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Chill
9/23/2011
The chill air skirted across my skin, making me shiver slightly as it raked its way through my hair next and across my cold cheeks after. It enveloped me like a blanket, one far from warm and cozy. I felt suffocated, immobile, frozen in time and space. No one was aware of the battle raging within me, the anguish and pain that flowed from my pores…the silent tears invisible upon my face, yet flowed nonetheless.
My eyes remained down casted, unable to look up, to see the world around me, only the ground, dark and damp beneath my feet. The cement as gray as I felt inside. Shuffling passed me by in my slow, monotonous pace. The chill was after me every step of the way, taunting, hurting, and shaming me. I could never escape its grasp, as both it and I knew. My hands had long been numbed and my face and feet were soon following. The shivers worse and racketed my body. I could hear the faint clatter of my teeth clinking together, yet I could not feel them, my face now completely numb.
My movements never quickened, for I could barely move. I was being frozen in that one spot, that place where the cold was my enemy, my everything. How I longed to break free! To run and jump, to be warm! How much I yearned to look up and see the faces of others and for my own to crack a smile! Yet…it seemed I was destined for none of this. The bleakness, the cold sorrow had too strong a grip on me.
The time seemed to have dragged on forever, never ceasing, as did the relentless cold. Till…I felt a blockage in my path. The chill fled from my body and everything brightened. The shroud that was placed over my head, my world was lifted completely off. I felt it flutter away in the wind, the wind I could no longer feel. My eyes blinked and lifted from the ground, moving up, up, and up even still. A figure was before me, a form blacked out by the sunlight behind. The light that I hadn’t noticed was there till now. I saw the figure’s mouth move, forming a gentle and warm smile. I melt at that precise moment, my body warm and lucid. There was no chill about me, only that blanket of warm, of happiness. It was happiness I felt, and love. More emotions than I could handle.
I felt empowered at that moment, limp, but empowered. I had defeated the cold and escaped it grasps. But, even I know in my thawing heart that it always will find its way back to me or I to it. I just hope my blanket of happiness will be there for me when I need it most.
At that thought, I closed my eyes, in the arms of my beloved warmth. A slow, sound cradled me as I drifted off…:
Let the wind carry me away
Take me to a better day.
Where time is my friend
Oh, never may it end.
The emptiness I feel within
Let it be filled again and again
With warmth and happiness.
Please, forgive my selfishness.
The sound of all I hear
Soften the touch and make eyes clear.
It’'s all I cry out for, all I need
Cold, leave, don’t make me bleed.
Don’t make me bleed…...
Don’t make me cry…...
Don’t make me lie…...
Don’t make me cold…...
Empty…...
Alone…...
Never...…alone…...
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Side Note:
Wrote for profile....I blame the rain for the depressive state of this and my profile.
Song: vid on profile
 Zakchaios · Sat Sep 24, 2011 @ 03:03am · 0 Comments |
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It started the moment I walked out the stale building. I was immediately surrounded by a calming force. That force...how should I put it for you to understand my feelings, my state of mind?
The wind blew over me, chilling yet peaceful. It seeped into my body like cold fingers but radiated within me a warm, comforting fire that spread throughout my body like a soothing warm drink. I immediately relaxed, flowed down the walk, not in a rush to get anywhere even though I had somewhere to be, people to see, things to do. There was no urgency for me then. None at all. I stayed in that wind, feeling it play with my hair, brush kisses across my lips, cheeks, nose, and forehead. I smiled, warmed and comfortable.
My mind went from chaotic mess of thoughts, urgency to get things done, get to places in time to the soothing hum of a peaceful tune. One that my Gramamma used to sing to me when I was younger. I thought I forgot that lullaby of old, yet it came back to me clearly and gave me that sense of home, of love. I swayed as I walked, the words flowing through my head, making my body keep to its light rhythm.
I slowed and watched the others pass by, moving quicker than ever before to get out the wind. They talked faster and motioned like their lives were ending and here I was, slowly advancing down the steps toward the building right in front of me. Someone passed me, leaving a rush of wind to hit my left side. I hardly turned my head before he was gone. I wanted to ask: "Why the hurry? Why be so eager, anxious to have the world go by faster?" Take a step at a time, you'll get there and see lots more on the way.
Yet, I don't blame them for wanting to rush, to see and do things all at once. I know the pressures of the world as much as the next person. Yet, I'll slow down from time to time...no worries.
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Sadness not intended if there was any. Saw this kick-a** spider web on the way to class...awesome.
Song: Voices off of Macross Plus
Zakchaios · Mon Sep 19, 2011 @ 07:08pm · 0 Comments |
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