[Update]
If you don't know.. This is my confused color. My life is going crazy and I've got to much to keep up with.... So much anger building up inside I can barely take it. Once again music is keeping me alive, singing screamo, screaming my heart out on songs until the tears finally fall. Why does life have to be so confusing.
Life sucks when you feel alone... But what I wonder is stuff that helps me, like screamo, people are so against it its crazy. Anyway, school is getting a slight bit easier to bare... People don't ******** with me now, but mid-terms/finals are driving me to the brink.
This is a depressing jurnal, cause basicly I'm not alright. I'm loosing it, and my mind is slipping left and right and I have nothing to hold onto. The crossroads are back again. An inner part of me is clawing at my skin, its gripping my stomach until it hurts and it wants to get out, but my mind wont release it. Inner conflicts suck.
So what happened to Cody? Hes great, but we broke up. Suprise, we're to on and off now, I can barely hold a stable relationship with myself let alone another person. My mood swings kick in and I go psyco. To many changes at once are setting off my mood issues, especally anger.
Why do people tell me not to be angry at myself, not to take it out on me, when that means I have to take it out on someone else? I'm dragging people into this with me... And in my mind I know they shouldn't even be anywhere near it. I want to be isolated so I wont hurt anyone but I can't be. Because then everyone forces themself into my life anyway!
Anyway, my gaia life? :
I'm still questing for the OMG and no where near it. Thats about all... Put in a new music vid. My emotions inside and out? Heh. Thats all.
If you don't know.. This is my confused color. My life is going crazy and I've got to much to keep up with.... So much anger building up inside I can barely take it. Once again music is keeping me alive, singing screamo, screaming my heart out on songs until the tears finally fall. Why does life have to be so confusing.
Life sucks when you feel alone... But what I wonder is stuff that helps me, like screamo, people are so against it its crazy. Anyway, school is getting a slight bit easier to bare... People don't ******** with me now, but mid-terms/finals are driving me to the brink.
This is a depressing jurnal, cause basicly I'm not alright. I'm loosing it, and my mind is slipping left and right and I have nothing to hold onto. The crossroads are back again. An inner part of me is clawing at my skin, its gripping my stomach until it hurts and it wants to get out, but my mind wont release it. Inner conflicts suck.
So what happened to Cody? Hes great, but we broke up. Suprise, we're to on and off now, I can barely hold a stable relationship with myself let alone another person. My mood swings kick in and I go psyco. To many changes at once are setting off my mood issues, especally anger.
Why do people tell me not to be angry at myself, not to take it out on me, when that means I have to take it out on someone else? I'm dragging people into this with me... And in my mind I know they shouldn't even be anywhere near it. I want to be isolated so I wont hurt anyone but I can't be. Because then everyone forces themself into my life anyway!
Anyway, my gaia life? :
I'm still questing for the OMG and no where near it. Thats about all... Put in a new music vid. My emotions inside and out? Heh. Thats all.
