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I need to gain some ******** control. I feel like a disgusting pig. How did I let myself go like this? I feel like I've finally become obsessed with my body and with losing weight instead of pretending like I was going to be. Every day I know I'm getting thinner, but every day I look in the mirror, I see the same old fat c**t.

I've never wanted to throw up my food more than I do now. But it's too late for that, I ate 2 hours ago. The food's already half digested and not all of it would come back up.

I hate throwing up anyway ... gaaah! ******** why am I so ******** fat and gross?!? aoirghaoweuriauerhgoiearg