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Reflections Part 3: Judgement |
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What is life all about. The answer to that question is a pretty tall order. Is there one answer that I think is universal for everyone? Is there a goal that every person seeks to achieve? My response to this is no. There has never been an agreed upon goal for mankind.
Is there something that we should be trying to do? My answer to that is no as well. The word "should" implies that there is a judgement made. As one person, I don't think my judgement could stem from all of the information necessary to be properly be able to evaluate something like that. I think that this is a fault that we often have is that we as humans attempt to judge one another when in reality we have no authority to do so. Nothing makes us more right or wrong than anybody else when it comes to beliefs or personal goals.
Are there agreed upon rules that we all abide by? Well thinking about most of the world the answer to that is yes. Since the dawn of civilized society we have created rules whether written or unspoken that apply to everyone. This is apparent by the Code of Hammurabi, the Ten Commandments and the eventual philosophical theories of the social contract or mutual agreement.
What are these rules? Well this is a tougher question to answer. Most people will start with the basics... "don't kill", "don't steal", etc. After these, the idea of basic rules will quickly turn into judgments. Even within these rules there are rooms for ambiguity. Abortion, Robin Hood, The Crusades. No matter how you feel about those and many other things there are grey zones with even the most basic of rules we impose.
Well who cares. What does this mean? What this means gets back to the point that I was making earlier. In life we make a lot of judgement about how things should be or how things could be or would be. These are all presumptuous. What I mean by this is that, generally, when we say these things (should, would or could) we are looking into the past or future and thinking about an ideal outcome. More than likely it is an ideal outcome for oneself.
Examples:
"Well, that person should moved faster before the red light I would have made my turn"
"I could have done better on that test if I had studied more"
"Things would be so perfect if this person just did _______ (fill in the blank)"
Where does these get us?
The answer is no where.
Should have, would have, could have, statements are all nice to think of, or at least comforting but they are irrelevant. Why? For one they are in the past or future. As far as I know time travel isn't possible, at least with modern technology and therefore anything that has happened in the past can never be changed. Reflecting on how the past could or should or would have been becomes irrelevant because all we are doing is comparing our own expectations to what really happened.
Reality is what matters. We need to learn from the reality of the past and move on with our lives. Don't dwell in the past when you live in the present.
Thinking of an ideal future can also pointless because we aren't there yet. Again, we live in the present so move at the pace of time and eventually we will get there. Having goals for ourselves is good but this leads into my last point...
Thoughts of should have, would have, could have are irrelevant when they involve other people. Getting back to a point I made earlier, your feelings on how things ought to be might be very different than another persons'. Therefore it may not be wise to impose your judgement on others when they may not value or think the same way you do.
To quickly bring this back to goals, most of our goals will involve other people in some way shape or form. It's nice to think of the ideal but don't expect things to always go your way.
You shouldn't judge others because as humans we do not have the knowledge to make an informed decision to how things ought to be: what is right and what is wrong.
Be more open and understanding towards others. Live your life to the fullest and try to make yourself as happy and healthy as you can without having to restrict or limit someone else. Learn from the past, live in the present and look forward to the future. Perhaps these should be the goals for mankind...
...but then again these are just my judgments
NOTE TO THE AUTHOR: editing may be required xp
 Royallegacy · Tue Feb 28, 2012 @ 04:10pm · 0 Comments |
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Reflections Part 2.1: The Times |
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I was thinking lately (as I usually do) and a song crossed my mind with lyrics that went similar to this:
"And you couldn't understand my frame of mind
And if, [kids] think I changed then blame the time"
Life is constantly in flux. Everything is changing around you whether it be people, places or things. When it come to places and things the changes can be very overt and in your face. You will notice when a building is under renovation and updated. People on the otherhand may not seem like it but are constantly under renovation. Every day people take in information about their environment and the situations that arrise within it.
People are immensely complex creatures. There is a large section of the population that will make decisions that are in their best interest with little mind paid to other people. This idea about human nature has led theorist to posit that selfishness is what drives us. Other theories can be loosely connect to this such as the idea that people will seek gratifying situations and avoid those that can be harmful. If people are constantly doing this there is bound to be some conflict between one person's interests and another. However there is an idea that very small segment of the population will act in ways that do not promote their personal best interest (all of the time) but will allow other people to be happy and prosper. This idea was coined by Abraham Maslow in his Heirarchy of Needs and called it "Self-Actualization"
Self Actualization (as per Maslow) describes a person who:
- Embraces reality and facts rather than denying truth.
- Is spontaneous.
- Are "focused on problems outside themselves." (As I had talked about before)
- They "can accept their own human nature in the stoic style, with all its shortcomings," are similarly acceptant of others, and generally lack prejudice.
Arguabley a person that is self actualized will be a more productive member of society and will create a happier and healthier society since they will look to facilitate other people rather than stepping on them. They will bite the bullet and take an unpleasant situation as it can make other people's lives happy. Fear not. Being self-actualized doesnt mean that you have to constantly be in a bad situation.
Goal Theory asserts that there are generally two types of people:
Performance Oriented and Learning Oriented
Performance oriented individuals (as the theory and research has shown) will often take the easy way out. Performance oriented people are interested in the end result rather than the process to get there and would like to see achievement in what they do. An example of this would be a person from Germany coming over to America and taking a German 101 course in college. They could easily challenge themself but they choose to take the easy course because they know they will do well.
Learning Oriented people are quite different. Where as the result may be important to a learning oriented person it is the process to get to that result that interests them. They will seek training and classes that challenge them and allow them to learn new things.
