Age: 19
Gender: Male
Race: Human, usually.
Stature: Pretty tall, and unusually lithe. Absolutely no muscles.
Personality: Shurimpu tends to be loud and strange, ranging from hitting on women at the drop of a hat to being a caustic a*****e to anyone he wishes. Still, he's very close and loyal to those he counts as friends, and is willing to do the impossible for them.
History: Shurimpu's memory only goes back to September 2004, when he woke up one day nearly naked in an alley with no memory. He convinced himself he lost his memory from an injury suffered in the Gaian 2k4 Olympics, but we all know this is bullshit.
Shurimpu managed to continue living, to the surprise of many, by taking opinion surveys for money and sleeping behind Barton Boutique. He soon grew sick of being naked and fighting other noobs for supremacy, so he headed north, armed with only newly-bought Green Flame clothes and shiny new Goti Clips a Russian Canadian Angel had given him.
Shurimpu arrived at Isle De Gambino just in time for Halloween. Pissed off after a long trek and fully ready and willing to dominate some zombies, Shurimpu kicked unprecedented amounts of a** and soon grew quite cocky, considering being Human something to brag about.
Despite the recent epic PWNing of Gambino mansion, Shurimpu liked Isle De Gambino enough to remain there for a while. He spent most of his days hitting on Ruby, and only left when a restraining order was filed. This didn't trouble Shurimpu too much, as he discovered a new love of fishing. With extreme control over his finely tuned rod, he soon became a Master Baiter.
Before long, even the possibly sociopathic Shurimpu had earned friends, namely a set of twins richer than he would ever be and a young nerdling he soon converted into a minion. With these new friends, Shurimpu happily began the new year, ready to kick a** and woo women.
He didn't have to wait long. During the Second Gaia Anniversary Ball and in the events thereafter, Shurimpu attempted to bed the Von Helson Sisters, with limited success. The twins then faked their death upon learning that Shurimpu had learned their phone number, and Shurimpu purchased a Chestplate of Arachne because he is clinically retarded.
Then Shurimpu became a gambling addict, playing slots constantly and harassing Ruby some more, who had forgotten to renew the aforementioned restraining order. Shurimpu left the machines to pay up to Shoy King upon learning that Gino Gambino was, in fact, alive, and somehow managed to afford a new house by taking advantage of Gaia's subprime mortgages.
Shurimpu returned to Isle De Gambino to find the place infested with Grunnies, little mongoloid beasts he referred to as "Being almost as stupid as Quidditch". Despite his ninja training, he was infected and slowly turned into a Grombie, but earned some cool swag in the process. He reverted back in time to see the mansion get raped by a missile yet again, silently wondering how hard it was to get insurance on a house blown up twice.
Time passed, and Shurimpu converted his home into a badass ninja dojo and trained himself in the art of Ai Pwnz J00 to avoid embarrassing himself in the future conflicts that would ravage Gaia. By effectively using a training montage, Shurimpu became a complete ninja badass by the New Year, and was thus able to see Ian make a complete douche of himself at the party.
Shurimpu became more social in the year of 2006, actively watching the Trial of Ian and placing bets with his friends. For once, Shurimpu won the bet, being the only person to choose the "He gets off but gets his s**t ruined by a projectile weapon" option, remembering how much the Gaian Gods like ******** people up with an unprovoked blast from somewhere.
Shurimpu then bought a Chyaku Norisu scarf, informing his friends that it was, quote, "******** Badass Like Woah". Shurimpu wore it everywhere, and it even saved is eyesight when a giant blinding flash enveloped all of Gaia. Narrowly avoiding needing laser eye surgery, Shurimpu returned to the casino to duel unpopular people in Blackjack.
Shurimpu exited the casino later, and was wholly unsurprised when bad s**t was yet again going down at Gambino Mansion. Figuring the Zurg were much less threatening than the Zerg, Shurimpu led a preemptive strike against the foreign invaders under false pretenses, claiming that they killed his father and, thus, had to die.
Satisfied that he had kicked enough Alien a**, Shurimpu was then content to spend Christmas with the little fellows, spending most of the time reminding the creatures that having five fingers was completely awesome and that their bald heads were unsightly and increased their risk of getting skin cancer.
Shurimpu then decided to relax, and began competing against his friends in relaxed bouts of fishing. He also continued his ninja training, but ultimately was unable to infiltrate Ruby's shop at night, amazed by the woman's ability to stay awake all night, and making plans to take advantage of this someday.
Shurimpu was then shocked to realize that the Von Helson twins were alive and well, if by well you meant "Godless Bloodsuckers, moreso than normal women". Shurimpu struggled, wondering if helping out hot chicks was more important to him than kicking nonhuman a**. He later decided that eyepatches and stitches weren't his style, and prepared himself for the coming Halloween event, hearing rumors that a great evil was coming to Gaia.
After a month of solitary training, Shurimpu returned to his friends, ready to take whatever threat was thrown at them. After Zombies, Retards, and Aliens, Shurimpu figured Vampires or Werewolves would be next, and proceeded to stake the everloving s**t out of the small vampire community on Gaia. His thirst for blood of the noobs was not yet quenched, though, and Shurimpu allowed himself to be turned and proceeded to fight Humans as well, which, in his opinion, balanced the fight.
