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If I've hurt anyone by not being online for so long, I'm sorry...

Trying to get what sorry excuse for a career goal I have going, got off my a** and got a bank account recently, though there's the risk of it being attacked by the b***h that hit me in the last car accident. Hey, it's impossible to live nowadays without being attatched to some kind of account. Our government and the morons whom ******** it up for the rest of us made sure of that. I'm not attatching that account to ANYTHING for a long while though... covering my sorry a**.

And that account will help me save enough money to get the ******** out of NJ, or at least Stanhope, in one sane piece.

I can't play like I used to be able to. Bills don't allow it, job doesn't allow it, extra work don't allow it, growing up doesn't allow it.

And aside from Teddy and the Gaia ongoing comic story, I've lost interest in Gaia. It bores me. My closest friends aren't even here in Gaia anymore, the friends I've known for a long long time online, or in real life. They're the ones that have really stuck through thick or thin in one way or another, and let me know one way or another if something I've said or done has pissed them off.

Anyway, I don't know exactly what the hell I'm going to do with this account. I may or may not 'sell' my items.. not like I'd really be losing anything of value since it's all just freaking PIXELS.


Whatever.. it doesn't matter. I'll go back to work now... neutral

Well this has been a week and a half of suck...

--- Can't find the stub from the money order I sent out to pay for my preregistration for AnimeNEXT

--- Mom bought a BIG a** bottle of Bacardi Gold and thought she could hide it form us in the kitchen closet

--- Robin coming over and giving us his bullshit story

--- Me deciding to take a night off from inking

--- Sliced my left thumb tip wide open with a damn box knife while working on the current custom

--- and now my body is suffering from BAD shock, far worse than the box knife cut shock, because stupid me SLAMMED MY ******** POINTER FINGER IN THE BACK DOOR OF THE VAN THIS MORNING!

Right up the first knuckle. Took half of the skin on the top right side off of the finger, half of the nail is white, its been bleeding like a b***h, the finger is swollen, I've thrown up once already and am still dizzy from the pain. And instead of an 'oh s**t, are you okay? Let me help you get that bandaged up.', I got a 'what? You hurt yourself again? I don't believe this! ******** moron! God, am I the only one in this ******** family who watches what the hell they're doing?'

Hello, a*****e, I'm bleeding, my body gone into shock, in a LOT of pain, and I'm lucky I didn't pass out and throw up ON YOU.

So... because I didn't want to deal with his bullshit, and you know steal away from his precious time fo the drive into work, all I did was stick my finger under cold running water at first, didn't even bother to clean it, grabbed a handful of bandaids and wrapped three around my finger, and held back the puke until we got to the deli. Thank God Roselita allows her customers to use the deli's bathroom and its right there, or she woulld have had a mess to clean up.

I'm at work now, I did finally clean up my finger and bandage it up propperly, but no bandaid. washed out with Dial soap, smothered in Neosporin, wrapped in gauze, and mummified in medical tape. It makes typing and using a mouse difficult, but I can ink and write and draw just fine, since my artist callus is on my ring finger and not my middle finger. My middle finger is my guiding finger, I guess you can say. Heh, it has so many uses. XP

But... nnn... if ever there was a time when I wish I could be with kuma, it's right now. Damn our jobs and the distance T3T.

~~Ellis

For any of you whom know whom Alec Stevens is, particularly if you went to Joe Kuberts...

Xavier, that means you.. X3

Lookie what I came across on youtube.com!

One of our old instructors from the Kubert school... ROCK ON, ALEC! X3

http://www.youtube.com/?v=Ie4ZAs6v7Bs

~~Ellis

I'm really wondering if I should leave Gaia...

I mean... life off line pulls me into some ridiculous BULLSHIT that makes me not even want to go online because 'OH NOES' someone might hear me talk about something or someone that is bugging the s**t out of me, then one person takes what they heard me say in expressing my own opinion BECAUSE SOMEONE OR SOMETHING IS BUGGING ME, tell someone else, whom then ******** BLABS it to the person whom is the one bugging me.. well in this case, more like ******** PISSING ME OFF AND HURTING MY FAMILY AND HER FRIENDS!

Don't worry I won't 'quit the internet'... I can only really contact the people I care about and love using the internet because its tood amn expensive to call anyone or ******** drive anywhere.

But like I said, off line BULLSHIT, which is started because ON LINE people can't keep their damn mouths SHUT, keeps me from even wanting to look at a screen or even risk running across said assholes. I'm tired. I'm worn out. Work and co-workers have been stressing me, I'm behind in my artwork, I RARELY GET TO TALK TO TEDDY BECAUSE OF THIS s**t, idiots are playing the wangsty he / she said woe is me because no body wuvs me CRAP cards, and seeing as that a LOT of this bullshit that's going on right now is caused by some backstabbing a** whom can't be trusted with someone's locked thoughts and its through locked posts...

I'm tired... very very tired.. I'm hurt.... and I know because of my being down like this, I've hurt others I promised very special things to or that I'd be around for them *I'm sorry Makasu and Tim and ESPECIALLY Teddy crying *.

Real life is just very SUCKING hard right now...

~~Ellis

*copies everyone else in Rat's X3* Okay okay, I said I wouldn't do this, buuuut.. I'm a sheep too ^^;.

