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The life of a button is not often revered as a meaningful thing. Buttons are only practical objects used for practical purposes. They do not inspire great amounts of imagination in children; they do not cause soldiers to look into their hearts for vast amounts of courage and they certainly never bring about the ways of the world. No, a button is neither a protagonist nor an antagonist; they are the little companion that neatly keeps a person’s clothes together. That’s why it is found as an unfortunate thing for one to loose a button. It’s as if one has lost a part of his composure. At least that’s how it felt for Jeffrey Less.
Sophie’s hair sat neatly on her head, wrapped in a tight French roll. Her fingers- much like her hair- were intricately laced together and had their nails trimmed perfectly. The dark rouge on her fingernails was the exact same color as her dress, lips, and shoes. The only things that didn’t match were her pale green eyes. Jeff hadn’t ever seen a woman so uniform and symmetrical before. She presented to him an unbearable rigidness that made him feel as though he were perpetually slouching. In what might have been the fiftieth time adjusting his posture, he managed to muscle a smile towards Sophie’s direction. Her cold green eyes said nothing to him in the ways of a polite response; rather she pursed her dark red lips and sighed. Sophie unfolded her hands and leaned her head heavily on her wrist. Jeff thought that she now looked uneven and actually a little more attractive. He fidgeted in his seat again just a he finally worked up the courage to say something.
“Uh, forgive me for being blunt. But you look like you take care of yourself in a very precise manner.”
Sophie looked up at Jeff with blank eyes. Jeff winced as he mulled over what he had said to her. Trying again, with perhaps a little more thought than before, Jeff opened his mouth.

“I… Err... What I mean is you look very nice.”
He hoped this would be enough to appease her for now, possibly even inspiring her to enter the conversation. Sophie’s lip lifted up at one end, producing a wry smile. Her emotionless eyes looked down at his chest and then back up to meet Jeff’s gaze.
“Your shirt is missing a button”
Jeff felt as if heart had been ripped out, tossed on the ground and danced upon by the Ice Queen’s glass heels. Not knowing what to do, Jeff absentmindedly looked down at his shirt. He was sad to see that is was the third button from the top that had suddenly had gone AWOL. The lost button left his shirt with a rather large peep hole, allowing anyone to gander at his off white undershirt. Jeff felt exposed. He tried to cover his self imposed nakedness by clenching the gap together with his hand.
For the first time of the night Sophie looked particularly amused with herself. She leaned forward in her seat almost as if she was inching to get a better view of Jeff’s discomfort. She watched him with a snide little grin on her other wise emotionless face as he tucked a cloth napkin into his collar. Jeff eyeballed the droopy napkin hanging out from under his chin. He couldn’t help but feel that he looked like some pompous
Pimpernel with a very inadequate ruffle, or to be more exact, his uncle Larry at a rib buffet.
Jeff tried to take is mind off his wanting button and napkin by watching the restaurant’s other patrons. They all seemed so carefree. His eyes wandered from person to person, until he had finally set his gaze upon an old couple in the booth next his table. The couple had an air about them; a presence that reminded Jeff of New England antique shop. The old man wore a baggy green cardigan over a cream color dress shirt and blue jeans. His adorable grey haired wife had decided to show off a “#1 grandmother” sweatshirt and donned on her right shoulder was a golden cat pin with two sapphire eyes. Jeff would have felt overdressed compared to the old couple, except for the lingering nag he got from knowing he had lost a button. Feeling that he should give Sophie some attention, Jeff hesitantly raised his eyes to look at her.
Sophie had her fingers coiled in a ball upon the table again. Her face- which had usually been cold and porcelain like- seemed like it was twitching in anger. Jeff squirmed when he studied her, he couldn’t help but believe he was the one that caused her unsettling gesture. He inspected her eyes, and it looked as though she was peering at the old couple in the booth. Jeff jerked back into his seat when Sophie unexpectedly snapped her head back to his direction.
“Can you believe that elderly couple?” Sophie’s voice was harsh and jutting. Jeff was familiar with this kind of voice; it was the kind of scrutinizing voice that his middle aged German professor- Frau Dietrich- used to humiliate her students with. “Just look at them,
their impunity!” Again Sophie’s voice had that familiar venomous Aryan sound to it. Jeff turned to get a better look at the old couple again. He didn’t understand why Sophie was so furious at them. “So what if they’re old,” he thought, “they have just as much right to dine here as the rest of us.”
Sophie spoke again, quietly, and conversed as if she was trying to make a logical argument. “ I can tell by your blank expression that you do not understand me.” Jeff grinded his teeth, but didn’t disturb her. “The couple, as I have told you before is making me upset. They insist on wearing grubby clothes to a fine dinning establishment. I consider that an insult.”
“Insult? To whom?” Jeff pondered to himself. He looked at the old couple in their “grubby” cloths and smiled. He thought they looked rather cute... Not that he would say that aloud. True, he felt the old couple would have been better suited for the Waffle House down the street, but he didn’t see them as insulting. He stared at the old man’s tacky green cardigan and smiled. “It takes guts to were something that ugly,” thought Jeff, “that, or you just don’t care about...” It was at that time Jeff felt a lot lighter about himself. He looked down at his shirt and his make shift attempt to cover up his missing button. Jeff glanced up at Sophie, who was going on about how the to old folks should be eating porridge at a home, or something equally awful. He smirked to himself knowing that she would soon be left with out a date.
Jeff scooted his chair away from the table, making as little noise as possible so that the all-knowing Sophie could still hear herself. “...this heinous act against proper attire is even worse than you losing a button!” It took Sophie a few seconds to stop ranting and realizing that she was being left at the table. “HOW DARE YOU?! THE IMPUNITY OF YOU ALL!” She was standing now, but all Jeff did was look down at the table. When he gazed down he found an old companion resting snugly underneath the brim of the bread basket. He reached for the tiny circular object and stroked it with his finger. Jeff Looked back up to Sophie and smiled. “ I found my button. Isn’t odd how things show up when you least expect them to.” He laughed and then carefully placed the small white button in his pocket. Jeff turned for the door, and took his time strolling to it. He heard Sophie crying about “ Oh the impunity of it all” and he didn’t care. Jeff only thought about what store he should by thread from.