Wow... 11 more days and it'll be the 11th anniversary without you. I thought about you tonight because I was fangirling to someone about the Country Bears and they sort of wigged out and logged off... and it made me remember how we would have stayed up talking about it and listening to the tracks. It made me realize... I still miss you. ._. Then I looked at the calendar and realized our old anniversary is next week... and that I'm going to spend it on Elder Scrolls of all games. Granted, I won't be alone- I have a boyfriend. But... Well, I just hope I don't get overwhelmed with tears while making a Kahjit on our old anniversary... I'm not saying that I'm not excited to play with him- I am. I just still also sometimes miss you... Especially on nights like this, when I've tried to talk to someone about something we loved just to have them turn me away. And even if my boyfriend was awake right now, I still wouldn't really be able to talk to him about the CBJ. He's never been to a Disney park and we're never going back with how the parks stand now. Even if we did and we took him, the CBJ is no longer the same. They essentially died last year. They're forever an "us" memory in my mind now because they're not really there now to make new memories with someone else for me... I can't say I really like that. Because I think of you whenever I'm watching and hear "Tears Will Be The Chaser For Your Wine" and "Heart, We Did All That We Could"...
I miss you pretty bad right now... I can almost hear you doing a Henry impression and making me laugh... Hear us talking in bed for at least another hour about what we like or dislike about the show and why... You were my very best friend and one of the most painful lessons that life has taught me is that best friends aren't necessarily forever.
