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You ever just wonder why you're still here? Here, as in, alive. I sometimes catch myself wondering in the solitude of my past and questioning what things would be like now if only i could change a few little things. Some of the interpretations of what i think should be happening in my present time are so off that i ask myself why the hell i even try to look forward to the future. I think about my past and all the things that have made me happy, even though in the long run, have crushed me to pieces. Maybe my expectations are too high now. Maybe im just overlooking things. I can't see clearly right now, so i wish i knew. <br><br/>
My thoughts right now are revolving around this empty, dark, bottomless feeling in my stomach. If only the one person to make that change was here. Just being in that persons presence would completely uplift me and clear my thoughts. If only...