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LOL this is stupid
AHHHHHHHHH.
Here's a great IM conversation I had with a friend.
SUE STORY!!!














(01:10:22) PersonA: SUE
(01:10:27) PersonA: Hi, sue!
(01:10:33) PersonA: Let's make a story.
(01:10:44) PersonA: Once there was a boy names sue.
(01:10:56) PersonA: Now, he was no ordinary boy.
(01:10:57) Livliv: Wait....what's ballerina in French?
(01:11:05) PersonA: I dunno.
(01:11:11) Livliv: Hmph.
(01:11:57) PersonA: He was a boy WHO WAS TRYING TO GET INTO A GIRL'S SCHOOL AND SNEAK IN FOR SOME REASON OR ANOTHER LIKE ALL THOSE CLICHE FICPRESS STORIES, ONLIE THE OPPOSITE!
(01:12:24) PersonA: And he didn't have to assume a pretend identity, because his name was sue and no one would ever know.
(01:12:36) PersonA: your turn!
(01:14:24) Livliv: Well, he had to wear a stuffed bra, but he was short enough and undeveloped at the age of 15 that people didn't notice.
(01:14:56) Livliv: But he didn't find himself falling in love with one of the girls.....instead, he found himself crushing over a young male teacher.
(01:15:31) PersonA: Whenever that teacher came into the room, he felt his cheeks flush and looked down at the floor.
(01:16:07) PersonA: Of course, the teacher noticed this, but passed it off as the schoolgirl crush of a young, beautiful adolescent girl.
(01:17:54) Livliv: Every night, Sue's dreams would be full of this man.
(01:18:07) Livliv: These dreams were hot, sweaty, and very delish.
(01:19:4 cool PersonA: Sue couldn't beleive it-- he'd only gone to a girl's school to make sure he was straight! This unnerved Sue, so he tried to avoid the teacher as much as possible. However, this was very hard, since the teacher taught half of his classes.
(01:20:4 cool Livliv: So Sue decided he'd have to seduce the teacher.....as a GIRL.
(01:21:10) PersonA: Out of purely innocent reasons.
(01:23:50) Livliv: Sue walked up to his teacher one day, and said, "I don't think I get this--could you help me with it?" And waved a worksheet having to do with American history in the teacher's face.
(01:24:07) PersonA: The teacher was confused.
(01:25:36) Livliv logged out.
(01:25:47) Livliv logged in.
(01:25:59) Livliv: Eh, sorry.
(01:26:05) Livliv: Continue with the story.
(01:26:25) PersonA: He didn't understand-- what didn't she get? She had answered all the questions in class right. But then he understood what she was aiming for. He became angry. Didn't the girl know that he was gay?! eXERCIZING UTMOST CONTROL, HE SIMPLY ANSWERED THE QUESTIONS.
(01:26:30) PersonA: oops.
(01:26:3 cool PersonA: goddamn caps lock.
(01:27:13) Livliv: He was quite handsome, but we all know that the best looking men are gay.
(01:28:4 cool PersonA: Sue was not happy. This was not going the way he planned! So later on that night, he followed his teacher all the way to his private quarters. (it was a boarding school.)
(01:29:17) Livliv: He watched, through a keyhole, as his teacher got UNDRESSED.
(01:29:19) Livliv: THEN
(01:29:22) Livliv: SOMEONE
(01:29:25) Livliv: CAME UP
(01:29:33) Livliv: BEHIND HIM.
(01:29:43) PersonA: He turned around, shocked.
(01:29:52) PersonA: IT WAS HIS TEACHER!
(01:30:06) PersonA: But then who was the undressed man in the room?
(01:30:33) PersonA: "You fell for my trap," The teacher whispered seductively into Sue's ear.
(01:31:05) PersonA: "I hired someone to lure you into my private quarters...now I will have my way with you."
(01:31:20) PersonA: Suddenly, Sue woke up.
(01:31:31) Livliv: "DAMN!"
(01:31:34) Livliv: He thought.
(01:31:39) Livliv: "Only a dream."
(01:32:31) PersonA: Sue shook his head vehemently. "Oh, if only," he sighed. He then proceeded to sing (because we all know this was meant to be a musical):
(01:33:07) Livliv: "You can't always get what you waaaant!"
(01:33:51) PersonA: (Horribly off-tune, of course, since the actor may be pretty but he was no musician.)
(01:34:02) Livliv: lol
(01:34:14) PersonA: yer turn!
(01:34:14) Livliv: (Not part of story)
(01:35:14) PersonA: yer turn!
(01:35:33) Livliv: He then silently asked himself why he liked his teacher so much. Was it the smell of Old Spice deodorant he wore? Or the licorice aftershave? His silky flaxen locks? Or his deliciously tight kahki pants?
(01:35:36) Livliv: No.
(01:35:4 cool Livliv: Well, yes, but it was something else.
(01:35:53) PersonA: lol
(01:35:54) Livliv: It was his inner depth.
(01:36:15) Livliv: His hidden secrets, the way he talked and evoked ideas so SEXILY.
(01:38:49) PersonA: The way he smiled, the way he laughed, the way he ran his hand through his hair when he was frustrated, and that cute little smirk that adorned his chiseled features so often... the way he taught, the way... that he was perfect for Sue. He swooned. He would never be good enough for his favorite teacher, he thought sadly! Out loud, he cried, "Why does he have to have such a tight a**?!"
(01:41:14) Livliv: A girl woke up in the bed next to him.
(01:41:17) Livliv: "Sue?"
(01:41:27) Livliv: She looked at him, puzzled.
(01:41:37) Livliv: "Sue, why do you have a BONER?!"
(01:42:17) PersonA: Sue gasped. "It's, a, um... UNICORN HORN! I keep the in my pants for good luck."
(01:43:35) Livliv: "What? Am I dreaming?" The girl asked groggily.
(01:43:39) Livliv: "YEAH!"
(01:43:51) Livliv: Sue jumped at this chance for redemption.
(01:44:0 cool PersonA: The girl promptly passed out.
(01:45:04) PersonA: Sue felt releived. "Let that never happen again!" He said, and proceeded to leave the dormitory and go for a walk. This would be Sue's method of getting rid of his boner.
(01:46:10) Livliv: brb
(01:46:16) Livliv: Me gots to pee.
(01:49:13) PersonA: Livvie, hurry!
(01:49:19) PersonA: Waa!
(01:49:45) Livliv: Backee.
(01:49:53) PersonA: Clad in only a flimsy, lacy nightdress, boxers, and a fake, stuffed bra, sue donned high heels and strutted outside.

