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so yeah...stuff....
I was in Shadow's passenger seat a few days back. I saw som ehigh school aged kids driveing a beat up car laughing and blareing thier music on the freeway, and I shook my head and smiled at memories.
And I relaized...I miss that.
I miss just hanging out fo rthe sake of hangging out. Where it wasn't about always haveing to have soemthign to do or a place to go. Driveing and talking, goign out to order a soda and sit at a burgur king, go window shopping and comment on the people or items we saw there, which would lead to diferent converations and justy talks for hours, go see a movie at the budget because we didn't want to spend a gazillion dollars on a movie, but just wanted to hang out (and even if we had seen themovie before, it was always cooler the second time), or just go bum anyplace because it was soemthing to do...togther...so none of us had to be alone.
I had no idea what I was goign to face each day, but I knew I was stong enough to do it. I was strong, and I had strong and true friends.
I miss that so much...
Here is is always about haveing soemthign to do, and no one wants to come up with anything or n oone wants to do the ideas others throw out there. People are to ocupided my computer games, sience fiction, or video games to get out and do things with others.
For the longest time, i wanted to go climb a tree with soemone. Not for any other reson but to climb the tree and be spending time with someoneelse...but no one woudl go with me.
I want to go for picnics....I want to have bonfires...I want to plan camping trips and actuyally GO on them....I want to wonder aimlessly around a mall and look at all the stuff and sit and watch as people go by....to go to anyplace and take pictures to frezze in time....
I miss randoms advetures with Erik, Bougie, and Dylan. I miss Dylan vdeio tapeing them, I miss playign ddr with them...actually QUESTING to find DDR machines around where we lived...
I miss es-Jon randomly decideing we should go bowling or go drive an hour to find the best pizza place around and just the two of us have some awsome a** pizza.
I miss bakeing a cake with Brad, and throwing the batter at one another, knockign the flower over, me slippign on it, and just laughing while cleaning up the mess.
I miss walking along the top of the broken wall in the vacent lot next to jenifers house while I would look down at her walking next to it. I miss the loooooooooooooooooooooong conversations we would have about EVERTHING! Life, what we wanted to do, and love...to things liek Dragons, faires, and things from a world beyond this one.
I miss going to David's house and just watching DVD's, tv shows, or playing video games.
I miss playign ******** D&D that was a REAL ******** game of D&D..not this half assed s**t they pull off here. Imiss sittign down and makeing an interesting and intrict char with back ground, story, and the ablity to role play as well as be in combat.
here...I don't know what I am. I have very few poeple who I feel actually want to be my friend here. More so I feel like they are just putting up with me. I'm not saying they are all liek that...but it feels liek most of them are.
I am sick of haveing a millioin and one idea's of things to do. I have lists saved on my computer. No one ever seems to want to do them though, but they keep on bitching about being board or nothing to do. I'm sorry, fine...you come up with something...I am done trying.
Another thing...I am sick of everyone throwing it in my face I lack a job. ******** off ok. I am trying. I am sorry I don't have mommy and ******** Daddy to hand me s**t of reffer me to their friends. I am trying as best I can with what little I have to work with...so shove it frimly up your asses.
gah...thats enough out of me...
 oODigital GlowOo · Sun Aug 13, 2006 @ 02:32am · 2 Comments |
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