Wow so I'm looking into seeing a therapist... that just sounds horifing all on it's own. I don't think there's anything wrong with threpy.. just not for me. That sounds horried. I'm one of thouse people who I'm great to just 'deal' with stuff. What I really mean is I push it away and ignor it. I take care of everyone else's problems and keep myself on the back burner. What's wrose it that I don't think I help people to help them but to help me feel like I'm usful. All my friends say I'm such a great friend but if I'm just helping them to make me feel good about my self, does that make me an actual good friend?
I had a long talk with my mom tonight. She feels bad about my issues and thinks she should have been a better mom. I think she was the best mom any one could ever have. We both a agree that my issues probably come from my sister. I love her to death but I don't like her. She hit and hurt me a lot as a child and my parents could never figure out a way to stop her. My mom thinks she should have found a way. I think she did all she could.
I also have a slight weight issue I'm not fat but I'm curvy I'm 5'9 and I CAN NOT go under 200LBS It just stops there it's what my weight loss center says is a mental block and until I deal with these issues I won't loose any more.
The last issue I have is with males. I know I'm straight (Women just don't turn me on) but I can't stand a male touching me. It makes me feel horriably dirty. Like they leave this trail of dirt on me after they touch me. I know it's rediculas and they're not but I feel like they are. I love men and love being around them. I apperciate them for how hot they look but I can't stand to have them touch me. My friend says this is a sign of being sexually molested but I can't ever remember any time I was.
Anyone know what I should do?
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