Okay, I officially want to die again. And I'm pretty sure the only person who's likely to read this (Ariel) won't want me to (so chances are I won't)
But... I've got that feeling again. That feeling that I've just been stabbed through the heart with a knife. I hate this. I always choose the wrong guy, without fail. It's like Mom and the check-out aisle at Wal*Mart, you can always bet your money that she's going to get the worst one, same with me and guys.
I fell in love with Joel... he was so nice to me and helpful and actually didn't think I was [that much of] a freak. But he just wanted me to be his sister. I knew that, yet I still had a little glimmer of hope that maybe his thoughts had changed. But yeah right, like I'd be that lucky. Like the higher beings would actually let me be happy for once. He says he still wants to be friends. But I can't talk to him... it just hurts too much. Thinking about him now makes me break into tears.
A few people tried to help me too.. but the thing is, whenever people try to help me, it tends to make things worse.
Oh yeah, and I think I got dehydrated from crying today. Is that possible?
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