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So, my prom just went by this Saturday the 28th. It was pretty fun, and the after party was great too. I was in a great mood. Then at 10 o'clock last night my mom came in my room as I was looking at all the funny and cute prom pictures. Finally I had some pics of my and my boyfriend together. Neither of us really like our pictures being taken but hell, it was prom. Might as well let loose and take some, plus we were all dolled up. Anyway, I knew something was wrong the moment she came into my room because she called my brother in too and shut the door. Turns out my dad overdosed on a variety of pills in an attempt to kill himself due to something his drunk stepmother said to him...She may not have said anything all that bad really because before he went he literally chewed up and swallowed three patches he is supposed to wear on his arm. Obviously he was messed up before he even got to his parents house...
I just spent most of the night in the hospital, I wasn't brave enough to see him, as soon as they opened the door to the intensive care unit, I saw that back of his head and bawled. He was conscious when we left, stable but his heart rate was really low since he took a lot of blood pressure pills too. This morning my mom says he is worse. His blood pressure bottomed out and he is no longer conscious. He is under 24 hour, guarded care. We may be going in to see him, I'm not really sure...I know this may seem petty and whining to anyone who reads this but I just need to write it down, have it somewhere to read again. I guess this is my way of coping. I never really knew my father all that well, he has been struggling with drug addiction for many many years and I haven't really seen my real father since I was 5. He has been clean for a year apparently, moved back to Nova Scotia and was trying to make things better between him and my brother and me. I've only cried once so far and I really am not sure what I should be feeling. I'm pretty calm to be honest...or rather not feeling anything...I suppose I have nothing to be sad about, he's still alive right? I don't know maybe I'm just not good with emotions...anyway...I may write here again if I get more news...but basically this has been my past 48 hours. Prom, after party, home, hospital. I should be in school but I don't think I could get work done anyway. My boyfriend should be coming over soon, since he couldn't be there last night and he still had to get up for school...anyway that's about it for now. I may write more...