|
Tis another day that has gone and pass~
Its been awhile..Since my mom and sister, and everyone else on her side of the family talked to me in a considerable manner. ..I wish to know what I have done so wrong to not win their favor and expectation. Was it because I moved out to my dads? Some say that, yes. But yet my mother says, "A mother and daughter relationship is a give and take; and you Grace, you have only been taking..I will be on the other end of the phone if you want to try and make things better."I have been giving...is she so blind to realize that? My sister wants to be apart of my life, yet she stated that she wants nothing to do with me.
Mother says I was born as a second chance, that when she and my father where together she messed up raising April, so I was her second chance..I didn't know what to say to that, or what to accept it as..To take it as a compliment or an insult. I want to be apart of their lives..I do. I want us to get together and just sit an talk without any grudges held against each other..I want to feel loved by them so badly.. I don't want to feel like s**t, or that I'm not needed everytime I try and go over there..but I know that, thats impossible. They said there is something wrong with me, I have tried to figure it out but I haven't found anything thats wrong with me...Is it the way I look, talk, act..? Is it my choice on things?
Well..whatever it is, they need to accept that the way I act, talk, look, is how I am. That I am not going to model into what they want me to be..N I guess if they can't accept that then I don't need them. I don't need family like that..No body does. I just realized that as I was thinking about it..It is I that will be waiting for them to accept me. Even though it hurts me I will wait..I will wait for the day when they say "I love you, Grace" and truly mean it. So until then and on I will try my best to keep myself together, to not break down over the small things they say or do, and not get upset over every little thing they say.
So today, o-o I did nothing, as usual.
WEll, I can't say that. I did play DDR for a few hours- More like the whole day. Zomg, there was a dust storm today! I've never seen one in person, I might have but never remembered it. N Joey came over today, yay! He tried playing DDR but totally sucked at it, xD. Which is okay. We all do when we first start out. I finally got down Flow! Its hard as hell!!!! =D We went to the Chinese Buffet, it was uber delicious. I got full after two dishes. Which is sad because I'm usually hungry as ever. >> I guess eating those cookies before we left didn't help any. xD
Current Song: Flow -true style- - Scotty D. revisits U1
 The Jenova Project · Sun Feb 25, 2007 @ 04:08am · 1 Comments |