Sue walked sexily to the conveniently placed water fountain, which spewed out cold, icy water that made the setting even more romantic. The night was warm, and the beautifully full moon radiated beams of silver light. Sue posed against the fountain sexily.
(01:50:26) Livliv: v.v
(01:50:36) PersonA: ?
(01:51:42) Livliv: It was then that one of the more hated teachers, an old, balding man named Mr. Pomfoof, came and sat down by Sue. "Hey, little lady," he crooned, "How 'bout some lovin' for an A+ in my class?"
(01:53:1 cool PersonA: Sue screamed. "Save me, oh, somebody save me!" Sue wasn't in the mood to wait to be saved by her love, he would much rather have been approached by her favorite teacher immediately, but he supposed that being rescued romantically was also good.
(01:54:29) Livliv: Her screams were heard by just who she had intended, as his window was open. You see, it is now important for us to rewind, and look inside the mind of this teacher, a man so loved by our hero, Sue.
(01:55:1 cool Livliv: This teacher had been standing, looking out at the stars and thinking of an old love, a man who had died under tragic, tragic circumstances, and whom the teacher was not yet over.
(01:56:11) PersonA: The man may have been a model in several popular pornography magazines, but, well...
(01:56:17) Livliv: They had once lain side by side on a starry night like this one, whispering sweet nothings in each other's ears, and kissing passionately.
(01:57:00) PersonA: He remembered that day with remorse. The sex had been great, but he should have known it would never last.
(01:58:3 cool Livliv: And so, as he looked up at those stars, he wa reminded of his lost lover, the man who had brought him a thousand promises, which fate had then smashed.
(01:59:04) PersonA: He started to sob.
(02:01:09) PersonA: LIV?! HELLO?!
(02:01:30) Livliv: Suddenly, the teacher (I suppose I should call him by his name, Wendell), heard a screaming noise outside his window.
(02:02:45) PersonA: He gasped. That someone else should be in pain on a night like this? Unthinkable! He quickly rushed to the scene, armed with a medeival sword and the knowledge that he was a black belt in karate.
(02:04:0 cool Livliv: The sight he found was that strange Sue girl, being disgustingly fondled by Mr. Pomfoof.
(02:05:07) Livliv: "Get OUT, SCUM!!!" Cried Wendell, brandishing the sword with vigor.
(02:06:36) Livliv: Eh.
(02:06:39) Livliv: Sorry.
(02:06:40) Livliv: So.
(02:06:4 cool PersonA: Pomfoof immediately looked up, and tears began to form in his eyes. "I only wanted to impress you!" he said to wendell, but he was forgotten. Wendell took sue's hand handsomely and said, "Miss Sue, are you quite alright?"
(02:06:54) PersonA: So what?
(02:07:31) Livliv: So nothing.
(02:07:50) Livliv: I just meant, "So." as in continuing with the story....
(02:07:5 cool PersonA: Oh.
(02:08:00) PersonA: Well?
(02:08:05) Livliv: Sue nearly fainted with joy.
(02:08:46) Livliv: "Oh, I'm.....I'm......" But he burst into tears, too scared because he was almost raped to say anything.
(02:09:00) Livliv: He was happy and traumatized at the same time.
(02:09:09) Livliv: "MISS SUE!"
(02:09:17) Livliv: Sue looked up, startled.
(02:09:1 cool PersonA: Wendell patted him on the back consolingly.
(02:09:24) Livliv: "Wh-what?"
(02:09:5 cool Livliv: Wendell looked at Sue, aghast. "WHY IN THE NAME OF GOD DO YOU HAVE AN ERECTION?!"
(02:10:14) Livliv: "HOW IN THE NAME--WHY--HOW--MY GOD."
(02:10:16) PersonA: Sue flushed endearingly.
(02:10:31) PersonA: "Well, it has to do with my sexuality..."
(02:11:09) PersonA: "OH MY GOD! ARE YOU... DO YOU... you don't... ARE YOU BOTH? You know, female and, well...?"
(02:11:29) PersonA: "No!" Sue hastened to reply.
(02:11:39) Livliv: "I--I---"
(02:11:47) Livliv: He was unable to go on.
(02:12:15) Livliv: Putting his head in his hands, Wendell moaned. Sue wondered if he would make that kind of noise during an orgasm.
(02:12:43) PersonA: If possibly, Sue's boner increased.
(02:12:52) PersonA: *possibly
(02:12:5 cool PersonA: *possible
(02:13:14) Livliv: Hey
(02:13:1 cool PersonA: Sue breathed in.
(02:13:21) PersonA: What?
(02:13:46) Livliv: I just realized
(02:13:46) Livliv: It's 12:13
(02:13:46) Livliv: I needa go bed bye.
(02:13:56) PersonA: Bye!

