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I think...
I may actually be loosing my mind. Im not quite sure what to think about myself anymore. Most people would expect me to relate myself to someone like Superman, or some other people-protecting, country loving hero. Most people would tell me that its the normal thing to agree with the beliefs of a unanimous world shared love. As much as i can want Something like out of John Lennon's song "Imagine", though, i know it wont happen. Instead, I find myself looking at people Like the Joker from batman and The Comedian from the Watchmen as misunderstood gods amongst men. They both share interesting points. That humans are all the same. They are all scared. They are all Hurt. They all eventually need help. They will all do horrible, terrible, evil things when backed into a corner. Why try to hide it? Were all animals, just pretending to be something bigger. When, in the end, were all insignificant. Whats more important in the end than finding our own entertainment? Finding something that makes us laugh? Have a good time? Who gives a s**t what others think? "Some men arent out for anything logical. They cant be bought, bullied, negotiated or reasoned with. Some men just want to watch the world burn". Well, Ill tell you something interesting, ladies and gentlemen. This Dog is tired of being slapped with newspapers and cornered. This animal is tired of pretending that people are inherrantly good. This Creature is going to start being just what it wants, when it wants, however it wants, and anyone who tries to hurt it will get hurt itself. I guess you could say ive lost it, but if someone decides to break my finger again, as my dear sweet mommy did, Ill kill them. if someone decides to try and hurt me emotionally by running me through the dirt, I will destroy them in every way possible. I promise.
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My abscence
If anyone is wondering why I was absent today, it began like this. I was woke up at around 10:00 by the sounds of my parents yelling at each other. I treid to make my way to the restroom without being noticed, but my mom caught sight of me, and yelled at me for still being here, even though she normally wakes me up. I just apologized like she wanted, and walked past to the kitchen, hopefully to get something to drink. Of course, she came around the corner and told me how much of an a*****e I am. How much of a dissappointment I am. I told her to leave me alone, and she got pissed off. She took fork, believe it or not, and threw it at me. It missed, and hit the blinds behind me, and they broke. Of course, she blamed me for that, and grabbed my hand. She twisted my pinky finger, which is now blue in the middle and i cant bend it. Rather then give her what she wanted, I just stayed looking at her, no emotion. She slapped me across the face a couple times, to the point that i had bitten my tongue and drawn blood. Satisfied, she left, and i went back to my room. All of this, I found it, is because shes going through withdrawal because she cant manage her pills correctly. As usual. Im really not sure what to do anymore. Im fairly certain my finger may be broken, or atleast fractured. The cut in my mouth wont stop bleeding. And she is still yelling at me. "Your just a ******** Idiot". here she comes to bang on my door. I got to go.
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