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Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be
before they are considered assassinated
instead of just murdered?

If money doesn't grow on trees then
why do banks have branches?

Since bread is square,
then why is sandwich meat round?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"..
but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"?
Where's that extra penny going to?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

How is it that we put men on the moon
before we figured out it would be a good idea to
put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby"
when babies wake up like every two hours?

If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory,
will they fire you?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings
and then put money in binoculars to
look at things on the ground?

Why do people drive on parkways
but park on driveways?

How come we choose from just two people for President
and fifty for Miss America?

Why do doctors leave the room
while you undress? They're going to
see you naked anyway.

If a 911 operator has a heart attack,
whom does he/she call?

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say,
"I think I'll squeeze these dang things here,
and drink whatever comes out!"

Why do toasters always have a setting
that burns the toast to a horrible crisp,
which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

When your photo is taken for your driver's license,
why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped
by the police and asked for your license,
are you going to be smiling?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares,
why is there a stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse
drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can
make a radio out of a coconut,
why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist
when asking for the time, but don't point
to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does Goofy stand erect while
Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

Can blind people see their dreams?
Do they dream?

If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to
buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil
is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

Did you ever notice that when you blow
in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but
when you take him for a car ride,
he sticks his head out the window?

Do the Alphabet song and
Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?