And so begins one of my more crackity fanfics...
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, or Torani strawberry syrup. If I did, I'd probably spend less time writing crackity fanfics like this, and more time doing things actually worthwhile.
It was a day Yuki Sohma never forgot. Pancakes. That was what was for breakfast. Tohru was kind enough to make her delicious pancakes. Only these were served with Torani strawberry syrup.
Yuki Sohma was always a neat eater. The same, however, could not be said for Kyo Sohma. Bits of pancake and strawberry syrup were flying everywhere. And when one splash of strawberry syrup landed on Yuki, that's when the chaos began.
“Oh my God!” Shigure yelled, “Yuki is pink! He’s so much more interesting now!”
Yuki wondered if Shigure had been hanging out with Ayame lately. Shigure hadn’t annoyed him quite like this in a while. Shigure started pouring the strawberry syrup on Yuki’s hair. Yuki, needless to say, did not like this. Not one bit.
He sighed. “I’m gonna take a shower.”
“You can’t, Yuki!” Shigure exclaimed, “You’ll be late for school!” Shigure pushed him out the door, pink hair and all.
Yuki Sohma was walking down the street. It was an ordinary Saturday…
“Wait! It’s Saturday!” Yuki exclaimed, “Damn Shigure! I’m going home to shower!”
So Yuki Sohma walked back home to shower the evil Torani strawberry syrup out of his hair. Until he was brutally glomped by Yuma and Saya.
“What is this I see?” Yuma asked.
“It’s a pretty boy!” Saya squealed.
They both looked at each other, then yelled, “Pinkhouse attack!”, pulled out a dress (out of nowhere?), and took advantage of how purdy Yuki was at the moment.
“He.” (Yuma)
“Looks” (Saya)
“Adorable!” (Both)
“Wait.” Saya said, “I think this’ll be even cuter!”, and they put him in a nurse’s outfit. Yuki distracted the annoying duo by directing them toward his brother’s shop. Unfortunately, they’d stolen his clothes, so he had to walk home in this ridiculous outfit. It was horrible. In fact, He kinda looked like…
“Nurse Joy! My love!” Brock yelled, “How long have I waited to see you without the other ‘young heroes’ here to restrain me!”
“What the?” Yuki yelled, “Who are you? Who’s Nurse Joy?”
“Oh Nurse Joy! Don’t you toy with my emotions!”
Yuki switched the nurse’s outfit with Brock’s clothes, and left.
“I don’t believe it.” Brock exclaimed, “This outfit! So breezy! So refreshing! No wonder Nurse Joy is always in good spirits!”
So Yuki ran home to take that shower he’d been waiting so long for. He went into his room, changed into a fresh pair of clothes (For Brock’s had the odd but fruity aroma of a Bulbasaur), and lied on the floor.
“I’m glad that’s all over.” he sighed. His stomach growled. “I wonder what Tohru made for lunch…”
He left his room to eat, only to find Shigure right outside, with two bottles of Torani strawberry syrup, which he poured right on Yuki. Then he locked him out of the house.
Yuki went into the forest to emo. There he sat, under a tree, covered in Torani strawberry syrup. Of course, the worst possible thing had to happen. Kazutaka Muraki.
“Oh look,” he said to himself, sarcastically, “A pretty little boy! What a shame… he’s all alone and covered in blood. Whatever shall I do?”
And Muraki… well, he did things that, if known by his classmates, would definitely revoke his “Prince Yuki” title.
“All done.” Muraki whispered, “Wasn’t that wonderful, bon? I hope you enjoyed that as much as I did.” He walked off, and laughed menacingly.
Yuki sat there in shock for a few hours, trying to forget the whole horrible experience. Actually, he tried to forget the whole day. Yuki left, and while he was walking home, looked back on his day. This caused him to yell out, “Damn it! I hate strawberries!” The word for strawberry in Japanese, however, is ichigo. And unfortunately, Ichigo Kurosaki was within earshot of this.
“What was that?!” he yelled, and began to fight Yuki. Only Yuki though he was Kyo, because honestly, who else with orange hair would be attacking him at a time like this?
“Stupid cat!” he yelled, “What’s wrong with you?! Can’t you see I’m not in the mood?! And what’s with the spiky hair, huh? Been stealing Haru’s hair gel, haven’t we?”
Ichigo stopped punching Yuki. “Who’s Haru?” he asked.
“Your cousin, idiot.”
“I don’t have a cousin Haru.”
“Yes you do! The cow guy? Does that ring a bell?
“Cow guy? What?!”
Kyo then walked up, drinking a Slurpee. “Hey Yuki. Whoa! Who’s that?!”
The next day. Ichigo Kurosaki had his memory of “Haru, the cow guy” (which evidently, looked a lot like the FMA author) erased. Yuki had his Muraki memory erased, and Shigure got a court restraining order put on him. Now he can’t be within 50ft of Torani strawberry syrup. As for the others: Yuma, Saya, and Ayame are having a wonderful time at his shop, while Brock is looking there to buy another nurse’s outfit. And Muraki is, well… he’s being Muraki. ‘nuff said.
“I’m glad everything’s back to normal… well, as normal as it can get around here.” Yuki said, smiling. And it was back to normal. Except Kyo, who now has spiky hair because he thinks Ichigo looks so cool.
The moral of this story is: Torani strawberry syrup does not belong in a fruits basket.
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