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Been a bad day. So bad, that I wrote to the KidsHelpline (in Australia) website. Its a website for kids or any person who is depressed, sad, lonely, etc, and needs counseling, or needs someone to talk to. So I sent them an email about how bad my day was.
I hope they reply...it'd be good to hear someone's advice on how to improve my situation.
I also subscribed to the beyondblue.com newsletters, and they're gonna be sent to my house. They may help me feel better.
Most of my problems are because of my weight, and how fat I am.
I feel even fatter when I see girls at my school with waists that are....barely see-able! They're so small...so skinny...it makes me feel...so...different.
And I've got a HUGE chest (and I'm only 13) which makes me look even fatter. Its the reason some of my clothes look so bad on me. I hate my body...I hate myself...I hate everything about my life.
Even my friends are bitches.....sometimes I wanna end it; but I don't wanna miss out on my Japanese lessons at school, and I wanna get better at drawing!
I wanna learn how to draw hands...
I wanna learn how to be a good vet!

These are the only reasons I want to lead the rest of my life. If it wasn't for my stupid goals, -which I'll probably never succeed in-, I would probably have killed myself long ago.

And its probably this stupid fear...fear of pain...I feel it so much...but it hurts so much...that I'm scared of it.
I don't understand myself sometimes...

And no, I'm not EMO! I'm just pissed off because everyone wants to piss me off. Okay, I'm not emo, but I am emotional. I cry everyday, at least, and its kinda what makes me feel better anyway!

I better go now...I have stuff to do. Bye smile