Today was shitty...
I guess that's the best word for it.
I guess the morning was okay. I spent most of it reading Dominic Deegan. When it came near time for Mom and I to go look at horses to Free lease, though, I started thinking. I can't remember what I was thinking about, but I remember thinking that not everybody got to be happy. There's not certainty that I will grow up, live a happy life, and 'find my true love.' I mean, what about Matt King? Did HE get to be happy? No, he shot himself. When he was in sixth grade. Leaving behind his parents, his brother, his cousin (Jared, my brother), and all his friends. I went to school with him in Burnham. He would sometimes play with me when there was no one else around. Of course, I was always a monster chasing him and Mike and Derek around.
I wanted to cry, and bawl my eyes out. But I bit my lip and wiped the tears that had already begun in my eyes. I didn't want to be crying when mom showed up. I hate crying in front of other people.
Then Mom came and we went to go look at horses. When we got there these 2 boxers came out and attacked us. Then while we were looking at this one horse a bug kept flying around my head and I freaked, and that b***h lady said "If you're scared of bugs, then you're in trouble." Like I've never been around ******** horses in my whole life. >> I have a ******** phobia of bugs, so sue me. The whole time Mom acted like I wasn't even there.
When we were looking at these other two horses, I started feeling like I had to cry again. So I went back out to the truck to blow my nose. But I didn't cry much.
I wanted to bawl my eyes out again. But instead I stayed in the truck for an hour before going to look for Mom. I was scared to, because I didn't know that place very well and I didn't know where she was, and I didn't like the people there. Then once I found Mom, we left.
The whole ride home she tried to talk to me about what happened and asked if I had gone just because I thought she wanted to go, and we decided not to go to another place tomorrow like we were going to.
I wish there were someone close to me I could talk to about it. (Like *cough*Joel*cough*) But no one really cares about me. Just people online, like Jake. And... no wait, just Jake.
But I suppose no one would want to help me, or read this whole entry, the way I just keep going on and on like that.
I really am pathetic...
I guess that's the best word for it.
I guess the morning was okay. I spent most of it reading Dominic Deegan. When it came near time for Mom and I to go look at horses to Free lease, though, I started thinking. I can't remember what I was thinking about, but I remember thinking that not everybody got to be happy. There's not certainty that I will grow up, live a happy life, and 'find my true love.' I mean, what about Matt King? Did HE get to be happy? No, he shot himself. When he was in sixth grade. Leaving behind his parents, his brother, his cousin (Jared, my brother), and all his friends. I went to school with him in Burnham. He would sometimes play with me when there was no one else around. Of course, I was always a monster chasing him and Mike and Derek around.
I wanted to cry, and bawl my eyes out. But I bit my lip and wiped the tears that had already begun in my eyes. I didn't want to be crying when mom showed up. I hate crying in front of other people.
Then Mom came and we went to go look at horses. When we got there these 2 boxers came out and attacked us. Then while we were looking at this one horse a bug kept flying around my head and I freaked, and that b***h lady said "If you're scared of bugs, then you're in trouble." Like I've never been around ******** horses in my whole life. >> I have a ******** phobia of bugs, so sue me. The whole time Mom acted like I wasn't even there.
When we were looking at these other two horses, I started feeling like I had to cry again. So I went back out to the truck to blow my nose. But I didn't cry much.
I wanted to bawl my eyes out again. But instead I stayed in the truck for an hour before going to look for Mom. I was scared to, because I didn't know that place very well and I didn't know where she was, and I didn't like the people there. Then once I found Mom, we left.
The whole ride home she tried to talk to me about what happened and asked if I had gone just because I thought she wanted to go, and we decided not to go to another place tomorrow like we were going to.
I wish there were someone close to me I could talk to about it. (Like *cough*Joel*cough*) But no one really cares about me. Just people online, like Jake. And... no wait, just Jake.
But I suppose no one would want to help me, or read this whole entry, the way I just keep going on and on like that.
I really am pathetic...
Oh wait, it's me. </3
