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Geez... Gaia... WTF happened? I was gone one summer, came back, and felt like a newbie with a stigmatism.. The site is better now? I dunno... I kinda like the quest thing. Although the prizes sucked a** on the first quest... trying to save up enough for a OMFG, that's difficult. Hmm... think i'm gonna go try and sell things.
 Jacked Off · Fri Nov 17, 2006 @ 03:22pm · 1 Comments |
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Gah.. I ******** hate people sometimes! Children... Teenagers... Adults... Sometimes just being around people is enough to send me on an emotional skydive. What I want is to have a house secluded from society, where the ground is always covered in snow, with a crapload of anime and hot choclate. I want to sit in a big comfy recliner and drink hot cocoa and watch anime until im ******** dead. And books, that's what I want. Anime and books. -sigh- Sometimes I wish I didn't have friends. And other times, im really glad I do. My senior year is going to be VERY lonely. I don't like anyone in my grade, and all of my underclassmen "friends" if you can call them that, have atleast one part of their personality that drives me insane. Or have betrayed me in some way that resulted in me hating them. I know im not exactly the easiest person to be friends with, being somewhat of a psychopath and mega-freak. And getting pissed off at people for no apparent reason. There are three thing I hate the most.
1. BEING IGNORED.
2. GETTING CALLED ANYTHING WITH THE WORD '********' IN IT.
3. ABANDONMENT.
You know what is stupid? A so called friend telling you to ask her out the next time she breaks up with her frequently on and off boy toy and when you do, she doesn't answer, says she will, and then begins dating him again, for the fiftieth time this year. And never even having the decency to say a two letter, one syllable word. NO. Not that I want to anymore. God no. Or how about someone (not the first person) telling you that they don't want a boyfriend and that they don't like anyone in a bf type of way, while the whole time they are dating a college guy. Could have atleast just said "I don't like you like that". for ******** sake. I try putting up with the lies and immature bullshit day after day. Im ******** tired of it. I tried being more 'fun' or whatever...
Jacked Off · Mon May 15, 2006 @ 06:05pm · 0 Comments |
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A small expereince that left a big scar. |
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Let me tell you all why I am afraid of two things, and two things only. Midgets and spiders. I saw a midget at a gas station when I was little, scared the ******** out of me because I thought it was some kind of monster. -shiver- And when I was small, a spider the size of my hand now crawled up to me and bit me while I was playing. crying Damn things. What are you all (My readers) afraid of? Afraid of snakes? How about cotton? Tell me, im curious.
Jacked Off · Tue May 09, 2006 @ 05:49pm · 4 Comments |
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v_v
I went to prom with a friend.
When you go to prom your supposed to try and stay around the person you go with, right? I tried that for a while. Then I gave up. She told a friend of mine that I "was following her around". Well duh. I wanted to be near her. Atleast for prom. You don't ask someone to prom so you can run off and stay away from them, right? If she didn't want to go with me she should have said so. The I wouldn't have wasted my money. The night was a bust. A bust that cost me around $200. And a crapload of physical labor at home. I have to clean and do crap outside a lot at my house. But I had to do a lot more to go to prom. And spend my own money renting the tux and such. It was quite a bit of trouble. But I went through it just to spend time with her. I'm not complaining, but I was just so hurt when she wouldn't even talk to me at afterprom. It was like she was avoiding me. The whole point of us going to prom together was so I could be around her! I never get to talk to her at school. So I wrote her a note. Asking her what had happened and saying I was angry and hurt at how it appeared she had acted. Now apparentlly she's mad at me. I should be the one that's pissed right? It took a lot of courage to ask her, and even though she dumped me a while ago I still have feelings toward her. Strong feelings...
Click here fora journal entry about her.
-sigh- All I wanted from the night was to spend some time with her and talk to her a little. That's more than most guys can say about prom night! My intentions were pure, and still I am scorned! What did I do? I really need to talk to her, but it scares the s**t out of me. Hopefully she'ss answer my note and say we can talk about things. I just need to know and then i'll leave her alone forever. I don't want to cut her from my life, but if she doesn't I will. Not because I hate her, but so I can heal myself and do my best to destroy the feelings I have for her.
