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Remembering Anna -----------------------
I remember when we fought. I remember when you gave me dirty looks, and whispered things under your breath to me, and when you told me you hated me. I also remember the good things. I try to only think about them. Mostly I think about that night, that tragic night I found out what happened. I felt like I couldn't breath. I felt like it wasn't real. I realized how real it was.
Never had I taken granted for anything ever again. When Jason and I fight, we always resolved it. I will never wish anyone to die. I had told Anna I wished she would die when I was 9 and she was 10. My words finally caught up with her. I'd take them back a thousand times if I could. Be careful what you wish for. I wanted a way to honor her. Something special for me and Jason to do for her. We always sat outside, the three of us, Justin, Anna and I. It was always cold in the fall, but we still loved the outdoors, the crisp air, the red trees and falling leaves. It was our place to forget everything else. Mother suggested making her a quilt. Each patch would contain a memory. I loved the idea. Almost a year later, Jason and I would be sitting outside huddled together in the quilt, remembering her.
Mom bought us the material, and we could construct it, with her help of course. We sat down at the table, with the pieces. For quite a while, we didn't know what to do or say. Justin finally broke the silence.
"She was a wonderful sister, I remember when I had built a diagram of the element Nitrogen for my science project. I worked so hard and painted every piece. Then the dog jumped on the table knocking it off and destroying it. Anna felt so bad, she thought it was her fault since she left food on the table and thats why Scruffy went up there. She spent the night fixing it for me. I was so greatful, but not enough." He fell silent.
"Nows our time to be greatful. You should put that on the quilt." Justin made a patch with a drawing of his model on it. That would go on. Before this, we never really spoke about her much, in fact, we rarely spoke in sentences at all.
"One time when we were little, we were in the woods playing in the mud. I got stuck in the mud," I chuckled. "I was wearing my new shoes and was really upset when I couldn't find them. Anna searched in the mud, got covered in mud, but found them for me and doug them out." Anna and I always had many adventures. We lived in a small neighborhood with woods in the back. We loved to play in the woods.
Anna was so bright and this was something I'd always been jealous of. I just can't believe she wasn't smart enough. Anna was a swimmer and was constantly training. One day when our mom told her not to go anywhere, but to stay home, she didn't listen. She went to the nearby river and swam out to practice for an upcoming competition. She was only 16. She got caught in the undertoe and drowned.
I made the sneaker patch and started making a patch with a picture of a house and splatters of paint. Jason asked me what it was. I told him the story about when Anna and I volunteered to help fix up a house that had a fire in it. When we were nearly finished painting, me and Anna got into a paint fight. I can't remember how it started now, but I do remember picking paint out of my hair for 3 days, same with Anna. It was a good laugh though.
"Think she's in heaven?" asked Justin.
"Of course." I said. We were quiet and I knew we were both thinking about the other good memories we had; like when we begged our parents to let us go trick-or-treating without them and the whole time we were clutched together shaking in fear regretting going alone. We were able to laugh about it later. We would always sit in the tree house and play with our dolls while Jason drew pictures of cars and robots. At this time, we looked at each other and both started crying.
"Why did she have to die?" Jason whimpered. We hugged from across the table.
We finished the pieces and the next day our mom assembled them onto the quilt. About a year later, Jason and I sat outside during the fall with our quilt. The sun shone on us and I felt like it was Anna saying "I'm here." I felt the warmth of it and knew she was. On the back we stitched the words "Love Justin and Raine".
 poptart_princess11 · Thu Nov 04, 2010 @ 02:35am · 0 Comments |
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