Survey...
1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. How have I affected you?
5. What do you think of me?
6. What's the fondest memory you have of me?
7. How long do you think we will be friends or enemies?
8. Do you love me?
9. Have I ever hurt you?
10. Would you hug me?
11. Would you kiss me?
12. Would you marry me?
13. Emotionally, what stands out?
14. Do you wish I was cooler?
15. On a scale of 1-10, how nice am I?
16. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
17. Am I loveable?
18. How long have you known me?
19. Describe me in one word.
20. What was your first impression?
21. Do you still think that way about me now?
22. What do you think my weakness is?
23. Do you think I'll get married?
24. What about me makes you happy?
25. What about me makes you sad?
26. What reminds you of me?
27. What's something you would change about me?
28. How well do you know me?
29. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
30. Do you think I would kill someone?
31. Are we close?
32. Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you?

Wow, took me long enough to post in Teddy's and my RP story journal, but I finally did ^_^.

http://www.livejournal.com/community/kittynteddy_rp/

Theo finally realisez he's NOT in his own clothes... someone has stripped him down to heal him and gave him new clothes for the moment. And we start to see juuust how Ellis is able to treat the venom flowing through Theo's veins.

---

in other news...

I MISS TEDDY!! *squirms in my chair* He said Tuesday is when he and Joy may be getting a phone line and internet connection at the new house... which is only less than 24 hours away.. but... butbutbut... I REALLY miss Teddy heart .
*pokes around redoing the RP journal layout a bit*

mew.. *pouts*

~~Ellis

No no NO!!

Why the hell do people have to drink and then be STUPID enough to drive?!?!

They end up hurting the people we love ;~;

Teddy was hurt.. accident...

*not sleeping tonight.. can't.. too worried...*

~~Ellis

I can understand people being upset about wanting to hear the result for s2kitty's contest, but the bad mouthing I'm seeing in the contest thread.. no.. not even CLOSE to being cool.

First of all, this is a simple contest that NONE of us BESIDES s2kitty spent any physical cash on, and MOST of the pieces entered are SIMPLE pieces. If we all submitted this all glorious masterpieces that we all spent months on end on to create, spent so much sweat and blood on, then yeah, THEN people can be pissed.

BUT its NOT and NONE of the pieces are all glorious masterpieces. NONE. They're good, yes... but... maybe the most any of us spent on any one piece is maybe a few hours, or even JUST an hour.

Second, yes, s2 really IS sick.. she IS going through a lot of s**t in her real life. THAT HAS TO COME FIRST!!! Her getting her health and rl comes first... things here on Gaia must come second or even back burner.
And want to know why she can buy stuff for her Gaia house? Its because she's been here in Gaia a while, has posted and posted and posted and posted in the past, sold a lot of items, sold some of her artwork.. she has the 'gold', she can do it!

*and besides, a LOT of those posts you see if you're looking in her Ego search... those are those glitch posts.. the ones that lead back to bunnipop! If people took the time to look at where those posts actually lead, they'd see. EVERYONE is being affected by them, so CHILL OUT!*

I talk to s2 on a regular basis, as does Ralbas... we know what she's going through.. she's not trying to screw anyone over, she would NOT do that. She is NOT that kind of person.

I DO agree that the judges that havent' submitted their votes yet need to get their votes in, BUT its not a life stopping thing! Life goes on! There IS a world outside of Gaia and the internet.

And bad mouthing ANYONE is because you're not a happy camper is not in good taste... to heck with age, acting like that shows how much of a brat some people can be.

LAY OFF s2kitty! Leave her the heck alone! She hasn't done some horrible thing to ANYONE, so leave her alone, and put the contest on a back burner.

---

Other news..

RAT's WAS ARCHIVED!!! crying gonk
I just PM'd ShadowTigress *dedicated mod to the Chatterbox*, trying to see if our home on Gaia can be un-archived. Rat himself can't do it because he's across seas with the military, but HOPEFULLY I'm not the only one whom sent request posts the Chatterbox mods about this. I don't want to see Rat's thread die because of a archiving issue ;~;.

~~Ellis

Good news is Teddy and Joy made it to Joy's friends house in one piece and are a-okay ^_^.

Bad news... the pain in my back has gotten WORSE. When I slipped on the ice patch in the driveway last week, I thought it was just my ankle that was hurt. But gradually since then, my back has been hurting more and more to the point where the ONLY pain killer thats working is prescription strength Neproxin.

I went to the chiropractor this morning and it did help a little, but Dr. John said my entire back felt like someone poured quick dry cement in me. He got two good pops out of my neck, but my back is too ******** up. Even using the electric stimulation pads on the sorest parts of my back, he couldn't get it to budge without me crying.

Whats scarier.. these past now 3 days, the front part of my lower ribs have been hurting... almost like some threw a bowling ball in my gut. Mom is scared that I might have cracked a rib... but we'll wait until after my next visit with the chiropractor... if I'm not doing better by then, then Dr. John is going to write me a script to go to the hospital and get Xrays done.

Fuuuuuuuuck, this is going to suck even worse! I don't have insurance yet! crying And I know the parish isn't going to help...

Nnn.. so yeah, I'm going to be a very sore kitten for a while... ;~;. To anyone whom talks to me during this time, I apologize ahead of time if I snap at you or am grumpy or cranky... being in a lot of pain tends to do that sweatdrop .

~~Ellis_uni