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right... ... I feel like such a rotten brat.... one of my good friends is getting a life of her own... she has a boyfriend... she has a very good friend... and she hasnt been on the internet lately because shes been out with them having fun... ... and here I sit, thinking of what a b**** she is for leaving me, then after I stop myself and think about... well what I am thinking.....

.... I realize how much of a brat I am... I would SLAP myself if I was someone else *slaps self right now* it's so selfish to want someone to abide by what I want... but at the same time it only seems fair.... to me at least.... ..... *sigh* you cant blame be but you can... it's only human nature but I should know better..... I hate it..... I just want all my friends to be happy.... I just sometimes loose sight of it....

so my costumes are taking a turn for the expensive... and I;m faced with a horrible desicion.... .. do I really want to spend a lot of money on my costumes? are they THAT worth it? ....... and I still dont know the answer. I need two wigs... two oddly colored wigs for my 2 costumes I am working on (Juri and Chrono) *sighs* ...... so stressed......

I feel slightly better... hopefully my laundry will be done soon so I can go back to my book and maybe some homework and try to sort things out...... .... yah know... just try to make sense of things.... try to regain my life again... er... god what the heck am I smoking? I sound like an old hasbeen actress whose only option left to her is to write an autobiography on her washed up has been career.............. dang...

Have to take the ACT's on feb 12th.... .... so not looking forward to it.... It's just... I cant ..... .. really read too terribly fast... fast enough to get extremly good marks on the english section..... .. I like to take my time with things..... ....make sure I'm doing the correct job... not to make any stupid mistakes... read slow.. absorb everything I am reading.... ... unfortunatly the ACT's is the opposite of that.... I hate it....
..... I'm just in one of those hate everything moods.... lol.. I hate it....

silly me... here I am writting a novel.... .. I should go now... I need more water and even though I would rather enjoy RPing into the wee hours of the night... I cant.... no one is on to do it with me... hoe depressing... so I go onto bed... and laundry.... and reading.... .. hopefully to improove on my reading skills... O.o I mean the pace I read at... yah ok ski yah.. ... *depressing sigh* sad