Shurimpu then giddily began high-fiving everything in sight for the next month, and once the holiday season approached, he decided it was time to care for some ******** orphans. Feeding them stale bread and cleaning their lungs out with barbed wire, Shurimpu called it a day after receiving the shittiest gifts on Gaia yet and spent the remainder of the holiday season punching children for not having parents.
Shurimpu began 2008 with a smile on his face and collapsed children at his feet, deciding this would be the year he would save the world from some nondescript evil. Deciding the best way to do this would be to raise some evil animal minions, he purchased a Green Corallus Egg, figuring that anything Green would be a decent low-level monster to kick some nooby a**. Unfortunately the snake that hatched out was a total p***y and spent most of it's time reading Anne Rice novels.
About this time Shurimpu joined his friends in a guild that consisted of shooting people in the face, which was pretty cool in his opinion. However, his new guildmates spent most of their time just beating the crap out of eachother in a bloody brawl, which was even better in his opinion. He gained yet another lasting friend from this, and then went to go crash his prom by rickrolling it.
Much to his delight, the Gaian 2k8 Olympics consisted of doing stupid s**t with a time limit, a skill in which Shurimpu excelled. He actually came in last place, earning the Burnt Toast Trophy, which most Gaians would actually agree was the best trophy overall. Shurimpu figured that most Gaians were retards, but were actually right this time.
Shurimpu then began heeding the rumors that a great evil was ready to descend upon Gaia, figuring that it wouldn't be October without some bad s**t seriously going down. Even more new races began popping up, and while Shurimpu was determined to dominate the Dark Elves, Glompies, and Centaurs, that didn't stop him from being curious about their genitals. I mean, really, where do Centaur vaginas go? Am I the only one who's curious about this? Guys?
Still, as lame as they were, Shurimpu took a liking to rocking out as a vampire, finding any race that doesn't rely on others ballsy enough to fight as. He returned to his human skin in the end, though, as random objects started coming to life and attacking people. Shurimpu thought this was hilarious until a plunger in his bathroom assaulted his nuts.
Deciding that any race that assaulted his d**k was a race he could do without, Shurimpu and his friends took up arms. Shurimpu and his minions stormed the Animated by force, taking out critical bosses solo and doing menial fetch quests for every living being near Barton.
Before long, Shurimpu figured that it was indeed that Gambinos who probably ******** everything up all over again. Too lazy to wait for another missile to solve all his problems, Shurimpu descended into the sea, willing to take on whatever stupid s**t Gambino had cooked up this time.
Ten Combat Levels and 800k or so later, Shurimpu returned to land shortly before the holidays. Rather than caring for orphans, Shurimpu decided it would be rather fun to care for midgets, which he assumed was the next logical step up. Unable to find any, our hero figured doing fetch quests for elves was the next best thing, especially if it helped transform a cow into Santa Claus. Shurimpu merely hoped that his good deed didn't serve as jerk-off material for people with transformation fetishes.
Shurimpu warily tried a few Random-Item Generators for the next couple months, effectively breaking even. Luckily, Valentine's Day came and went with little more than a few amazingly bad cards going to and fro. Shurimpu's only regret was being unable to find a word that rhymed with "Fellatio".
Shurimpu spent a few weeks grabbing some hot booty and dodging lawsuits, and before he knew it, Easter had arrived! Over the course of the weekend Shurimpu found and collected about 861 eggs. He then promptly passed out from exhaustion and swore off reproduction altogether. This lasted about ten seconds before he heard Ruby's store was in trouble, and decided to buy his way into her petticoat.
Despite heaping gold on the lady and lying his a** off, which usually was a tried-and-true method, Ruby spurned Shurimpu's advances yet again. She then promptly changed her looks, personality, and shop, hoping that by changing everything about her appearance, Shurimpu would be shallow enough to not like her any more. She succeeded, and Shurimpu promptly glomped Sam into submission.
Like most hip and jive people his age, Shurimpu spent the summer playing the all new GEE BOI TURBO, especially since he heard that if you got to the last stage, you won a hot chick. Shurimpu's history of video gaming paid off, and he actually won more gold than he knew what to do with, throwing some nice items at his close friends before obtaining a Gaia-tan to call his own. Also, he bought some porn, but that's not really that surprising.
However, things would not remain so lucky for Shurimpu. He was assaulted grievously and robbed for everything he had, completely without reason. Why, all he was doing was chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool and all shooting some B-Ball outside of the school when a couple of guys, who were up to no good! Started makin' trouble in my neighborhood! I got in one little fight, and my mom got scared, and said "Yo movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air." I begged and pleaded with her, day aft- [Edited for extreme boringness]
Adopting the title of Ryougi, which means "Fanboy" in Weeaboo, Shurimpu was a mere level one newbie in the big bad world of Gaia. Luckily, some of his friends agreed to fund and powerlevel him, and Shurimpu cried manly tears. Unfortunately, all that came out was delicious Red Bino.
Still, even broke, weak, and near-naked, Shurimpu tested into Rich-Camp during summer by flirting with the Von Helson Sisters. Pleased that everyone in the other camps despised him and his comrades, Shurimpu beat a record amount of a** in a record amount of time, mostly due to the fact that he beat the event before it formally started. Also, he borrowed some porn, but it was from a female friend of his. He did not think things through all the way.
