COLD HARD TRUHS ABOUT NINJAS LIKE ME
Ninja don't sweat. Not even during ninja sex. Ever.
Bullets can't kill a ninja. Even 1 million bullets can not kill a ninja. (See the training video "Ninja 3: The Domination" for demonstration!)
The Fart of a Ninja is a million times deadlier than the venom of a rattlesnake. With the right wind, a single fart can wipe out a small village.
Ninja invented skateboarding.
Only a ninja can kill a ninja. Regular humans are useless against a ninja.
Ninja never wear headbands with the word "ninja" printed on them.
Ninja can breath underwater anytime they want.
Ninja can change complete wardrobes in less than 1 second.
Ninja don't smoke, but they do use smoke bombs.
Ninja always land on their feet. If they don't have feet they will land on their nubs.
Ninja invented the internet. All of it.
Ninja don't eat or drink very much, and they never have to go to the bathroom.
Ninja always move to America when making a new start as a non-assassin.
Ninja don't play sports. Unless killing is a sport. They always win.
Ninja can crush golfballs with 2 fingers, any two fingers.
Ninja have a bad temper when they lose at anything. They will usually cut off the winners head before they have time to brag.
Ninja lie all the time. Even when the truth serves better, ninja will lie anyway.
Ninja swords are always straight with a square handle guard. Always. Curves are for girls.
Whenever a ninja masterbates people get hurt.
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