I had yet another fight dream only it was between me and Krissy at the club. I don't know how it got started but she punched me and I grabbed her by the chest and picked her up. I was about to throw her across the place but Ridge came and tried to get me to stop. I was pissed because he was taking her side. He and I both knew I could have killed her but she threw the first hit and I wasn't going to take it, not from her.
Just then Kitarro came and shot me in the chest. That's when I let her go and used my hand to hold the wound from bleeding. Of course that didn't work. There was blood flowing down like a fountain. Just blood all over the floor. I just looked at Kitarro with a calm shock kinda look. All I got out of him was "What?". I think Krissy was just in shock that I was shot. Ridge took a hold of me cause I started to get dizzy. He then dimmed me to the hospital. Next thing I knew I was laying in a hospital bed to heal.
My uncle then comes in and tries to heal me but I push his hand away. I didn't want to be healed like that. It was either heal on my own or not make it. He got mad at me and tried to convince me to just be healed but I pointed to the door telling him to leave. He was shocked that I was kicking him out. I just didn't care anymore. I guess I didn't want to live. I also remember Ridge sitting there when I woke up. He stood by my side the whole time but for some reason I couldn't get a smile or give him a reason why I wanted to hurt her. I guess I felt it wouldn't have mattered what I said. I didn't say anything to anyone. I just felt sad and as sad as I was I couldn't shed one tear.
It really was not a good dream. I think I wanted to die in that dream and if I had continued the dream I probably would have died from complete sadness.
cry
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Saiyan Anna's Journal
Sometimes happy thoughts leave my mind and other times are gloomy. Depends on my mood really. Venting it really the best thing to do. That is what I do.