Jacked Off · Mon May 08, 2006 @ 06:05pm · 0 Comments |
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List of things about me, for newcomers. |
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1. My email address is all over my school's website because I designed a few of the pages. XxpenguingangbangxX@hotmail.com ^_^
2. Im 17.
3. Im terrible at having fun.
4. I have no sense of humor.
5. I tend to forget that I exsist and am part of this world quite often.
6. I think of people like video game characters. v_v; Bad habit.
7. I see things that I know can't be there.
8. I don't usually get bored because im usually deep in thought.
9. I've figured out how to cheat the aging process.
10. I have a the useless ability to change my voice to that of a psychopathic serial killer.
11. Im related to Charlie Burger. A local legend and mass murderer.
Add: 04,25,2006--v
12. I have been told repeatedly by my parents friends that I look like a serial killer.
13. That doesn't sound like a bad proffesion.
14. Sometimes I really hate being around people, other times I get so lonely I talk to inanimate objects if theres no one around.
15. I hate talking to girls that have boyfriends. Unless I like your boyfriend and have no romantic feelings toward you.
16. There are very few guys I talk to on the internet, all from RL.
17. It's really difficult to freak me out or scare me.
18. I think girls that cut themselves are hot. v_v ; Im a bad person.
19. Pretty much all of my pervertedness died with my last relationship. (Well second to last if you want to get specific, but I do not consider the last one a relationship since it only lasted like 2 days. Still longer than I expected though)
20. I have violent mood swings
21. I hate seeing people in couples.
22. I hate seeing couples happy together and laughing.
23. I hate seeing other people happy.
24. I can be selfish and uncaring of others feelings.
25. I feel so sick and mixed up inside that I am incapable of feeling joy.
26. I can't remember the last time I was happy.
27. I'm not complaining here, just typing this crap makes me feel better for some reason, since if I try to talk to someone, they think im whining and complaining, but I just want someone to listen and not judge me...
28. I have problems with my lungs, and fully expect to die choking on my own blood.
29. I don't neccesarily want to die, im just tired of going through life.
30. I appreciate it when people help me, it's just that I cannot be helped.
Jacked Off · Mon Apr 24, 2006 @ 06:01pm · 2 Comments |
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Horray once more. -_-; Not. |
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Mood: Lonely and full of hatred. v_v '
-sigh-
I hate being alone.
Not that I want to be in a large crowd, I hate that more.
Just with one person.
Or dating someone I like.
Then I wouldn't feel like this?
No one likes me that way, so it doesn't matter.
No, it matters. In a negative way.
Well yeah, that's a given.
Not really, not everyone longs to be with someone.
I know, I feel that way sometimes too. Just wanting to be alone...
-sigh- I have no hope of finding love on the net, and don't even have the slightest whipser of a chance in rl. Why is finding my soul mate so important to me?!
I know it's a girl...
What does that have to do with it?
Everything.
Well thanks Mr. Cryptic.
Talking to myself.. I do that far too much.
Laughing... I can't do that. I feel like if I start laughing, i'll never stop.
It's happened before. I ended up sobbing on the floor and then fell asleep.
About 14 days until my birthday.
How ******** stupid.
I hate ageing.
I wanted to have someone by now...
Im too different in rl from my internet persona.
Couldn't find someone that way.
Not happy with internet relationships.
Alone?
Seems like that is my future.
You call that a future?
Have to call it something.
Then call it suckage.
Duh.
What? You retarded now?
Yes.
Makes sense.
Yes.
Maybe you should give in, just become a conformist Christian like so many others.
That isn't what I feel like inside.
Then we shall suffer.
Jacked Off · Tue Apr 04, 2006 @ 03:02pm · 1 Comments |
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Nope nothing here but an empty journal entry, til next time kids.
Jacked Off · Wed Mar 15, 2006 @ 12:16am · 2 Comments |
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The results are in... O_O |
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Some interesting results:
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
100%
Unipolar Depression
100%
Antisocial Personality Disorder
75%
Schizophrenia
50%
Borderline Personality Disorder
33%
Eating Disorders
33%
--------------------------------------------------------------Second one. Below.
Biting
100%
Bondage
100%
Blood
100%
Whips
92%
Chains/Handcuffs
83%
Blind Folds
33%
Jacked Off · Mon Mar 13, 2006 @ 01:21am · 0 Comments |
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