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I feel really sick. It's that twisted sick that comes from depression, worry, and stress. The type that gnaws at your throat and stomach, but won't let you cry. It's almost as if I want to justify it, or wipe it out with something worse so I can cry. But the problem isn't my own.
It's my friends. And I cannot do anything about my friends life. I cannot take action. I cannot stand up for them. I cannot pry information, or hold them in my arms, or defeat their fears.
This is a cruel world. It will run over any and all who stand.
At least that is what I'd like to think. The truth is, it's not the world, but the heigarchs of humanity. I hate them. I hate them with a passion so strong if I had a gun I would kill them all. Hell to going to jail, Hell to someone reading this and reporting it. I would do it if it eased the suffering of my friends.
A long time ago I proclaimed myself over-protective of my friends, well here you go world. This is me finally pissed off at all the pain they suffer through.
I swear, one day I WILL find all of my friends. And I WILL be strong for them, even if I can only manage it once.
-Jessica Ann Alexander
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