Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

I had a half 'o day today so I just came out of school and walked to the library but It wasnt open yet so I was just walkng up girard hoping that I wouldnt run into her but at the same time hoping that would. I walked all the way to macdonalds got me a ceasar salad then started walking down girard then I felt this wierd sensation and I started to walk towards her grandma's place I arrived there in a few minutes. then I was sitting on the bench in front of the place wondering if she was even in there. I sat there for a pretty long time before I realized I stupid for even thinking that I could see her there. the whole thing was just so wierd.......why do I continue to have feelings for this person even after all she did to me....why does my heart love her when I dont ever want to see her again....Its like I just dont have any control over it. As if it was instinct......as if I were born to love her. but she doesnt love me and in there lies the problem...you see love is a two-way thing...I cant just keep pumping out love when Im not getting a thing back. I dont know what to do...Im just going crazy I think Im just absolutely obsessed

here are some lyrics that explain what im feeling

I wish that I was free of this

I see her in my dreams
Wish that she wasn’t there
But she still haunts me and I
Still feel her breath on me
Still want to taste her skin
But I know that would kill me

No damn her
Still I choke on her lies
Still reeling from her last caress her goodbye

Oh how this sickens me
This wretched fools affair
I can’t erase this from me
And now it permeates
In every thought I feel
The anger burns in my soul

No damn her
Still I feel my stomach turn
Choke back hold my head high im strong

No damn her
Still I choke on her lies
Not reeling im strong

No damn her
Still I feel my stomach turn
choke back hold my head high im strong

No damn her
Still I choke on her lies
Not reeling im strong

I wish I was free of This