Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

So, I felt the funny need to dress my avatar all pink for Valentine's Day. I've never really had a valentine before. Tomorrow will be my first one. =)

It's really kind of cheesy. I think this holiday is a silly excuse to be spoiled by someone else. But it's fun, I guess, and I might get chocolate. So. I hope yours is a good one. heart

Love,
Citron

So, I did it. I will be the Axe Major for 2007.

That's kind of funny. I wonder how many Axe Majors there are in the world. I'd definitely be the only one in California. mrgreen

Yup. So, my marching band is quite a unique one, up on the west coast. We are a scatter band. And tomorrow, I am running to become the leader of this said marching band. There is only one. How cool would that be.

Me, the Axe Major. How ******** sweet would that be.

I've been feeling not so good this past week, kind of. I don't really want to talk to anyone I know about it, I don't really know why. I just started my period for the first time in what seems like forever but was probably like a month, go figure. So I'm feeling a little down and tired.

And gah. Stupid brain. I'm a music major. I don't know what I want to be. My clarinet teacher is trying to push me onto a track, instead of just general music. And he's really trying to push me to be a teacher. A private clarinet teacher. That'd be okay, I guess. But it's not what I want to be. I don't want to be some random musician who teaches clarinet to little kids. I don't want to be near kids. They make me so nervous. And parents make me way more nervous. I know because I worked at a camp. There were some sessions where the parents came with girls, and I was so self-conscious. I don't know. I don't want to be just a teacher.

I just want to play music. I want to be a performer. But I have a feeling my teacher might not think I could do it. I'm painfully shy. But guess what, if I don't see anyone's face looking at me while I'm playing, it's not even a problem. I know from years of experience.

There's this girl who terrifies me, and I'm not sure why. She's a lot more experienced in playing, and she's an amazing clarinetist, way more than I could even try to be. She thinks about way different things than I think about and she says stuff and it makes me nervous. I don't really say stuff. When I play next to her I can't just play, I'm afraid of what she thinks of me playing. I'm just a stupid second-year clarinet student. What right do I have to even play next to her, I think sometimes.

Aw, the clarinet. Sometimes I really just want to make it sing and I can't. I suck and the only reason I'm in the symphony is because the two really good people left and I happened to be next in line.

I love the clarinet so much, of course it's the hardest wind instrument to sound good on. Of course every single player has a different timbre and tone and color and way of holding it and putting it in their mouth. It's so hard to figure out how to sound better. Each time I have a lesson I feel like my teacher is hiding the big picture from me, or maybe feeding me tiny little bits of it at a time.

I'm kind of excited to hear what I'll sound like later in life.

No, I'm really excited. My relationship with my clarinet is a lot like a personal relationship. My clarinet is my life partner. We will share some good times. =)

Later,
Citron

I am at home until the 9th. A seemingly short amount of time. But you know...I have nothing to do until then!

Commence in the Gaia madness!!!

Or...your SOUL! surprised

http://kevan.org/johari?name=Jejund

So I got all A's.

Weee. Not even any A-'s or anything. Hells yes. First time having a 4.0 in a loooong time.

So yes. I rule the world with my awesome grades.

Just had to post this everywhere. Oo ha ha.

Stephanie

When you close your eyes, and then press your eyes with your palms, do you see swirling checkers?

Just look!

http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/20501809/