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My Dad Needs Help!
I would appreciate if someone can explain this to me; as for I have now been completely stumped and stymied by this revelation. Allow me to explain. As many of you know California is stead fast and deep in the most complex turmoil to date. No, it is not the outcome of the recall election, nor is it the raising of the automotive registration fees. It is not even the ever-increasing inflated home prices. No, it came to me as I was sharking around the parking lot of my favorite storefront today and looking for that ever-elusive parking space. I finally found one at the very back corner and moved in at a rapid but safe speed to conquer and claim this most prized piece of real estate at the local Stater Bro.'s grocery store. Now at Ralph's, Vons, and Albertson's this would not be necessary due to the fact that there are many open spaces in their parking lots, but they also have a small problem, they do not have store checkers due to a small issue called a strike. As I make the 10-minute journey to enter the store I watch as my fellow neighbors barter with the customers leaving, for the elusive shopping carts. Deals are made in cash, physical labor, and broken promises in order to obtain these carts as not have to wait for the few returns that are coming back (again sounds like our recent recall election doesn't it). Now I am of a unique stature because all I need is three small items today. As I ponder why I did not send my child to endure this pain is beyond me. As I weed thru the aisles, dodging the masses who are stocking up as if we are going to have a 8.0 magnitude earthquake, in the path of a major hurricane, or the eve off the New Millennium! I grab the last remaining Pork Chops, find the marinade, and cling to the very ripe fruit salad. I make a dash to the Express Lane to stand in line like a frustrated motorist during the fuel crisis of the 1970s. Granted this is my even day (Dori has the odd days) and I have $15.00 worth of groceries to buy but to loose my place in line for the Quart of Jamoca ice cream I cannot do (not even for my Dearest Dori will I leave this line!). I read the latest headlines and learn a lot. Halle Berry is finally leaving here alien husband, I can to loose 103 lbs in fifteen minutes, the new episodes of 24 are going to be aired this week, and if Dori read this report in this one magazine she will know every intimate detail of my childhood without even asking me a single question. Then right there in front of me stood the one question staring out at me that I could not answer. I have finally been stumped. This must be the true meaning of life and I need help with the answer. So here is the question I ask. Reece's Peanut Butter Cups has a put out a "Limited Edition" Peanut Butter Cup. Now if it is a Limited Edition am I supposed to save it? Will it become a collector item? What happens if I eat it will I be scarred for life because I could have paid for my children education with this single candy bar? Or am I destined to lose sleep wondering how to preserve this sacred candy. I know Chocolate has a shelf life of approximately 5 years before it begins to spoil, but how long will it take this candy to become of value? So that is my question. If anyone can answer this ever-important question and let me know on how to approach this delicate issue I would greatly appreciate it before I require psychiatric counseling.
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