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I WANT BUNNIES! scream

so thought i would put up some art im working on, want to start a avi art shop soon, but well see what happens

wow... so im the worst at keeping a journal...


its kinda funny looking back at all my old posts and reading the comments... i do need to put some work up... thinking about starting to do avi art again... my lil sis has been going on about it the last couple of days... (yes me and both of my 2 younger sisters draw)
its interesting how when you think of the past how you could have done things differently... would you have? the people you loved then, do you think you would love them now? do you think you changed that much? would you have changed for them?
just because i made myself ready all these old posts it threw up so many old emotions. there where only ever two people in this world i have met that i would have given the world to.
tho i was young and VERY foolish (tho i don't think dumb) Ian has to be the first person who made me feel the way he did... without even being there he had my heart from day one. my ex jeff i care about and love a great deal, s**t i still talk to him this day, hes a good guy... he just never gave me the same fuzzy light-headed gitty bliss that Ian did lol. sadly still to this day i have YET to meet anyone like him ^^
and then kevin, well he was the one person that was able to take my mind of Ian (tho not completely at first) but one of those with time loves. Kevin became my best friend and in that the one i saw to it i made happy. i moved across country to be by his side. tho in the end it was not ment to be. i still talk to him and we keep in contact, just seems we made better friends then boyfriend and girlfriend. oh well i wish him all the happiness in the world
i am seeing someone right now. i have known him for about a yr now almost and have been together for about 7+ months and he makes me happy yes... but we have our fair share of fights. i really like and care about him but he does not make me feel like i wanna give him the same dogged loyalty i gave Kevin. i don't know its its because i don't wanna get hurt again so i got give him my heart like i did for Kevin. and he makes me feel NOTHING like how Ian made me feel.
this is stupid of me to i should not be remember these people (Kevin yes since i still talk to him) but Ian, heh I'm sure hes forgotten all about me its been a couple of years now. s**t almost 5 years since i had met him... lol wow... i am such a tard... and its very stupid of me to hold on to the memory of him... i feel like I'm a crazy person... O_o s**t is that bad??? OMG I'm ganna have 20 cats living alone in a cabin with no phone and only the internet and a bottle of vodka... shoot me...

well long story short im back in cali, kevin wasnt "ready" to be set in. i dont blame him, hes only 22 and young still. sucks i really dont wanna be looking for someone that long. there was so much about him i truly loved and could have seen myself with him. yes there where problems but who doesnt have em?

its funny cause my sister asked me not to long ago how many times ive been in love with someone. it made me really have to stop and think about it. i love so many ppl, i have so much love to give but being IN love with someone it something total different. as i sat and thought about it, there really where only two different ppl that i truly would have done anything for.

kevin, my now ex but still really good friend. we still go to each other with our problems wether its about relationships family or just life. hell always hold a spot in my heart. it was fun getting to see a new place and really see how it is living with someone (like boy and girl together) something different for sure but nothing beats waking up the the someone you love so much morning after morning and falling asleep by thier side, arms wrapped around em. the best feelign in the word imo.

there was one other person, funny story kinda, i never met him but fell head over heels for him. he seemed to get me better then anyone i have ever met. i never met anyone like him then and to this day. i still compair the ppl i meet to standerds i some what set to shadow from him. he was perfect in my eyes. he had the most gorgous eyes and hair to die for. i still listen to a CD he made for me a long time ago from time to time. had one of the beats he made set as my ring tone xD
i wonder if i was so childish then and greedy or so mixed up in my own lil world to miss something that made it all turn around. i wish i could have changed it, no one had ment more to me at the time. and probly sad but still think about him from time to time. i guess he was the first person i really did love... as stupid as it sounds.

he was the reason when i started dating kevin to say ******** that to holding back! if you want it go for it!!! i kept pushing back my chance to get loser to the first that i missed out. i wasnt about to do the same thing to the next guy. so i up and moved across the country. i never regret anything i did with kevin besides not pulling him away from a stupid vidio game sooner. the damn thing became his ******** life...


(just out of boredem my short(er) hair and not a fro! though i have one taken the next day with a fro haha >____< i love my cruly hair some timed)

well im here in florida now, my new home sweet home and love it. kevin is the best and jesse, his brother/room-mate/best bud is cool to, funny a** hell when all the guys get together here. they all talk so much bull s**t it not even fun heh.

but yeah its sooo hot here WTF! i miss my cool california weather, i was hoping to live somewhere where it snowed... i love the snow and dont get to be in it much, but oh well im happy here. i can swim all i want
hehe

woot! im so happy! my hubby is coming down on the 13th, 9 days! he is ganna stay here with me and my family for a few days then both me and him are ganna drive back to florida on like the 18-19th together, where im ganna stay with him >_<

kwai~ im so exicted i cant wait! i loves my hubby bunches... though i do think its kinda soon to be moving in with him ((only been together for about 6 months)) but one of us had to move, and sadly i dont have much going on here for me and i always wanted to see new places and meet new people, and what better way.

well that and i cant go any long with out being with him! lil short visits from time to time are nice, but i need a guy who is always ganna be there for me, and he tells me that he wants to be the "one" that always takes care of me and always be there for me. so i cant complain, i want to baby him and take care of him ((cause him living on his own with his room-mate/brother like that.... well lets just say they dont cook much lol)) so i wanna kiss all his boo-boos he comes home with from work ((he does constrution)) i wanna make dinner for him, and play with his hair all night long >_< oh, plus the bonus of getting to "mess" with him well hes trying to raid well hes playing :world of warcraft: lawl ((<<thinks thats the best reason of all ^_^-))

okay so i thought that i wouldnt be so cought up in this game still after this long lol but hey after BC came out i was alll @___@ i HAVE to play! so yeah, im a lvl 70 horde mage xD but hey is all good. and the sad thing is i have a job at an internet cafe so all i do is play all day yay! even sadder is i think my boyfriend is even more hooked on the game then i am, its ganna be really weird when i move in with him come this next month. both him his cuz, his uncle and brother/room-mate/bestfriend and like 2-3 of there RL firends... and for some reason there all in the same guild too O_O well ecept for his cuz and uncle lol cause there total pain in the asses

so frostmane i will say... someone has to keep my hubby on his feet when hes playing... ummm does on the bed count too? <3 but yeah anyways wow is the best and i cant wait till i move, im moving far too yay! ON MY WAY TO FLORIDA
((from cali myself... hehe))