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I'm going through a lot of stress. I just need a break from everything. And I mean everything. I'm starting to go down a raod that I've been down once before, and I hate it. I don't want to go back, but it seems like that is the only way to keep myself sane. I don't want to forget everyone and everything, and I don't want to not care about the people and things that I love, but I don't think I can stop myself. There is so much that I want to say, but either I don't know how to say it, or I don't know who to say it to. There are things that I needed to talk about that most people shouldn't know about me, and I want to keep it that way. I wish that it wasn't so cold and snowy. Maybe then I could go to the park with Kokutan and just forget about all of my worries for a bit.

I hate not knowing what to do. I know from personal experience that ignorance truely is bliss, but there are just some things one must know. And, it really sucks when you only know half of what you need to know. I remember when I was a total ditz, and stupid, but at least I was happy. Then, I grew some more, and life sucks. I want to know, but at the same time I wish that I could return to my former self, before I had traveled down his road the first time. I don't want to go this way again. It's like walking in thick mud. Sure, the scenery is beautiful, but when you try to move, your feet get sucked in and when you finally get to a dry spot, you leave big muddy footprints on the ground, and there is nothing you can do to keep yourself clean. The dirt and mud will never go away.

Well, I'm going to try and end this happily. Last night, Willi showed me this site with a bunch of uber cute Lolita clothes. I really wants like... all of them. xD Lolita clothes are soooo cute, but I don't think I'd look good in any of them. I don't think I'd /fit/ in any of them [[for reasons not to be mentioned to the puplic]]. x3 And I saw that they ship over-seas [[It's a japanese site]]! I wonder if Mom would let me get something...? Ahh well. Does anyone know where one can find lolita clothes here in the U.S.? Does anyone know where one can find fishnet shirts and gloves here in the U.S.? xD [[Hot Topic doesn't sell them anymore.]]