Poke-poke.
Squelch.
Jiggle-wiggle.
Stab.
CONK.
Eww...
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I. HATE. HIKING.
I suppose you want to know why. So here we are, all of us from LO and our dear friends, tramping across a marsh. How'd we get to the marsh? Well, lemme see.
Take 580 steps straight forward from Fae's bedroom window, turn 28 degrees and 13 minutes to the left, and continue for 5281 feet. Then, go right for three steps, forward for 5, backwards 8, left 19, forward 1, backward 2, right 8...no, that's not right. Wait, it's not left. I don't remember. But if you hike for 11 days and 16 hours, you'll get there. A bogland.
I'm at the back of the train, strangely enough. Fae and Yunsi head the column; I can hear their raucous singing from here. Must still be on that booze from Thanksgiving. We've had a lot of leftovers, you know, even if Nerfe insists that the wine can age for another year. I really have to agree. Don't have to finish it all before Christmas, you know.
Speaking of Nerfe, he's right behind them. I can also hear the empty sound of glass bottle hitting brainless skulls. Des and his shadow spirit lurks behind them, followed by Adri and Sar, who keep pointing and giggling at the farting bubbles of brown goo at their feet. Really, it's gross. Not funny. I watch as one spits out a dragonfly. Eww. x.x
YYugi trots along behind them, carefully lifting up the hem of his clothes. I suppose if you can't buy the clothes you want, you've got to preserve the ones you have! Rampage sloshes about the mud before me, a brown moving lump with two white eyes rather than a black one. That omfg is never sitting on my head again. And that leaves me, glaring and kicking the brown moving lump before me at occasional intervals.
"Move it!" I yell, kicking Rampage again. It squeaks, then bounces on happily in the mud. Stupid thing. >.<
Suddenly, it's silent. o.o No squelching mud sucking at our feet and shoes, no off-key singing from the front, not bottles hitting skulls. No giggling, no wind, no birds chirping. The only sound is Rampage's happy little squeaking. Closing my eyes, I aim my foot in the direction of the annoying sounds. My foot connects with something, and suddenly, a squeal breaks the silence. The sound slowly fades, and a few moments later, a resounding crash shakes the foliage around us. Hmm. That's better.
But it's still silent. Must be time for...
"LUNCH!" Fae announces happily.
Everyone clamors about on the only dry piece of ground, reaching into the basket. Old turkey, cranberry sauce, potatoes, gravy, and salad come out, followed by a few crusty loafs of bread. Yeah, it's what you're thinking. Thanksgiving leftovers.
I carefully prod at a turkey thigh. The skin yields slightly, then bounces back in place. I carefully prod the container of cranberry sauce. It's stiffer than jello with equal amounts of starch. The potato powders like anhydrous salt after a hydrate's been seperated.
It's been the same thing ever since that dreaded holiday. xC
I mean, we never cook just enough. We had stuff hidden in the storage everywhere in the kitchen after the feast. We only remembered it when the kitchen was ant-raided. Reaching gingerly into the basket, I pull out something covered in tin foil.
Pie. Just great.
However, no one else seems to mind. All of them chatter happily, somehow eating the old food. Eh, I suppose if we happen to get lost, we'll have some kind of sustanance. After all, no animal's going to come after this stuff. And besides, if we can digest this, we can digest rocks, doncha know?
Grrr...I chew the turkey meat. Kinda like rubber.
"Hey, anyone want this?" I wave it over my head.
"Nyah."
"I'll trade you my baked potato."
I shrug, exchanging with Des. The rock hard potato can't be too different.
Oww. Nevermind. When Sar isn't looking, I filch her pie and put the potato there. She gnaws on it, not even noticing. Ah well.
Mm. Not too bad. A little bitter, a little sweet...the best.
"Squeak!"
A small lump of mud bounces out of the undergrowth, helping itself to everyone's food. Small, muddy toothprints show up on their food. What bad manners!
"Rampage..."
With another squeak, it jumps onto my head, latching on. A dollop of mud falls on my cheek.
Yay.
==========
Author's Notes:
Eww. x.x The leftovers had to be incorporated, you know.
Sar, if you read this, or Fae, you remember the anhydrous salt, don't you? xDD
Sorry it's not as long or as funny as the other ones. I promise that when I get the new year's one up, it'll be more fun. Can't say so much for the Christmas one, tho. I still don't know what's gonna happen yet.
Snow
SnowPheonix · Sat Dec 09, 2006 @ 08:17pm · 7 Comments |