I'm not going to be on the computer starting 6:00 PM EST Sunday.
Eh, here's a poem I wrote because... I can. And I write poetry only out of frustration. Assigned poems always reflect my frustration too.
Hopelessness consumes my heart
more than it ever has
I want to cry
But my eyes don't want to
They are dry, emotionless
I can feel the pain and sorrow
overflowing inside of me
My last hopes
shattered
He says he's not the badguy,
and he's right
It is the harsh reality
of a life not meant to be
I'm becoming even more mentally unstable
Not longing to die, but to kill
Kill anything in my way
It's not entirely my fault
that I feel the way I do
Oh no. Society has done
this to me, as it has corrupted
many others.
Not in the same way, but everyone
has been corrupted by society.
Needless to say, I am full of hate
I need that one, only person
to hold me close and comfort me
as I cry in her arms
The only one I can cry for
She is there to support me
I know this
She said she loves me
More than anything in the world
I believe this
Even if she stops loving me
I want to keep my reason to live
This love will not fade away
I have already come to hate so many
but there is always that strong feeling
the feeling of love
for those special people
those who keep me going
they show me much respect
and love, unlike my dad
whom I've lived with for so long
No, he's not the badguy
I'm just out of place
I don't belong
I must find it
where I should be
where my freedom
has no price
I wrote this because... I was thinking about what my dad said. He doesn't care how I view things. People, friends. He just cares about me getting an education. What good is it to get into a college you won't be able to stand? I won't be able to stay near all the people. My dad told me that I'm not here to make friends. Indirectly, I think he's saying that he wants to look good for raising me. Now he just wants me to pass high school. I'll pass high school for him alright, then I'll show him that I can succeed in life. After ruining his. He has no idea he lives under the same roof as a (as Sable called it) "sexually confused" girl. (Meaning either lesbian or bisexual, though it seems closer to lesbian.)
Wow, that poem and rant was long. Seriously. And it probably half makes sense to people reading.
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