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I Hate My Life
Today is gonna be SO boring. Danielle is down taking a test, and she's gonna be there ALL DAY LONG. crying I feel so lonely. And jealous. Why didn't I get picked? That's not fair. And I miss Jake. I miss him a lot. He hasn't been talking to me much lately. I wonder if he's mad. crying Or if there's something wrong with his computer.
It's no fair that that there aren't any guys IRL who like me, they all like me online. It's like God is teasing me. He's up there saying: "Haha, here you go Becca. You can be a total slut on the computer. Here, have another boyfriend to add to your collection. But, lo! I can't let you have one in real life. Who wants to look at that ugly face?" crying I wish there was just ONE guy who liked me IRL. And it's so annoying. Three guys asked me to pair on PC when I wasn't paired, and I told Saphira and she's all bitchy and goes: "I got five," like it's a BAD thing. Then she's got all the guys in seventh grade've got acrush on her, and she goes: "Oh, it's not all that great." She's a b***h. She's got it all, and she hates it! I would KILL to switch places with her. Or at least to have ONE guy like me. An dI betcha that if I met any of the guys I met on the computer in real life, they would say: "Ew, what an ugly chick. Probably a f**. I'm SO not going out with her." I hate my life.
What more, I am the most pathetic person on the face of the planet. Since I am missing that feeling of being loved, I fell in love with a cartoon character, and thus became known school wide as Beast Girl. Then I made up a character for a fanfic that I began writing to ease the pain of not being loved. I hate my life.
And that's why I get on the computer so much. It's the only place I can get any love. I'm an official computer geek, who doesn't even know s**t about computers, or like them really.
And I'm ugly. I have acne, which is probably the worst thing and the only thing keeping me from actually looking decent. But no. God's up there saying: "Here Becca, some more zits for you. Can't have you looking pretty, oh no. You have to live alone for your whole life." Guys DO care about how you look. If you're ugly, they hate you. Unless you're ugly AND popular. Then you can be ugly. But I'm no where's near popular.
Some of the people who took the test came back. I hope Dani comes back soon. I am SO bored.
Jake was talking to me but he's not anymore. crying I REALLY REALLY wanna talk to him. But all he wants to do is RP. Right now his dog is chasing me.
I wonder if we're having Chorus. yep, we just did.
Dani didn't get back from testing until after Chorus. She said she didn't like it. People were chosen randomly. So it's not like only all the smart people got tested.
Jake's dog was chasing me, and I was running, and I didn't watch where I was going so I ran into a tree. XD
There is a song we're singing in Chorus called: You Raise Me Up. It's a beautiful song but terrible to sing. >.< I like Into The West better. And in Blue Skies we ALL have to try doing a skat solo. whee
Erin was bragging about how when she was doing the test she never had to use a calculator once. Me and Jessie were dissin' her, and I said: "She probably doesn't know how to use one." And Jessie said: "They probably say on the test- Don't use a calculator." XD
Lyrics for You Raise Me Up:
When I am down, and oh, my soul's so weary
When troubles come, and my heart burdened be
I am strong, and sit here in the silence
Until you come, and stay awhile with me
[CHORUS]
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders
You raise me up, to more than I can be
There is no life, no life without its hunger
Each restless heart, beats so imperfectly
But when you come, and I am filled with wonder
Sometimes I think I glimpse enterinty
[CHORUS x 3]
Grr, I've been trying to figure out how to make a banner, because Hissa said she would make mine, but she hasn't made them yet. I wish she would make them. V_V
We're in study hall, and I'm so bored. I WOULD be reading but my book that I have is 180 pages of s**t, and I WOULD be reading #4 of Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events book, but we didn't have library, and the library is closed. Ga...
My wonderful plan for life:
I've been told I'm a good friend. I always thought that this would never help me in the future. I figured out how it could.
Plan A: I befriend a billionaire and s/he gives me money.
Plan B: I begin a Dog Breeding company, but don't get a lot of money. I meet/befriend Oprah and she falls in love with my company and my dogs, and gives me money and I become rich.
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