(22:28:33) Livliv: "Are you saying that you're a BOY?!" Wendell's voice was cracked, rough, reminding Sue of an unpolished gem stone, ragged at the edges, but oh-so-beautiful.
(22:28:56) PersonA: Sue whimpered.
(22:29:44) Livliv: "Yes!" He cried, his boner still not going away. In fact, it kind of hurt. The tears springing to his eyes were from more than just a painful erection, however.
(22:29:56) Livliv: He would now be sent away from the school.
(22:29:59) Livliv: Banished.
(22:30:09) Livliv: Never to see his beloved Wendell again!
(22:30:37) PersonA: "And I would like to MAKE LOVE TO YOU!" Sue said, in a desperate attempt to regain favor.
(22:32:0 cool Livliv: Wendell looked at Sue very strangely.
(22:32:19) Livliv: "Sue.....wait.....what is your name?!"
(22:32:29) PersonA: 'It's SUE!"
(22:32:44) PersonA: "A boy nameD Sue?!"
(22:32:55) Livliv: He looked cutely perplexed.
(22:33:01) Livliv: "Yes."
(22:35:15) Livliv: "Oh, well...." Wendell's eyes rested upon Sue's. "Sue, I didn't even know you were male until today. And, although I AM gay, you are too young for me, and I am still grieving the loss of a loved one. Furthermore, I have no feelings for you other than the feelings appropriate to a teacher-student relationship."
(22:35:35) Livliv: Crushed, Sue hung his head, willing the tears not to come.
(22:36:26) PersonA: "B-but, wen... I... I... I LOVE YOU!" Sue sobbed.
(22:36:47) PersonA: Wendell's traitorous thoughts alerted him that Sue looked SEX-AY>
(22:36:50) PersonA: .
(22:38:15) Livliv: "I--SUE, GO TO YOUR DORMITORY, NOWWWWW!" The man yelled, agravated by the whole situation. He had just wanted to enjoy the night, thinking about his lost love.
(22:38:26) Livliv: Instead, he got THIS rubbish!
(22:38:42) PersonA: Sue sobbed and scurried off.
(22:39:24) PersonA: "H-how... HOW COULD HE BE SO CRUEL?!" Sue lamented into the darkness of his dormitory.
(22:39:31) PersonA: A girl yawned.
(22:39:56) PersonA: "Sue, shut the ******** up," She said. "I'm trying to get some ******** sleep."
(22:40:44) Livliv: Hold on, ima do some math h-work.
(22:40:56) Livliv: That I have been severely neglecting.
(22:40:56) PersonA: ERRRGHT. YOUSUK.
(22:41:05) Livliv: Continue with the story.
(22:43:13) PersonA: Sue, who was deeply upset, clung in a fetal position.
(22:43:2 cool PersonA: "Oh, why must I be exposed to such anguish?!"
(22:43:51) PersonA: Suddenly, Sue heard a noise from the darkness.
(22:44:02) PersonA: "Oh, Sue, I feel your pain..."
(22:44:06) PersonA: SCENE BREAK
(22:44:51) Livliv: 0.0
(22:45:01) Livliv: What will happen next?
(22:45:0 cool PersonA: GASP!
(22:45:1 cool PersonA: wE WILL NEVER KKNOW UNTIL YOU WRITE IT.
(22:46:41) Livliv: It was.......a GHOST!
(22:46:4 cool PersonA: NO!
(22:46:55) Livliv: The ghost of Wendell's dead lover.
(22:47:09) PersonA: Oh, love triangle.
(22:47:19) Livliv: Ohohohoho!
(22:49:01) PersonA: "Once, I was wendell's LOVER... and lemme tell ya... that man is a SEXY BEAST." Sue stared at the ghostly, pale apparation that stood before him. It was... freaky. But also sexy, in a pale, ghostly way.
(22:50:20) PersonA: "Once you become sex buddies, I can tell you all of his..." The ghost leaned in, "tender... spots. Oh, by the way, my name is Fredrico. I'm a porn star." He struck a pose.
(22:50:30) PersonA: What are the four suits of cards?
(22:51:47) Livliv: Aces, Hearts, Clubs, Spades.
(22:52:06) PersonA: Aces?
(22:52:0 cool Livliv: No, wait, Diaminds, Hearts, Clubs, Spades.
(22:52:13) Livliv: *Diamonds
(22:52:15) PersonA: YES!
(22:52:30) Livliv: *slaps forehead* Why did I say aces?
(22:52:37) PersonA: jE NE SAIS PAS.
(22:52:57) Livliv: Ok, so go on.
(22:53:0 cool PersonA: YOU!

