Something recently got me thinking about the kind of person I was back when I frequented gaia which sent me bumbling around on this site once more.
Major changes:
- Got married a few years back. We're ******** gross-a** nerds. It's great.
- Am agnostic now. (Religious focused OCD and religion REALLY don't mix. I am SO so sorry to all the people that particular bit of bullshit spilled out over onto.)
- Am a filthy ******** godsdamned liberal now. /affectionate
- officially realized I'm an enby and probably tilt towards approaching transmasc and always have. Feel kinda dumb for realizing it 34 years into my existence but so it goes.
- Have had a steady tech support job for a good while and it's nice. I'm a ******** expert. I solve puzzles and help people and explain s**t for a living and I get the good s**t calls because I deal with installers/technicians instead of end users. Hell yeah.
- Probably won't ever have kids. Don't think I'd feel right bringing them into the world right now. Ce'est la vie.
- Been in mental health treatment and have spent the last fifteen odd years putting most if not all of my not inconsiderable stubornness and vitriol towards bare-knuckle boxing the kraken that is my own OCD/ADHD/PTSD and just plain shittiness.
- I'm on discord now. I write gay werewolf fanfiction. It's horrible and terrible and aweful and I revel in the cringe I once ran from.
Life is too short to ******** on people for doing all the harmless little things that bring them joy, and I don't have to understand something to respect it and to celebrate other people's enjoyment of it.
Which is just such a contrast to who I used to be. Like, damn. I'm a whole different person.
Anyone who remembers me here probably remembers a much worse version of me, the version I left behind once I got onto meds and started getting my s**t together so I stopped hurting everyone around me.
Thank you, those who were kind to me. I probably didn't deserve it but I appreciate it. That includes the people whose kindness came in the form of verbal b***h-slaps that eventually helped me realize my head was up my a**, thereby facilitating its removal from my rectum.
I know I was terrible. I'm sorry for that; and I wish I could take back all the horrible nasty frustrating shitty things I did, but I can't.
But hey, every day's a new day to try to kick my own a** into gear, and I've been successful so far.
I hope all the fine folks I knew are doing well. Especially the haters, because let's face it, you were in the right.
Here's to another ten years spent touching grass and perusing other sites.