People who are learning oriented may take a little more pleasure in self-actualization since they will learn something about themselves, others or anything else for that matter. Constantly looking to better yourself is a good path to take. If you learn something even from a bad situation then you are moving forward
Work together with the people around you to promote your own and other people's happiness. Don't push people away in times of crisis or uncertainty. Those times more than any other are the times where people should be together. Keep communicating with people since communication is the key to building any relationship. Seek to better yourself from every interaction.
Dont fear change... use it.
Royallegacy · Wed Aug 24, 2011 @ 11:57am · 0 Comments |
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Reflections Part 1.2: Winston, Julia and Love |
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It is really funny how hidden away these journal entries can be.
I just finished reading the book 1984 by George Orwell. A truely impressive peice of work. Probably reflecting back on what I said earlier and what has been going on in life recently.
Winston and Julia have an interesting relationship
In the book Winston is a character that seems more intellegent. Smart in sense of theory. With a more worldly perspective Winston views the problems of society at a large macro level. Seeing the Party (political leaders in the story) as the direct cause for pain and suffering. Winston often talks elaborately to Julia about his experiences and how they relate to the hipocracies, lies and degradation perpetrated by the Party.
Julia on the other hand is smart but in a different sense. Julia is street smart. While she is against the Party much like Winston she doesn't see the Party itself as being changeable like he does. To her the Party is irremovable. Instead Julia seeks to rebel in little ways like breaking the rules and then getting away with it. When Winston talks to her at length about the Party and what they are doing Julia often falls asleep and pays little attention. Julia isnt concerned with broad theoretical ideas, philosphy, psychology or any of the sciences.
However Winston and Julia love each other. They talked about having children and try very hard to be together. Winston constantly thinks about her and from what Julia says within the story, she constantly thinks about him. Despite their differences they both appreciate eachother for who they are and take safety in knowing that their one important similarity: their opposition to the party, is what binds them.
Spoiler Alert:
Towards the end of the story Julia says to Winston that she had betrayed him. That they had done something so aweful to her that she gave him up. Winston says that he had done the same. Julia says back that after having done that she doesnt feel the same way about him any longer and implies that they shouldnt be together.
Winston accepts this but nonverbally he still wants to be with her. While the Party had broken him he still feels the same way about her. He loved her before and will always love her.
Nonverbally Julia takes comfort in the idea of having Winston with her again. She doesnt resist him but she feels guilty for what she has done.
In the end they both part ways.
This is where I picked up my book and was saying to myself:
No! You both love eachother. You want desperately to be together again, to make things work out but you are pushing eachother away because of something you couldnt help. Despite the fact at the time they generally meant what they said, they both truely wanted to give eachother up (to avoid their worst fears of an unimaginable punishment), it was necessary for the time. Why wont you try again. Times change and people change.
I might just be hopeless romantic
Sometimes the events and things that are said and done between two people are inexcusable. But from my experiences its times like those that could have been avoided.. when your prior knowledge and experiences could have easily helped you avoid that situation. Its when things couldnt be helped.. when you are trying to avoid a large fear or worry, when you have no background in the subject to fall back on.. that's when forgiveness should be made. Your relationship can start anew. Perhaps not right back to the same level when it left off but it can always work back to that if both parties wished it to.
Relationships between people are important, whether it be friendship or anything more. People learn and grow from other people and its the connections that we make that help us thrive. Humanbeings are by nature social creatures. Dont push others away.
[It is] from the darkest sky that the light of the stars can best be seen, meaning that the most good is percieved when what came before it was bad.
I try to see the good in people.. I see their reasons for doing what they have done.. people are maleable: they can change.
Royallegacy · Mon Aug 22, 2011 @ 03:08am · 0 Comments |
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Its funny. I look back at all of my old gaia journel entries and kind of chuckle. The ammount of time i put in to trying to educate people despite the fact I knew it would rarely get seen. Its true when your young you think you can change the world and despite thinking you know everything you dont have the foresight to recognize the futility of some things. Even right now I know that the views for this entry are probably going to be near none.. if not exactly none. I guess my point is to preserve this for my own amusement, posterity and if any one does read to hopefully be inside of my head for a moment.
A lot of time has passed by with a lot of things that happened in my life.. a lot of disappointment but out of the negative i took positive. I always attempted to learn things from my bad experiences and especially from the mistakes that I made. I believe I'm a better person, far less negative, far more wise but far from perfect. I think I have a lot to offer people but hilariously feel like a diamond in the rough that hasnt been allowed to shine. I think of the Fox series "Wilfred" (since I just started to watch it) where the main character is about to commit suicide and writes this message saying that he feels like a diamond in the rough.. the show is a lot funnier than that though and kind of pokes fun at the broad brush stroke that a phrase like that is in trying to summarize one's life.
In the end there were some interesting quotes about life that I wanted to share. One (since I'm in a slightly negative mood) is:
"Trust thy self only, and another shall not betray thee." - Thomas Fuller
and while this is true what a horrible and hopeless life this would be. I've gone through plenty of experiences with plenty of people where I have felt like this may really be the case. Even the closest people you know.. the ones you care for.. the ones you want desperately to trust.. can betray. However forgiveness is a very important thing in life.
"Forgive [but do not forget]"
It is going to be nearly impossible for a humanbeing to forget what has been done to them. However by forgiving someone of the thing they have done wrong allows to turn around and rebuild a relationship with them if you both put yourselves out there to do so. While the relationship may not be as strong as it was before, it can also just as easily be stronger than it was. You now know more about yourself, about them and hopefully you can both appreciate eachother more.
This may be easier said than done based on the situation but by principle Forgiveness is a good thing to do. Holding animosity towards someone is in my opinion a waste of energy and (back to trying to learn about yourself and constantly better yourself) holds you and them back from becoming a better person.
Royallegacy · Mon Aug 22, 2011 @ 12:41am · 0 Comments |
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