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As some of you are probably aware, John and I have broken up, and for good this time. No I am not thrilled, but I am not so depressed as last time. Yes I am sad, and I have the right to be. I love John, and I care for him deeply, but that's not always enough.
He is a good guy, with a few faults, as am I. I am a good girl I believe, with quite a few faults. One of the differences we have is he can forgive and forget easily. I do not. If someone has seriously hurt me, I can't find it my heart to forgive them for a long time. Another thing that got to me (but wasn't what killed the relationship exactly) is the fact that I was blamed for everything that went wrong in the relationship. It seemed as if he didn't want to admit that he didn't give as much effort as he may have thought. "What do you want?" He asked me. I am 17. 17, Seventeen, a teenager. Not even out of H!School. I don't know what I want. I am not obligated to know what I want. I have an idea. That statement he made that night made me think. Of course I feel bad for doing it 10 minutes from our anniversary, but why prolong something that was going to end?
I know, no matter how bad I may feel for hurting him, that I did the right thing. It was inevitable (in Bianca's words). I am moving, and I am not going to stay with him while I am living in Texas. I don't think he expected it either. He didn't do anything so horribly wrong that I broke up with him, I wasn't happy, and that isn't his fault. He's in a college in Lafayette and busy, and with his car troubles, and a few problems that I have been dealing with (not related to him, nor am I telling any of you. My business.) we haven't been able to see each other much at all. I don't feel I did anything wrong. Yeah, maybe the timing was bad, 10 minutes before we are due to make a year isn't exactly the kindest thing in the world. But the way I felt, it was now or never (or 6 months later).
If he sees this, than I hope he will not think of me badly. I care for his wellbeing, and hope that if he is still hurting, he heals quickly. I hope that college goes by smoothly for him, with little problems, and the car (damn thing) fixes itself so he doesn't have to invest something like a million years worth of time, energy, and money in it. I hope he lives happily, and maybe one day, he will speak to me, and we can start over as friends.
I did what I did as kindly as possible, and hopefully, he'll see that.

So to him I say : Take care, and I hope you lead a happy life.


And that's all I have to say I think.