|
|
|
I think I'm the MAGNET of drama...or something x.x;;;
Whatever, life goes on!
Anyway, I'm never ever going to be on this account again...unless for some reason I feel like it o.0;;;
So...for those of you who already know my other account, good for you.
For those who don't...ask?
Meow.
Signing off! >O
xxxJa
 Sebastian B Gartner · Fri Jul 22, 2005 @ 10:51pm · 0 Comments |
|
|
|
|
the coldness of affection |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Isn't it better that it's not some meaningless infatuation?
Isn't it better that, for once, I can say that she only makes me smile?
So what if there's that fluttering feeling, the shaking of the hands?
It can't be anything.
It's better this way.
This way, there are no fatal consequences.
No pain.
Sebastian B Gartner · Fri Feb 11, 2005 @ 09:51am · 3 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
|
I feel like a huge jerk.
I've been snarky and sardonic all day.
I feel like a huge CONDESCENDING jerk, which is worse because I don't like belittling people.
I realized that SHE was straight and thus have completely given up. Though I can't help the feeling that leaks into my consciousness everytime she's around.
What's wrong with me? All of a sudden I'm feeling exanimate and tired. It's not PMS because I just got over it.
Not only do I belittle other people, I'm a bit self-deprocating as well. Does that even make sense?
I haven't even gotten terribly angry with my parents.
I think I'm reverting back to my 'defective human' stage.
I seriously can't get the thought out of my head.
My inner conscience has been taunting me, whispering words of hatred and disgust. I can't help but succumb to it.
I feel...worthless.
I feel like I'm making people feel bad. I feel like I'm crushing them.
The realities of life are beginning to stain again.
Sebastian B Gartner · Sun Feb 06, 2005 @ 09:08pm · 2 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
|
You know, I don't like being lied to.
I'm starting to question how highly you think of me.
I'm not stupid, you know.
You shouldn't treat me like your actual slave.
And no, I'm not 'cutting off all ties' with you. I don't hate you.
Theres a thin yet somewhat obscure line between hatred and anger.
I am angry.
I know, I know you lied.
The question is how many times you've lied.
You know who you are.
I don't want an apology. I don't want excuses.
I just want you to be truthful.
It's not that hard.
Sebastian B Gartner · Sat Jan 22, 2005 @ 06:36am · 2 Comments |
|
|
|
|
tiny threads woven with happiness |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Well, since LJ is down right now, I suppose I must right in here.
Today after school, was SFK day.
I made it in.
When I found out, I was so freaking happy. I just wanted to hug the person next to me (who at the moment was Kristina)!!!
All that work. 5 months of scrubbing. 5 months of stressing.
And I finally made it in.
I can't say all that went on. All I can say is cow manure and sculptures.
Now I'm torn between Piedmont and Porter Ridge.
Fabulous.
But oh well, being an NAHS member just feels GREAT.
And tomorrow I get to see Ann(e) <3
Sebastian B Gartner · Sat Jan 15, 2005 @ 04:03am · 1 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
|
I don't quite understand the human mind.
You think one thing and someone else another.
Opinions are all so scewed and obscure that facts themselves seem to blur along the edges, blending with illusion.
Harris taught us that our reality is so twisted and based on mere thoughts and opinions rather than actual fact.
I try to look at both sides of the fence before actually judging something.
It appears that I've grown too comfortable that I actually deny the feelings of others.
I see them as...accesories.
How hideously disgusting of me.
Sebastian B Gartner · Fri Jan 14, 2005 @ 03:51am · 1 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
|
[I'm at a loss of motivation, so I need to write something]
-Kai's POV-
It was almost funny, sitting there, watching as you slowly broke apart. I felt like clutching my side and laughing to the point of suffication.
You always amused me in some way.
It was funny to see you trip and fall. It was funny to see you shatter into ireparable shards. It was funny to see you believe.
I didn't know that I could be so convincing. I didn't know that this facade of 'love' could be so...accurate.
But then again, hopeless romantics are, well, hopeless.
They say love makes you do crazy things, and they say love is blind.
You fell in love with the brilliant wrapping paper and forgot to check what was inside.
And now look at you, drowning in misery because I never loved you back.
It's amazing how I could do so much damage.
This is fun.
I think I've developed a fetish for breaking hearts.
"Rei, I'm sorry, I don't know what's gotten into me, please forgive me..."
Success.
Sebastian B Gartner · Sun Jan 02, 2005 @ 04:11am · 0 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
|
It seems almost pointless.
Why does it matter?
Just sitting there...socializing.
We're all asses. We're all guilty of being HUMAN.
It doesn't matter. It SHOULDN'T matter.
Life isn't sitting on your a** and posting what you think.
Life is going out and DO what you think.
Nothing's going to get done if 100 or 10000 people know what you think.
Our future's spiraling down oblivion.
I can't wait until doomsday.
Sebastian B Gartner · Fri Dec 31, 2004 @ 11:43pm · 0 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