(22:54:05) Livliv: I'm doing math.
(22:54:33) PersonA: GRRRR.
Sue stared. And sobbed. Again.
(22:54:4 cool PersonA: Finally, sue replied, "Teach me!"
(22:58:25) Livliv: ?
(22:58:39) PersonA: "Teach me to touch, teach me to satisfy, teach me to have the courage to tough those heavenly hairs, those worshipful eyes, that godly nose. Teach me to dredge up the courage to face that frigid exterior and dig into the molten depths underneath, the warm, liquid part of him so much like the mantle of the earth. Teach me to love, to laugh, and to live like a prince in the arms of the man I love, my ing, my only, the object of my heart's desire and the holder of the most important part of my soul, my desire!"
(22:59:39) PersonA: *love instead of desire as the last word.
(23:00:07) Livliv: "Man of words, are you?" Grinning slightly, the ghost moved forward. "Well, let's just say this--I'm more a man of DEEDS."
(23:00:09) PersonA: *touch
(23:00:13) PersonA: *king
(23:00:24) PersonA: Oooo.
(23:00:37) Livliv: "W-wait...."
(23:01:11) Livliv: Sue was suddenly unsure of himself. Was he really going to have a sexual encounter with a GHOST?!
(23:01:32) PersonA: O.o
(23:01:44) Livliv: "Oh, you silly little boy." Fredrico shook his head, chuckling.
(23:03:29) Livliv: "Ghosts are no more capable of making love to humans as a a rock is capable of feelings. No, I'll be helping you to woo my former lover, and when you've succeeded, I shall coach you every moment that you are with him."






User Comments: [1] [add]
Ruby_X
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Tue Jan 16, 2007 @ 05:11pm
heart
Oh, how beautiful 'tis.


User Comments: [1] [add]
 
 
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