Why does this keep happening to me? It's like no matter how hard I try, everything always seems to go wrong. First mom and dad...then Kisuke...and now Grams. I had to call Sora-sama and see if I could stay at the Souma Estate for a little while. A week at the most. While I was out yesterday, my grandmother (aka Grams or Gram Buzo...why I don't know...) was struck by a car and hospitalized. I was with her last night and she regained conciousness this morning. She's pretty banged up, but also very lucky. She didn't obtain any serious internal injuries which I'm so thankful for...I can only hope the injuries she did get heal properly. I'm not looking forward to this coming week. I'll have to stay out of the house as much as I can. I'm looking for someone to help me with financial things...but it's hard knowing Grams is in the hospital. I should go visit her after school tomorrow. I'm not going today...I'm so tired and stressed out. I think I'll spend today out and about, catching up on my manuscript and things. Oh! I got a letter in the mail today. There's going to be a huge thing in New York in a few months...an awards sort of things for us novelists. I've been informed that I've been nominated for at least nine awards. Heh. I should be happy...right? But...I'm not. I wish I could share this with Kisuke. I wish...I wish he could...go with me...no. I can't. I need to stop wishing these things because they'll never happen. We of the Juunishi Curse are to forever remain dutiful and loyal to Sora-sama. We will never fall in love...we will serve her forever...love her forever. According to what Haru-san and Isuzu-san wrote in their journals...we Juunishi are in for a rough life. Perhaps there's some sort of hope though...because they also said that even after all of the struggles, strife, pain...their lives were pure happiness. I only hope that'll be my fate as well. But more than anything...I wish for Kisuke's happiness...and that Sora-sama will never face her anger, hate, or jealousy towards him. I pray that day never comes, and if it does, I will gladly take it onto myself. As I've said countless times...I will do anything for him...heh. I wonder...these types of feelings and such...it really makes me wonder. I don't think Kisuke and I met for no reason...perhaps...perhaps we were meant to meet. Perhaps we were- no...-Sighs.- There isn't anything. Fate is something that is decided before we are born...and as much as it breaks my heart...as much as I want to cry and say how unfair it is...I pray to whatever other Divine Being is out there that Kisuke is not a part of mine.
~Izu
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::.Kindle.My.Heart.With.Sweet.Nothings.::
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