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As a small handfull of you may know, I recently moved into a new (well, actually really old) house on the German economy in a cute little town called Konigstein. I love the town; I wouldn't pick any other place to live right now. Friendly people, beautiful countryside, cobblestone streets that take you to the cafes and restaurants of downtown, etcetera. Just lovely. The problem actually lies within the house I now currently reside in which, in this ranter's opinion, should have just been boarded up, condemned for a few years, then promptly destroyed to make way for a better, for practical home.
My main issue lies with the ravings below. Enjoy, but be warned for some coarse language. I kept it to a minimum, but there were some points that I just had to convey my outrage with all my might. So here we are:
Just last night, with a single click of a switch in the front hallway, my dad blows the power out all over the goddamn house. Checking the circuit board, we eventually discovered that one switch out of the entire house (the one that works the front hall light and the hall light upstairs) kept tripping the breaker and shutting down our power. "But wait," I hear some say, "if you have one fatal switch out of the entire circuit board, would that not be something to notice on day one?"
Well, one would think so, but this ancient house is so old and flaky that you don't know what's going to go wrong, let alone when. Everything was working peachy keen until Dad decided to flip a switch that, up until now, we all believed served absolutely no purpose. Seriously, it never did anything. But now I realize that it did, indeed, have a purpose; that was to suck all the power out of our house when we least expected it (and while some of us were enjoying our lesbian doujinshi online). It's like the designers tacked it on there just so we would one day blow the s**t out of our electricity. neutral
The funny thing is, Dad never even meant to click that switch. He brought doomsday down on our poor electricity by hitting the wrong fixture. How do you manage a feat like that, you ask? Well, for those who don't know, European light switches are a little different from American ones. Instead of having that little n****e-thingy that sticks out for you to toggle, the ones here are more of a press down kind of thing, like this:
It's not too bad. It's not inconvenient, anyway. What is inconvenient, however, is the fact that many houses here try to save space (I assume) by piling all the switches in the room on top of each other so you can control everything from one point. Sounds like a pretty sweet deal, but it can actually get pretty aggrivating when there are three or four switches in one big vertical ******** and one controls the hall light, one controls the light outside and the others control God knows what. Another great example of German architechture. gonk
So Dad and I decided to go around, ripping out all the light switches in the house that controlled the front hall and the hall upstairs to figure out which one was the problem child. Now, logically, you would think there would be only two light switches to examine overall, because there are two sections in the entire building that are giving us problems (which are, for some reason, both controlled by only one switch in the circuit board, but whatev). But that's just how great this house is; it defies all logic because it's just so gangsta.
Now, maybe an extra switch for the light upstairs could make sense, because a person may want the option to turn the light on and off upstairs and downstairs. But get this: there are six (count 'em, SIX) different light switches, three for the light downstairs and three for the light upstairs! What the hell? Seriously, what the am I going to need three ******** fixtures for?
"I don't really feel like turning the light off here. I'm going to walk two feet away and turn it off here instead, because it's just so wonderfully practical."
Like I said, one extra switch for the light upstairs to be used downstairs makes sense if you're leaving the house or something. Who wants to walk all the way upstairs just to turn off a light? Not me; I'm too lazy for that crap. The one downstairs has no excuse. One switch and one only.
Anyway, so Dad and I go poking through light fixtures to get to the bottom of the problem. After ripping off all of them and checking their power with a voltage meter, we managed to accomplish a great deal of nothing in no time at all. None of the six switches were generating any power at all, and yet they were still somehow ******** with the circuit board.
Irritated, tired and defeated, we ended up keeping that switch turned off on the circuit board so the rest of the house would work. We now have to hire an electrician to come in and fix our problem, because this house is just so fantastically designed and put together that it just wouldn't be doing it justice if we didn't throw in a giant wad of cash to make it even better. I love that. I love how this house is just so old and dependable. I love how light switches with no power whatsoever can shut down an entire house.
Whoever built this house was on crack, or at least incompetent. It's extremely cramped, there are no closets for storage, the kitchen is too ******** small for the size of the house (which was meant for four people), there is no living room yet, and the light fixtures are just a giant heap of garbage that deserve to be tossed into the compost heap along with the dirty diapers and used cola bottles that already litter the place. That's just how beautiful this house is.
burning_eyes
 Lilith Marmaduke · Sun May 04, 2008 @ 10:16am · 0 Comments |
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Use your ******** language! |
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Okay, there are certain things in this world that I'll never understand. Why most anime fans have the urge to use bits and pieces of the Japanese language is one of them. What, do you people think you look cool when you use a single word from the Japanese vocabulary? I hate to break it to you, but it doesn't make you look <i>"cool"</i>.
