So he's emailing me a lot less. That's no big deal, he just has a life right now. While I really don't... I'm stuck here in Vermont while he's got friends and band stuff in East Lansing. I talked to Priya abou this one. I feel so childish for being like this, but well, it's me. I feel like jealous of everyone around Stevie right now. Try having the strongest urge to just rip the head off of everyone with in touching distance of him. Worst of it is that it's not like Stevie is flirtaseous like, oh yeah, ME.
I mean come on Tessa GROW UP. He's a sweet guy, he knows what's going to hurt, and he's not going to hurt you. At least he's going to try to not hurt you. Also getting a new squadling. WTF Tessa it's Niquita. He's a guy, you knew he was going to join, and yet you still feel the need to rip his rotten little head off. I know that this is all probably because me and Stevie don't actually know what we are. Neither of us have claims on one another. No ties, nothing to keep each other from dating some one else.
I swear as soon as I get home I'm sitting down with Stevie and having a good long talk with him about this. At leasting making sure we're both on vaguely the same page. Or you know in the same universe at least. All I want is someone who I can basically be dating without the lable. I don't need to have another realationship that involves me, the guy, and the rest of the whole world. Lordy Lou I certainly do not need or want another one of those. But what if Stevie does? I mean this is his first realationship what if he wants the whole spotlight thing... Oh come on if he wanted that he would of asked you out instead of kissing you in his basement. Also he would have established a lable long before now. He also would be telling people at band camp right now... I don't exactly have a garuntee that he isn't. I know pretty well that he isn't but still.
I'm such a worry wort. It's just this is the first time I've felt this strongly about someone since Luke and I'm just protective. Plus the major confusion doesn't help. I would just ask him in the emails I send him but I feel the need to do it in person. I can't explain why. I guess because of Nathan. I fell for the guy I knew on the internet, who was a very different indivdual than who I knew in person. So far the Stevie I know is so different than the one on the internet that it kind of solves that problem. I guess... I have no idea it's too damn confusing. Oh well it's Wensday only 3 and half more days and then I can spend the day working stuff out with Stevie. Or at least a couple hours...
Oceanus101 · Thu Aug 31, 2006 @ 04:07am · 0 Comments |