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Okay so...maybe I love everyone the same. I find my self being pulled in two different directions. It just feels like that friends try to put other people over me and that makes me feel terrible. crying I get jealous because I feel that they don't want to be close to me. I doubt the friendship because of the way they act towards me even when they know I act that way with everyone. gonk

I don't understand people and why they feel that there is only one person in their life they have to care about. I swear to god that if I could change one thing about the world it would be the way people view love because they don't see it how I do and I end up getting hurt because I love people to much. crying All I ever do is sit in my room all ******** day and talk to people, some people might say thats worthless but at least I am not killing my self! scream I suppose it could be worse...but then it could also be better to. Not many people understand my possition. Its like freakin nobody gets it and I am tired of caring about people who don't care back. I give up everything for other people and ask nothing in return but love. How is that selfish? sad question

When it comes to friends and them having a girlfriend/boyfriend then its like they feel less about me. At least thats how I feel about it. They forget about me. But yet I have a boyfriend and I don't do that to them. I don't see how just anything can be that way...you say you love a friend yet you turn around and just not pay attention to them when it comes to some guy/girl. I never had much friends growing up, actually none at all. I don't have a social life and what I do have of one it is online. It just feels like people think I am stupid or something just cuz I am a bit emotional. You know I think everyone can be emo at times but ******** that! Sure...I complain..but not very often. I mean for goodness sake how would you feel if I didn't care about you and just cared about my boyfriend? I think you would feel pretty bad. stare

I love alot of people but sometimes...It just feels like they stab me in the back like I am some type of doll they can just throw around. Well you know what....this doll is coming alive and if you do it again I am gonna kill you chucky style. WHAT IN THE UNIVERSE DID I DO TO MAKE PEOPLE THIS s**t!!!!!!!!! scream I did nothing but be a friend and try to care but every time I do they cut my wings and send me plunging down into the city of dispair like I didn't even matter. WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE! (is addessed to only some people not all)

People who read this know who you are. You know you made me feel bad and you know you think bad things about me. For those of you who do not...I thank you for being there for me as you are the greatest gift any person could ever have. crying heart



To my boyfriend and his girl, I thank you both for being there, you changed my life and my way of thinking! No one has ever done so much for me and I love you both!!!!!!!!!!! heart heart heart crying (tears of joy)



You know though...I just don't understand alot of things about life and why people do the things they do. I know many things about the past and somewhat of how things are but omg...when it comes to love and friendship you can just forget that because its so ******** hard to understand you will explode trying to even do so! gonk

For those of you who read this I love talking to you and care about all of you even though some of you hurt me. For those that do please show more respect for me and my feelings like I do for yours. And for the ones that always were there for me I thank you again and urge you to keep caring for me just as I do for you. =3

Thanks for reading all of you. (leave comments. 3nodding )