Now an understandable case would be if we had no word for, let's say "cute". Let's say that word doesn't exist in the English language. We hear the term "Kawaii" from some japanese guy and think, "Wow, that's an interesting word. We'll use it." It's like with the Germans. They have no word for the term "baby" in the sexy way. You know, something like, "Ooh, baby." So, they use our word. Pretty convenient, and it's practical.
Unfortunately, that isn't the case with hundreds of Americans (possibly Canadians, Germans, and Italians, but we know where the source came from). They have it in their minds that to show their "Eliteness" among anime fans, they must use as many pointless, two-syllable words that are Japanese as possible (i.e. Baka, Kawaii, Uke, Seme (yes, I know), etcetera). Why do they do this? Are they under the delusion that they're Japanese? No one knows.
Let me break it down for all you happy people: <b><i>You are not Japanese. You are sad little white boys and girls (usually girls) who wish to death you were Japaese, but aren't. God forbid you people actually spend some time and money and learn the whole damn language.</b></i> When you're done bawling either from harsh realization or that you think I'm so mean, I'll continue...Ready?
So, we've established that you're not Japanese and that you're too cheap to actually learn the whole language of said culture. You try to speak a little broken (probably mispronounced) Japanese to your friends, and, to them, you sound cool, but to the other kids around the corner, you've been branded a retard for life. Now, let's talk about another way poor Japanese is being used: Fanfics.
I'm ******** sick of trying to read some fanfic on-line, and finding out that the author is just another self-proclaimed "Otaku" who feels the need to clutter up his/her story with "Baka yaro", "hentai", and other such words that have been used so often that the Japanese are probably considering getting rid of them. However, such fanfics are hard to spot at first; see, they lull you in with a seemingly good summary of the fanfic. You think "Hmm, this looks interesting. I bet it's sweet and harmless and...<i>Oh God!</i>" By then it's too late. You've clicked the button and have entered a startlingly twisted world of spelling errors, plot holes, and worst of all, <i>broken japanese.</i>
However, some people cleverly disguise themselves. I've seen people who make you think they know the language by using full setences and such in fanfics (which is a little pointless; English people need to be able to read it). I was actually impressed by this girl who used full sentences in Japanese. Then, I got curious and looked the phrases up in my favorite search engine, Google. What I found was both disappointing and horrific; this cheap b***h was using phrases that any anime fan and his mother would know if they looked hard enough. Needless to say, I was not pleased.
Ever since then, I've been skeptical of many anime fans that I meet, and have been cautious of what fanfics I read. Don't get me wrong; I love a good piece of anime porn literature, but damn it! I want proper English from the English people! That's all I have to say. Thanks for reading.
Lilith Marmaduke · Wed Jun 22, 2005 @ 10:09am · 2 Comments |
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You know what the greatest joy in the world is? Letting people know they look like idiots. I've decided that the grand majority of my journal entries will be about me owning the s**t out of people that I know and hate (or dislike greatly). A little cruel, you say? Well so is brandishing your idiocy all over the net. I know this isn't real life, but show some God damn common sense, people!
My first "opponent" is so religiously a**l that she probably thinks God went "Click" and there was the universe (in six days, nonetheless). Obviously she is hard-core Republican-Conservative (mind you, I have nothing against Republicans or conservatives of any kind; I am Republican myself. I just hate the guts out of those who just can't wait for a chance to not mind their own damn business); she thinks homosexuality is a VERY big sin (I'm not talking just sinning here. She really thinks that if you're homo, reguardless of your religion, you are going to Hell), she believes Christianity is the only way to go to not burn in Hell, and she believes that any reference to Evolution is pure blasphemy and will win you a nice one-way ticket to the Prince of Darkness.
How do I know this? I've seen her in action and witnessed her idle stupidity. It started off with someone who began a thread about not believing in God. Yes, yes, one o' these again. When you've stopped sighing in total exasperation, we'll continue...ready?
