. He was running over towards us, his flaming locks tussled.
My momentary lack of concentration gave him a perfect chance to knock my dagger out of my hand, and he did. I spun around to face him, and jumped back, cursing. Without a weapon, I didn’t stand a chance.
He reached my side, panting.
“Don’t do it,” he said through gritted teeth. “What if all this were just one big misunderstanding? How would you feel if you killed without reason?”
“But it isn’t! And I won’t kill senselessly. I have plenty of reasons to kill him.”
“Fine,” he said. “It that’s what you want, so be it. I can’t talk sense into you. Here,” he handed me his bow and a single arrow. “Take my bow. Use it wisely.”
“What?” I didn’t get what he was saying.
He shrugged off his quiver, and crossed to where he was and stood directly in front of him.
I understood now.
“Get out of the way,” I growled. “This is between me and him,”
“No,” he said, still standing before a bewildered looking prince. “If I have to die to end a horrible feud, then I’m willing to do it.”
“What are you talking about? As soon as I finish him off, it’ll all be over!”
“No, it won’t! Think about how his clan will react once you’ve killed their prince. You’ll be hunted down, and everyone you come in contact with could be endangered! The only way to stop a senseless war like this is to forgive!”
“No, no, no!” I yelled, tears coming to my eyes despite myself. He didn’t understand. Everyone I’ve loved, they were all murdered in front of my eyes by him. I couldn’t let him live.
Yet, a part of me knew that perhaps, he could be right.
I notched his bow and aimed it at him. If he just moved, I would have a perfect shot.
“I’m warning you! Get out of the way!”
“No,” was his quiet answer.
Without warning, tears poured down my face. I didn’t care. I was so close.
“Fine,” I whispered.
And I let the arrow fly.
I had expected him to dodge out of the way, to jump to the ground.
But he didn’t. I guess…he couldn’t.
Instead, he flung out his arms and stepped right in the arrow’s path, and it hit. Directly.
“No,” I whispered. He didn’t.
“No, no. You idiot!” I cried, running to where he had fallen.
It pierced his heart. I had killed him with his own weapon.
“Now, do you see?” he gasped as I reached him, kneeling by his side.
Hot tears streamed down my face.
“Yes, yes, I do! I always have! You didn’t have to die!”
“But you needed to realize it, princess,” he said, with that smile of his. “At least this wasn’t in vain.”
I grabbed his hand.
“Please, please, don’t die! I didn’t want to kill you!”
“But you didn’t want to kill him, either.”
He was right, as always. A part of me never wanted to take revenge, to kill my prince.
“No,” I whispered.
He gave a slight gasp of pain, and I clutched his hand harder.
“Don’t you dare leave me!”
“It’s ok. He’ll take care of you,” and he inclined his head to where he was, staring at us with a look of shock etched on his face.
I held his hand to my heart. I never realized how much I didn’t want him to go.
“You idiot,” I whispered.
“I know,” he said with a smile.
I understand now. Everything he said turned out to be true. Maybe he was like my guardian angel.
Love isn’t that hard to understand. Everyone can love. It’s just a matter of finding the one to love.
Because in the end, the difficulty is not so great as to die for someone, than to find someone worth dying for.
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All I can say is…O.o No way did I write that. I don’t know if it’s bad or good. I don’t even know how I came up with that. And the length! I must’ve been crazy. At first, this really stumped me. Love isn’t something to be drawn or written about lightly. You have to get in and really grasp the raw emotion behind it. Love is probably the closest thing we have to magic.
So first, I thought, well, let’s see if I’m able to draw this. But, the problem was, I didn’t know who to draw. I thought about maybe drawing Kadaj because he is absolutely adorable, but then…who do I draw him with? Maybe a giant tub of greenish jello-like substance? (Ahaha. “Mother!”) No. That would never work.
And then I thought, why do I have to draw it? This challenge does include stories and poems. For one, I love good poetry, but I really didn’t want to put up one of my poems (yet), so I guess writing a story was my only choice.
I really didn’t want to write any stories based off mangas or books because I wanted this first entry to be all original. So, this plot plopped into my head and refused to go until I wrote it down. And this is how it turned out. I guess it isn’t one of my worst ones, but I’m not even sure if it’s good or not.
With the characters...Well, I suppose my red haired angel was based off Kenshin. I really did half expected him to pop out with an “Oro?” once in a while. ^^jj “Prince Charming” wasn’t based off anyone, really. I wasn’t even planning on including him originally, but I guess he sauntered in and refused to budge. And, my warrior maiden is also not based on anyone, but in the end she rather resembled Turquoise from MP.
My first shot. And I’m not even sure how it turned out. I slaved over this, making sure every sentence, every word, every syllable sounded right. Comment away, and please review and point out any mistakes or typos. All advice, suggestions, and constructive criticism are greatly appreciated. heart
(Note: Don’t steal this story, or you will have several sharp objects embedded in your skull)
ShadowFire Kitsune · Tue Aug 29, 2006 @ 02:19am · 3 Comments |
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