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Cloud9591: i had a friend nikki, and i've loved ofr for like 7 years, she has a bf who she plans on marrying so it's been like a secret love i have for her
Cloud9591: well i told her at the beginning of january that i love her and i can't be friends with her anymore because it tears me up inside
MaddMadameMymm: ...Andy, that's the most selfish thing I've ever heard
MaddMadameMymm: You can't help who you love, it's like punishing her because she's happy
Cloud9591: lol, you're the only one whose said that
Cloud9591: so i should just of gone on dying on the inside?
MaddMadameMymm: ^-^; I speak my mind
Cloud9591: because anytime i saw her, all those feelings came coming back
MaddMadameMymm: Self sacrifice? I think so. True love doesn't back down, it stays strong, it supports, and it aids in time of need.
Cloud9591: i will always be there for her, if she ever needed anything
MaddMadameMymm: Yeah, but you comprimized an important friendship.
MaddMadameMymm: It's like saying, I'm in love with you but because you can't see things my way we can't uphold something we've had for almost a decade
Cloud9591: towards the end, we weren't that good of friends, i saw her like once a week, that's what was so hard, i wouldn't see her for a week, and then i'd see her for afew hours
MaddMadameMymm: If someone had said that to me, I would have said: "Some friend you are then, ******** you. Who wants that kind of love."
Cloud9591: and i'd slowly start to feel better and then bam!
MaddMadameMymm: Alright Andy, I won't argue over this with you
Cloud9591: and i'm trying to get over these feelings so we can be friends again
Cloud9591: and i wasn't asking her to choose between me and him because i already knew she had no feelings for me
MaddMadameMymm: You're being to closed minded Andy, and only seeing what you were trying to accomplish (saving yourself pain) and not what u actually did. And now your justifing it
Cloud9591: yes i was trying to save myself pain, because as much as i hoped i knew there was on future between us
Cloud9591: so the best way to get over her is to not see her
MaddMadameMymm: LoL. I'm a passionate person, so we need to drop this topic
Cloud9591: nah we don't
Cloud9591: i'm just surprised because i havn't heard this side of the discussion
MaddMadameMymm: I'm getting upset though, Andy. I didn't pin you as that self-centered before
Cloud9591: maybe because your view of what being self centered is different
Cloud9591: everyone i've talked to, even non friends have agreed it was the right thing to do
MaddMadameMymm: I wonder how many people said that just to cushion the convo.
Cloud9591: none, because it was two friends who thought it was best that i did it
Cloud9591: i was thinking about doing it and they said "I think you should, it's best to get it out in the open"
MaddMadameMymm: Im sure it was good to say what you said andy, but what you did afterward was the part I think was selfish.
Cloud9591: what?
MaddMadameMymm: I am all for expressing yourself openly, it's the only way to live. I'm happy you told her what u needed to, it's apart of being honest.
MaddMadameMymm: But....
MaddMadameMymm: "i can't be friends with her anymore because it tears me up inside" is a sham
Cloud9591: lol, how so
MaddMadameMymm: It is because you chickened out of being friends with someone you care about because you were too big of a wuss to cope with your own feelings
Cloud9591: i know her, she wouldn't be comfortable being around me as friends if she knew i loved her more
MaddMadameMymm: -_-
Cloud9591: neither would her boyfriend
Cloud9591: i mean, you're saying if i said "Britty, i love you, i've always loved you and i want to be with you" you'd feel completely fine about hanging out the next day
Cloud9591: and your boyfriend would be okay with it
MaddMadameMymm: I don't date dudes, Andy, I'm a lesbian. And yes, even I wasn't... it would be awkward, but it would get better over time.
Cloud9591: lol, maybe that explains something
MaddMadameMymm: What's that suppose to mean?
Cloud9591: i dunno
MaddMadameMymm: Erm.
Cloud9591: i just havn't talked to a lesbian about this then i dunno, maybe there are different views or something
MaddMadameMymm: Everyone is human, Andy, and it has nothing to do with me being a lesbian. It has to do with the value I put on my friends
 ReddAlice · Thu Mar 31, 2005 @ 06:38pm · 0 Comments |
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