It went pretty slow for a while, but then...Hannah Harrell came! She instantly starts bitching about how no one likes Christians like her and how everyone ignores her people, even though they only try to help. She was even using CAPS LOCK to prove her point! Oh Emm Gee! So, I nicely responded with:
"Jesus, calm down! It's not that big of a deal."
While I couldn't see it, I'm sure that those big, red, glowing eyes turned to me in heightened fury. She let out a mighty roar and responded in her evil, cackling voice:
"Not a big deal?!?!?!?!?!!11 if you dont belief in JESUS CHRIST you will go to hell and suffer torchers for eternity, like (I s**t you not, she really said this part) being eaten by giant worms and falling in an endless pit for days!!!11!!1ONE"
Right. So I decided to be a little b***h at this point and say: (direct quote from myself)
"No one knows for a fact what goes on in Big Red's place. I highly doubt Satan would be so unoriginal as to have people eaten by giant worms or falling into an abyss of nothingness for days." (mind you, because I was on a website that kids as young as twelve use, I wasn't allowed to curse. Not that it matters or anything. [********])
Basically, she couldn't stand the total ownage and decided to "get even" by making a new thread with my name on it, screeching her keyboard out about how I don't understand what she's getting at, how I throw everything in her face, how her life is, and oh my bleeding piles, on and on she went.
I decided to ignore her from then on, but not before criticizing the all-holy Jesus out of her about how shitty her spelling and grammar is and questioning whether or not she has some mental disorder.
The beast then fell, reduced to nothing but tears and shame. She shakily stood, stared at me with a sense of defeat, then ran off, the heavy thuds of her large feet trailing off into the distance.
That was just chapter one of "Nori versus the Religious Tyrant." Chapter two may come up if I ever feel like making Hannah look like a moron again.
Note: I have nothing against Christians, Republicans, or Conservatives. Those who choose to take the Bible literally, do so to your heart's content. I really don't care. Just don't be jackasses about it, alright?
Lilith Marmaduke · Tue May 31, 2005 @ 08:17am · 3 Comments |
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Alright, I officially hate any sensitive cretins of other races. Idiots who get unnecissarily angry over ******** words need to be dragged around a golf course while being mauled by a bear and shot. Repeatedly.
On the schoolbus, Dr. Pimp's telling another one of his funny stories, and he happens to make a pun statement about him talking to his friend, saying "Yo, what up, my *****?" and all of the sudden we've got racially sensitive hippocrytes everywhere.
They're flying their obnoxious traps, saying how he can't say that word (but they can say that whenever they want), and threatening to kick his a**. Dr. Pimp, however, is making jokes about all this, making us who have a sense of humor laugh our asses off. Then this chick starts saying things like "You little cracka! Blah blah blah! I'm a stupid whore with no life! Hizzle!"
The only thing I can remember after that is after we get off the bus and some guy starts provoking Dr. Pimp into a fight by repeatedly touching his face (or maybe he just wanted his body that night, I'm not sure...). Dr. Pimp, however, being the cool guy he is, doesn't comply. He just keeps walking and shoving this guy's fingers out of his face. The next thing I know, he nails Dr. Pimp in the face, then Coach Z jumps into the fray, and a small fight ensues. It was thankfully cut short when a few adults starting coming out of the building; the retarded ******** left.
From now on, though, whenever I encounter anyone who is rediculously sensitive about a ******** word about their race, I will belittle the hell out of them.
EDIT: Forgot my Domo. domokun
Lilith Marmaduke · Mon Nov 01, 2004 @ 06:11pm · 5 Comments |
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Dr. Pimp is now on my hit list. If he is reading this now, I'm sure he knows he will die a horrible death whilst on the bus to school...for being a wise a**. Nobody is allowed to be wise anymore. domokun
EDIT: I just realized I've ended my posts with a domo twice already. I should make it a signature.
Lilith Marmaduke · Sat Oct 02, 2004 @ 07:07pm · 3 Comments |
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Today I totally owned that so-called King of the Netherworld, Laharl (the avatar, not the video game character); it was quite fun, actually.
Nothing much else to report today, except tomorrow I'm going on a JROTC trip, meaning I get to miss some school. Kick a**. domokun
Lilith Marmaduke · Mon Sep 27, 2004 @ 06:49pm · 2 Comments |
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