Continuing from my last journal entry, I decided to run away with Ren but before I could do that I had to say goodbye to everyone at the spot and grab some of my things. As I walked around the place as if it was really my last time seeing it, I couldn't help but have a feeling that I was giving up to easily and knowing me, that is something I would never do without putting up a fight.
I started to feel terrible for no apparent reason for what I did to Kato after I hit him. I didn't even know him, so I thought, but I know why. My heart was hurting like his heart was hurting. The pain was unbearable sometimes, especially when I was around him. Desparate to find anyway to remember him, I banged my head on the bar multiple times. Each time getting harder and harder intill I cracked the bar along with my skull. The final hit made me fall head bleeding on the floor in the corner where I lay unconscience and in a deep sleep. I felt like I was laying there for hours, (I think I mite have) soaking in my own blood.
I awoke later in a blurred dazed with my clothes and hair stained with semi-dry blood. I think I worsen my condition by doing such a stupid thing. I should have used a mallet (j/k everybody xd ). I laid on the floor and waited for death to embrace me, but then I remembered I had some things to do before I died, like see my new godchild be born into this world. I couldn't leave this world yet but it was too late to save myself. I tried one last time to get up but I felled right back on my back. Later on when my vision still blurred, I saw Neko. She had found me and tried to heal me but I couldn't let her do that in her current condition. She was to weak to walk herself and needed as much strength as she could get. So I refused her help but she insisted that I needed it more then she did. She managed to almost heal my head but I still refused her help and tried to stumbled away from her. Neko used up to much strength and tired herself out. She started to cough up blood on the floor and before she phase out she told me to live. How could I refuse?
The next thing I knew I was on a table slowly bleeding from my head. I was too tired to heal myself so I took a nap. I now know I can't sleep when I have a concusion or it could be fatel. Thank goodness Shadis woke me up when she saw the blood on the table. I saw Kato but was too weak to tell if it was him or Ren. I naturally thought it was Ren, I got a closer look to see that it was Kato healing my head wound with some herbs from his mother. He manage to finish off what Neko started but once again I pushed him away.
Shadis had told me that he still loved me no matter what and still came to help me even with his demon trying to take over. What other guy would do that for me after the way I treated him? He kissed me one last time before leaving and if I still wanted to remember to meet him at North Harbor Pier 7 . As soon as he left, a small fragment of my memory returned. Was it his kiss?
Nataro then gave me a photo album of the past events at the Spot. I remembers all the photos except the ones with Kato in them. I then saw pictures of me and him together looking happy as ever. It surprised me...when was I ever happy like this? If Shadis and Nataro say that he really is my love then I know I can trust them. I didn't have time to lose, so in my weak condition I flew half way before almost collasping again. My will to see him again was the only thing to keep me going.
heart ~*To be continued*~ heart
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Just like I promised I would never on you... heart